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Day 983 of My Captivity     My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.     The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.     Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

it equally if not more important for those around you to understand it–family, job, school, friends. Once they get the concept they will be able to understand you much better and to help you as well.

Try to get rid of the negativity that may have infested your system if you have lived for years without knowing what you had was ADHD

Listen to feedback from trusted others. Adults (and children, too) with ADHD are notoriously poor self-observers. They use a lot of what can appear to be denial.

Consider joining or starting a support group

Give up guilt over high-stimulus-seeking behavior. Understand that you are drawn to high stimuli. Try to choose them wisely, rather than brooding over the “bad” ones.

Don’t feel chained to conventional careers or conventional ways of coping. Give yourself permission to be yourself. Give up trying to be the person you always thought you should be–the model student or the organized executive, for example–and let yourself be who you are.

what you have is a neuropsychiatric condition. It is genetically transmitted. It is caused by biology, by how your brain is wired. It is NOT a disease of the will, nor a moral failing. It is NOT caused by a weakness in character, nor by a failure to mature. It’s cure is not to be found in the power of the will, nor in punishment, nor in sacrifice, nor in pain. ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS. Try as they might, many people with ADHD have great trouble accepting the syndrome as being rooted in biology rather than weakness of character.

External structure. Structure is the hallmark of the non-pharmacological treatment of the ADHD child. It can be equally useful with adults. Tedious to set up, once in place structure works like the walls of the bobsled slide, keeping the speedball sled from careening off the track.

Make frequent use of: ◦    lists ◦    color-coding ◦    reminders ◦    notes to self ◦    rituals ◦    files

Color coding. Mentioned above, color-coding deserves emphasis. Many people with ADHD are visually oriented. Take advantage of this by making things memorable with color: files, memoranda, texts, schedules, etc. Virtually anything in the black and white of type can be made more memorable, arresting, and therefore attention-getting with color.

try to make your environment as peppy as you want it to be without letting it boil over.

Now that you have the freedom of adulthood, try to set things up so that you will not constantly be reminded of your limitations.

 Make deadlines.

 Break down large tasks into small ones. Attach deadlines to the small parts. Then, like magic, the large task will get done. This is one of the simplest and most powerful of all structuring devices. Often a large task will feel overwhelming to the person with ADHD. The mere thought of trying to perform the task makes one turn away. On the other hand, if the large task is broken down into small parts, each component may feel quite manageable.

Prioritize. Avoid procrastination. When things get busy, the adult ADHD person loses perspective: paying an unpaid parking ticket can feel as pressing as putting out the fire that just got started in the wastebasket. Prioritize. Take a deep breath. Put first things first. Procrastination is one of the hallmarks of adult ADHD. You have to really discipline yourself to watch out for it and avoid it.

Accept fear of things going well. Accept edginess when things are too easy, when there’s no conflict. Don’t gum things up just to make them more stimulating.

 Notice how and where you work best: in a noisy room, on the train, wrapped in three blankets, listening to music, whatever. Children and adults with ADHD can do their best under rather odd conditions. Let yourself work under whatever conditions are best for you.

it is O.K. to do two things at once: carry on a conversation and knit, or take a shower and do your best thinking, or jog and plan a business meeting. Often people with ADHD need to be doing several things at once in order to get anything done at all.

Do what you’re good at. Again, if it seems easy, that is O.K. There is no rule that says you can only do what you’re bad at.

Leave time between engagements to gather your thoughts. Transitions are difficult for ADHD’ers, and mini-breaks can help ease the transition.

Keep a notepad in your car, by your bed, and in your pocketbook or jacket. You never know when a good idea will hit you, or you’ll want to remember something else.

Read with a pen in hand, not only for marginal notes or underlining, but for the inevitable cascade of “other” thoughts that will occur to you.

Set aside some time in every week for just letting go

Recharge your batteries. Related to #30, most adults with ADHD need, on a daily basis, some time to waste without feeling guilty about it. One guilt-free way to conceptualize it is to call it time to recharge your batteries. Take a nap, watch T.V., meditate. Something calm, restful, at ease.

Many adults with ADHD have an addictive or compulsive personality such that they are always hooked on something. Try to make this something positive.

Understand mood changes and ways to manage these. Know that your moods will change willy-nilly, independent of what’s going on in the external world. Don’t waste your time ferreting out the reason why or looking for someone to blame. Focus rather on learning to tolerate a bad mood, knowing that it will pass, and learning strategies to make it pass sooner. Changing sets, i.e., getting involved with some new activity (preferably interactive) such as a conversation with a friend or a tennis game or reading a book will often help.

recognize the following cycle which is very common among adults with ADHD: Something “startles” your psychological system, a change or transition, a disappointment or even a success. The precipitant may be quite trivial. This “startle” is followed by a mini-panic with a sudden loss of perspective, the world being set topsy-turvy. You try to deal with this panic by falling into a mode of obsessing and ruminating over one or another aspect of the situation. This can last for hours, days, even months.

Plan scenarios to deal with the inevitable blahs. Have a list of friends to call. Have a few videos that always engross you and get your mind off things. Have ready access to exercise. Have a punching bag or pillow handy if there’s extra angry energy. Rehearse a few pep talks you can give yourself, like, “You’ve been here before. These are the ADHD blues. They will soon pass. You are O.K.”

Expect depression after success. People with ADHD commonly complain of feeling depressed, paradoxically, after a big success. This is because the high stimulus of the chase or the challenge or the preparation is over. The deed is done. Win or lose, the adult with ADHD misses the conflict, the high stimulus, and feels depressed.

 Use “time-outs” as with children. When you are upset or overstimulated, take a time-out. Go away. Calm down.

Learn how to advocate for yourself. Adults with ADHD are so used to being criticized, they are often unnecessarily defensive in putting their own case forward. Learn to get off the defensive.

Avoid premature closure of a project, a conflict, a deal, or a conversation. Don’t “cut to the chase” too soon, even though you’re itching to.

Try to let the successful moment last and be remembered, become sustaining over time. You’ll have to consciously and deliberately train yourself to do this because you’ll just as soon forget.

 Remember that ADHD usually includes a tendency to overfocus or hyperfocus at times. This hyperfocusing can be used constructively or destructively. Be aware of its destructive use: a tendency to obsess or ruminate over some imagined problem without being able to let it go.

 Exercise vigorously and regularly. You should schedule this into your life and stick with it. Exercise is positively one of the best treatments for ADHD. It helps work off excess energy and aggression in a positive way, it allows for noise-reduction within the mind, it stimulates the hormonal and neurochemical system in a most therapeutic way, and it soothes and calms the body. When you add all that to the well-known health benefits of exercise, you can see how important exercise is. Make it something fun so you can stick with it over the long haul, i.e., the rest of your life.

Learn to joke with yourself and others about your various symptoms, from forgetfulness, to getting lost all the time, to being tactless or impulsive, whatever. If you can be relaxed about it all to have a sense of humor, others will forgive you much more.

Make a good choice in a significant other. Obviously this is good advice for anyone. But it is striking how the adult with ADHD can thrive or flounder depending on the choice of mate.

Schedule activities with friends. Adhere to these schedules faithfully. It is crucial for you to keep connected to other people.

Find and join groups where you are liked, appreciated, understood, enjoyed. Conversely, don’t stay too long where you aren’t understood or appreciated.

Pay compliments. Notice other people. In general, get social training, as from your coach.

Set social deadlines.

Being poor is the police busting into the apartment right next to yours.

Being poor is needing that 35-cent raise.

Being poor is your kid’s teacher assuming you don’t have any books in your home.

Being poor is crying when you drop the mac and cheese on the floor.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you’re not actually stupid.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you’re not actually lazy.

Being poor is a six-hour wait in an emergency room with a sick child asleep on your lap.

Being poor is getting tired of people wanting you to be grateful.

Being poor is deciding that it’s all right to base a relationship on shelter.

Being poor is feeling helpless when your child makes the same mistakes you did, and won’t listen to you beg them against doing so.

Being poor is knowing where the shelter is.

Being poor is people who have never been poor wondering why you choose to be so.

Being poor is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.

Being poor is seeing how few options you have.

Being poor is people wondering why you didn’t leave.

Being poor is staying with a man who beats your kids because you can’t afford to keep them out of foster care without his salary.

Being poor means making decisions like “is stealing food a sin” outside of an ethics class.

Being poor is realizing that heating and eating will probably be mutually exclusive this month.

Being poor is discovering that that letter from Duke University, naming you as one of three advanced students in your class invited to test out of HS early into their scholarship program, is just so much firestarter because the $300 it costs to take the test may as well be $3 million.

Despair is finally realizing, at nearly 36 and with a barely-afforded AA in English from a community college, just where you could have been by now had you had $300, and what that missed opportunity has truly cost you.

Being poor is understanding that the lowest, poorest, starvingest time of the month for anyone on public assistance is exactly when Katrina hit.

Being poor is taking a cash advance from the credit card–to pay the credit card minimum bill.

Being poor is trying to decide which one of you gets to eat today – the one of you that is pregnant or the one of you that can work.

Being poor is a sick, dreadful feeling of your stomach dropping out when the phone rings, because you know it’s a bill collector and you know you’ll pick it up anyway on a one in a million chance someone does want to hire you.

Being poor is laying down because it hurts to breathe and you are pregnant, but you can’t afford to go to the hospital.

Being poor is crying when $50 bill you didn’t expect gets taken from your paycheck.

Being poor means never forgeting that the bills aren’t paid.

Growing up poor is spending the rest of your life trying to escape (and never realizing that you have)

Being poor means looking at life in such a different way that most people can’t imagine it.

Being poor means being grateful that you’re living paycheck to paycheck.

Growing up poor means you feel guilty when you escape, because your siblings didn’t.

Being poor means saving the plastic containers and jars from yogurt or spaghetti sauce so you can take milk with you to school in your lunch after they lower the income limit for free lunches and your mom makes $3 more than the limit.

Being poor is choosing between the lesser of two evils and not realizing it.

Being poor is a motivator to never be as poor as your parents.

Being poor makes you appreciate everything you’ve earned.

Being poor gives you the ability to look at supporting your still poor mother as an honor not a burden.

Being poor is worrying that someday you will wake up, find yourself lying beneath a blanket in the back of that station wagon and realizing that your escape and rise was just a dream.

Being poor is a month with 28 spaghetti dinners, 2 invitations over to eat, and a day without.

Being poor is carrying your fiancee to the hospital to miscarry, then using their phone to call around for someone to take you back home, since there aren’t beds for Medicare patients.

Being poor is wondering what sort of fool drops a penny on the ground and doesn’t pick it up.

Being poor is wondering what to say when your friends ask you to join them for coffee in the campus coffee shop, and you can’t because you thought you had a couple bucks cash but you must have left it in your coat at home, and so you have to use all the change you dug up from under the seat for gas to get home after classes.

Being poor is pretending to any major, religion or career interest to get free pizza on campus.

Being poor means dreading getting a Christmas present from the Fireman’s Charity, because you’ll end up on TV and everybody at school will find out.

Being poor is wearing the same dress to school every day for four months, then getting “new” clothes from the church for Christmas and changing your clothes three times in one day because you can.

Being poor means not being able to take a better job because the shift ends are after the busses stop running, and you don’t feel safe walking the two miles home after dark.

Why is is so hard to remember poverty once you get past it, if you get past it? Why is it so hard to empathize with poverty if you have never had it? What the hell is wrong with us?

Being poor means learning firsthand the meaning of words like “eviction,” “garnishee,” “repossess,” and “transient motel.”

Being poor means paying a premium on food and goods at local stores that jack up prices for being in a poor neighborhood, or simply because they can.

Being poor means buying bread at the “day old store” even though it’s a lot older than one day.

Being poor means paying high prices for exprired meat at the bodega, because there isn’t a supermarket chain willing to open a store in your neighborhood.

Being poor means your 10 cent an hour raise is almost negated by the 25 cent increase in bus fare.

Being poor means watching your disabled child get worse and worse because you can’t afford the therapies.

Being poor means having your life gone over with a fine tooth comb to see if you’re bad enough to help.

Being poor is feeling ashamed when your ‘peers’ slam WalMart, and talk about buying organic, and the horrors of driving gass-guzzling cars, all while wondering why you repeatedly find ways to not join them at $15/plate social dinners.

Being poor is avoiding spending time with people you care about, because you don’t want to have to answer “how are you doing?”.

Being poor is having your best friend’s mother compliment her for hanging out with you–shows good moral fiber, don’t you know.

Being poor is having your mum scrimp and save to get you the latest “in” thing, just as it goes out of style. (But you wear it anyway, so she doesn’t feel bad, and then all the kids at school make fun of you.)

Being poor is being the family that everybody knows it’s okay to pick on.

Being poor is having your house egged and a firecracker tossed through your front door because some kid thought it was funny.

Being poor is losing your special lunch card and seeing the snotty kid across the street find it, chop it up with scissors, and return the pieces to you.

Being poor means going to a church school on a Pell grant and trying to get your associate degree in one year, because you know your sibs are close on your tail, and your family has barely enough money to send you.

Being poor takes time. Time to wait in line for the reduced-price clinic while gathering all your paperwork, and hoping you have it in order so you won’t be sent home to get one little slip of paperwork. Time to wait in line at the food bank, where people fight to get to the one box of expired Entemann’s first. Time that you spend walking back home or waiting beside your POS car because it broke down for the umpteenth time. Time that you spend at your minimum wage fast food job after hours because you really don’t want to go home, and the manager might just feed you.

Being poor means that if you pull yourself up and stop being ‘poor,’ you will still be struggling and behind, because a large chunk of your money will go toward cleaning up all the stopgaps, mistakes, and overcharges you accumulated when you were poor.

Being poor is everything gets washed by hand in the bathtub with the smallest amount of dollar-store detergent.

Being poor means choosing between a cup of coffee, a newspaper, or a load at the laundrymat. You can’t have all three, or even two of them. ever.

Being poor is everything must be mended, pinned, taped, glued or stapled for a little more use.

Being poor means two or three jobs, and never enough time, sleep, or money. never.

John, thanks for this. This is so spot-on it hurts. And I don’t have to do any of these things any more, but you really don’t ever forget what it’s like to do them.

Being poor is really, really pushing your two-year old during potty training, because diapers are really, really expensive.

Being poor means that you laugh hysterically when you watch the financial planning segments on the Today Show, because the thought of starting a college fund for your child is so far beyond the pale that if you don’t laugh, you’ll start to cry and you’ll never stop.

Being poor means that three years after you’re not poor anymore, you still know exactly what everything costs; you still feel like a dinner at Chili’s or even Wendy’s is a huge splurge; and you still feel like you can’t afford to buy a six dollar belt at Target. And you still buy ramen.

Being poor is obviously your fault, even though the biggest, fattest reason you had to file bankruptcy in the first place was because your husband frivolously got cancer while laid off. How silly of him! And then he couldn’t find a new job until he was done with treatment because oddly, employers are shy of hiring bald, vomiting people with IV ports taped into their arms.

Being poor is being horrified when you see a very young person from your area with an arm, neck, or hand tattoo, not because corporate America generally bans such things… but because fast-food and retail America does, too.

Being poor is being bumped by somebody carrying a Prada tote bag on your way to pick up your paycheck… and instantly realizing, without having to calculate, that in terms of actual cash value, the tote bag is worth far more than the paycheck.

Being poor means selling blood plasma and signing up for every medical experiment they’ll let you into, and breezing past the disclaimer form because, really, are you going to give up $100 just because you may be risking injury or death from whatever they’re giving you?

- Being poor is spending money you know you don’t have on a candybar because you need something to cheer yourself up enough to get out of bed.

Being poor is sleeping everyone to one bed so you’re a little bit warmer.

Being poor is having friends who’s parents won’t let them sleep over because you live in that part of town.

Being poor is not caring that starchy carbs are bad for you, rice and pasta are cheap, and it’s either that, or nothing at all.

Being poor is the lunchlady feeling bad for you so she sneaks you leftovers from after all the classes have eaten, for you to take home for dinner.

Being poor is learning to like skim milk because it’s a nickel cheaper than whole.

Being poor means your husband is working – when he can get work – at Labor Ready, and you’re at the food bank. Being poor means your husband is sharing his main meal of the day with someone who hasn’t eaten for three days.

Being poor is rejoicing the fact you miscarried

Being poor is becoming a stripper just to make the rent, and hating yourself for it.

Being poor is washing up in public bathrooms and sampling fragrances at the department store so you don’t smell bad.

Being poor is sleeping in stairwells.

Being poor means mom and dad do not sit and eat dinner with you. They eat after the kids are done with what’s left. Dad’s dinner is wiping clean the bits from the frying pan with a piece of bread.(He still does that out of habit just like grandpa.)

Being poor is not having sex because you can’t afford birth control and you’re smart enough to not get pregnant

Being poor is rejoicing in the fact that after five years, the color of your expired vehicle tags has cycled back around, and there’s less of a chance of getting pulled over for your 2001 tags.

Being poor is counting your food money for the week and knowing you will have to walk the two miles to the grocery with three children under the age of six.

Being poor is hearing your daughter tell you twenty years later that she finally realized that ‘Mommy already ate, sweetie’ was a lie.

Being poor is not being able to afford to pursue the ex who owes you child support.

Being poor is having a judge give him custody because HE isn’t poor.

Being broke is making a meal and sitting the kids down at the table, and sipping a glass of watered down powedered milk while they eat.

Poor never seems to leave us completely. No matter what we do or have done, we will always be haunted by the tears and shame of poverty. The worst part: even if our kids escape, THEY REMEMBER forever. A legacy we’d rather not give.

Being poor is having someone tell you that if you own _____ (A car, a TV, a bed) then you really aren’t poor, & realizing they’re either stupid, or worse off than you

Being poor means a 4 hours of commuting for a 6 hour shift.

Being poor means putting a beloved pet to sleep because you can’t afford the vet bill.

Being formerly poor means that your never-poor spouse resents the hell out of the fact that you still give your mom and siblings money – money that could have gone to “our” family. It means your spouse never quite thinks of your family as her family too because the resentment is there.

Being poor is throwing up six times a day because you are pregnant and don’t have health care. Being poor means that you can’t even scrape together enough change to ride the bus to the neonatal clinic, and it’s the middle of summer and too far to walk. Being poor means pondering an abortion because you know everybody around you is equally strapped for cash, you only get one meal a day, and you don’t see that changing in the immediate future. Being poor means after much tears and thought, when you finally decide to have the abortion, you have to borrow the money to get it done. Being poor means that if you’d kept the baby, some rich people would accuse you of abusing the welfare system. Being poor means that by getting the abortion, some rich people accuse you of murder. Being poor means weeks of crying and hating yourself.

being poor is mom and dad being humiliated saturday and sunday to pay your failed attempt at the american dream, because first you’re not american, second you are not rich, third you are not america educated, and all those dollar-master slavering world wonderpeople can tell you, making fun, is: born in the wrong country pal, hahaha.

being poor is working hard and never had worked enough.

Being poor makes you appreciate the value of free napkins, plastic food utensils, matches, condiment packages, plastic bags, or any other giveaway item of use in the home.

Being poor means never having leftovers.

FYI: Nick Mamatas has a few additions to the list (from an international perspective) here.

pictruandtru: you, more than anyone else here, need to read John’s article over and over again, until you get it. It was you he wrote it for. Being poor is people wondering why you didn’t leave.

Being poor (or having been poor) means you know that if there is a devistating economic crisis, you will know how to survive when those who never were poor are paralized with fear. Being poor is knowing you are strong and resourceful.

As a born-and-bred welfare kid raised by TV and cheap supermarket off-brands, I see my mother in many of these statements. She worked so hard to raise herself out of crushing poverty, with little or no useful help from the government or well-meaning “liberals” with social-science degrees that I can only shake my head and wonder how it was I got out of the poverty trap at all. I think I was just lucky. I also happen to be white and male, and I’m reasonably sure in today’s world this is a certain advantage.

Being poor means that someone who has never been poor will never really understand what it’s like.

Being poor means you no longer have to fill out the forms at the ‘payday loan store’ because they have your information memorized.

I joined the military so they would fix my teeth. I brushed everyday. And flossed. But never had dental insurance. Only got cleanings maybe once in my childhood.

The point is when something goes wrong, for whatever reason, being poor means your options are limited, and what options you have are often likely to cause you pain.

When you’re middle-class or well-off, you can absorb a certain amount of the crap life throws at you. When you’re poor, you really can’t.

Being poor means understanding that Internet flamewars are a tragic waste of time better used bettering yourself. Use that time and effort to build yourself up rather than tear a stranger down- you’ll feel better afterward.

Being poor means being stuck around people who want you to continue to be poor.

Being poor means not being able to take advantage of all the really great sales that come along — because they only seem to happen when you don’t have the money in hand.

Being poor is having the grocery store checker give you dirty looks and make comments to the next customer about “my tax dollars being wasted” when you use food stamps to buy a day-old cake on sale and a package of birthday candles for your child. Being poor is being overwhelmingly grateful that the next person in line says to the checker, “I can’t think of a better use for my tax dollars than to pay for a poor child to have a birthday, you heartless prick.”

I still use tea-bags twice. I won’t eat ramen, because I ate far too much for too long. I consider myself well-off because I have a lot of books and I never skip a meal. I know exactly how much things cost, and shop at two supermarkets because one has cheaper prices on produce and meat, and the other has cheaper canned goods. And I know the usual price of everything I buy on a regular basis, so I know whether the “sale” price is really a good deal. And when it is, I stock up, just in case.

I worked for a bank for a while after finishing my bachelor’s degree, and here’s what I learned: Being poor means the bank doesn’t want you as a customer. Being poor means you will pay the highest fees for every service. Being poor means you will pay the highest interest on any loan. On the other hand– Being rich means all service charges will be waived on your accounts, because you’re a preferred customer. Being rich means never waiting in line, because the bank manager greets you when you come in and takes you to a customer service representative who handles your transactions.

Being poor is knowing how to sew.

Being poor is having a lower Social Security number than your classmates in high school, because you had to get one young to get welfare.

Being poor is finding prostitution a valid way to pay the electrical bill, and then lying to your spouse about where the money came from.

Being poor is exploding at the old lady who has taken all the 20c bread at the day-old store to feed to the fraggin’ SQUIRRELS.

Being less poor is living close enough to work and the store and the library to walk and NOT have to buy gas.

Being less poor is 10c for a packet of seeds that produces zucchini in your yard all summer.

I tell you this not to display my saintliness, but to put into perspective a conversation I have not infrequently with other members of my profession: ME: …no, I’m really tense about this case. If we lose, Mrs. Smith and her nephew have nowhere to go. She’s on a fixed income. What if I screw up and it costs them their apartment? OTHER LAWYER: Wow. Well, it could be worse. I mean, what if it were a big commercial-litigation case, and you screwed THAT up, and lost twenty million dollars for the client? At least the pro bono cases are over, what, five hundred dollars or something? (Pop Quiz: do you think the Other Lawyers who make such remarks have ever been poor?)

Being poor means you don’t count (unless you are pretty).

Being poor is never looking down on a man begging for change, mainly because you have seriously considered doing it.

Being poor is having the luck and luxury of growing up rich and having no resources whatsoever when you are tossed out of your parents house with no money for “the gay thing” because it’s an embarrasment to daddy and his ilk.

Being poor is making the rent and bills by six dollars and not having any left over for grocery shopping that week because that six dollars is for gas to get to work.

Being rich to poor means your parents make too damn much for you to get student loans so you have no way of getting any help, whatsoever.

Being rich to poor means that you can’t fathom how your family of two that you no longer live with lives in a 5500 square foot house.

Being rich to poor is your dad telling you it’s strange you don’t have a car, when you are paying for college on your own and he has just bought your younger, non-gay sibling, a BMW.

Being rich to poor is when your father visits your new apartment – the one you’re making it all on your own in – and tells you to move because you’re living “in a ghetto” as he drives home in his Mercedes.

Being poor means burning in shame because this is the most you could afford and you spent hours cleaning before he arrived.

Being rich to poor is being too ashamed to leave my name on this.

And being poor means you will probably be punished because you *did* leave

Being poor means teaching yourself to not notice feeling hungry.

Being poor means people making fun of your weight and calling you “anorexic” when you’ve been unable to have more than one meal a day.

Being poor is knowing you’re always under a microscope: Human Services, Housing Assistance, Social Security…but also, your friends, your family, and strangers who seem to think you’re lazy, unmotivated, or stupid for being in the situation you’re in.

Being poor is scraping enough money to go home to your family for Christmas and not having any gifts for them.

Being poor is using your stamps to buy pints of milk in glass bottles, then sitting outside of the supermarket, drinking the milk, rinsing out the bottle, and trading it in for a dollar cash so you can afford the co-pay on your prescriptions.

Being poor is never being able to afford to see a doctor for monthly cramps so bad they make you miss work; spending month after month for years hoping they just go away; and then finally getting seen and told you’re going to be infertile for the rest of your life, and that you could have avoided this had you come in sooner.

Being poor is sitting on a dusty brick sidewalk with a cheap recorder and a Goodwill hat, enduring snotty yuppie tourists, high school boys who make innuendos or say “get a day job”, police officers saying “You’re not doing anything illegal, but…”, and threats of physical violence from drunks, all in the hopes that someone will deign to put a dollar in.

Being poor is realizing that you will do just about anything necessary to feed your kids, including giving a blow job to a guy for $10.

Fifteen years ago, when I started in at a school, the packed that home room teachers got contained for each kid on opening day: 1 schedule, 1 emergency info form, 1 student handbook, 1 athletic dept. handbook 1 insurance form (AD&D plus emergency med. for school-related activities) and for a class of 20, three or four free/reduced lunch forms. You were supposed to give these to the students who asked for them, and get more if they weren’t enough. No one understood why I threw a hissy fit and made sure that there was one form per kid, just like all the other paperwork. Sometimes things do get slightly better. We now have cafeteria swipe cards, and the free kids and paying kids both just swipe their cards. The difference is that the paying kids have to top off their card balances with cash periodically.

Being rich to poor is your father casually talking about a utility bill that is the cost of your rent.

Being rich to poor is your father casually talking about half your years wages that he made in a week’s time.

Poor is living next to a crack house, being on a first name basis with the local prostitute, having murder weapons tossed in your back yard, and running from gangs.

Living in a house that’s literally falling apart. I used to get snow in my bedroom and water during thunderstorms.

By Katrina standards, however, my family was rich. We would’ve been able to evacuate. We had credit cards and family that would’ve helped us.

America, the land of opportunity, so long as you aren’t poor.

Being poor is hoping your bike doesnt break during your one hour cycle to work.

Being poor is walking for 3 hours to get to work because your bike broke.

Being poor is coming up with a different excuse every day why your not going to lunch (& dont eat any).

Being poor is thinking about the man who propositioned you while you were walking home some time back, and wondering just what he wanted to do to you or have you do to him, and how much he might be willing to pay for that.

Being poor is eating government commodity white rice with salt and pepper from packets that you kept from the last time you had fast food, and telling yourself that you actually prefer it that way.

Being poor is thinking of job benefits not in terms of health care, vacation, or retirement plans, but in terms of leftover or past-expiration-date food.

Being poor is being furious at the job interviewer who tells you that they won’t give you the nine-to-five office job because they don’t think that you can “adjust” from scrubbing out toilets on the graveyard shift.

Being poor is being furious at the manager of your rooming house for throwing away your bicycle because it was in such bad shape that he thought it had been abandoned there; surely no one would actually ride that thing.

Being poor is when people tell you that they think that you’re wasting your time and effort trying to get a better job, and they think that they’re doing you a favor.

Having been poor is weeping with joy and gratitude when you can afford an apartment with a kitchen and a bathroom of your own.

Having been poor is being amazed when you make it to the next paycheck with ten dollars in your bank account from the last one.

Having been poor is reading about thousands of people who used to have the comfortable middle-class existence that you have now, and have suddenly fallen through the cracks just as you once did, and really understanding for the first time what Satchel Paige said: “Don’t look back–something might be gaining on you.”

Being poor is not having eyeglasses until age 13 when you have needed them since age 4 and your grasp of the basics, like mathmatics, is without foundation, thereby closing the glorious door of science forever

Being poor is at age 14, using your entire first real paycheck to buy clothing for your younger siblings

Being poor is from age 14 on walking home three miles in the dark everyday after working after school because your family can’t survive without your paycheck

Being poor is making absolutely sure that you serve yourself last at all meals so that the younger kids can get their full share and so that you can be sure that your Mother gets to eat something as well

Being poor is watching your Mother die a slow agonizing death from cancer at home because your state doesn’t provide nursing home or hospice care for the indigent patient.

Being poor is not being able to escape watching your Mother die for even a minute because you don’t have a TV or a car or the price of a matinee movie ticket. Or money to hire someone to watch the young kids you are now responsible for.

Being poor is having, at age 18, to bath and clean your mother like an infant because the cancer has robbed her of her arms

Being poor is something you are inside forever.

Being poor, is having to share a bed with your three sisters in a house thats covered by tin and hoping it doesnt rain.

Being poor is being scared to take out the trash for fear of rats in the alley.

Being poor is hoping there’s not another drought so you have food to eat from the farm.

Being poor is rushing home so you can do your homework before nightime comes so you dont have to do it by candlelight instead.

Being poor is taking 5 years to finish high school because you have to work to pay for your private schooling.

Being poor is waking up your four year old at 3:30 in the morning to catch the bus in time to drop her at a seedy daycare, then make it to work on time.

Being poor is using your child’s piggy bank of dimes and nickels to pay for the ridiculous gas prices when you finally afford that car.

Being poor is walking up to your mom when you’re four, holding a toy and prefacing your request to buy it with “When you have money…”

Being poor is when your dinner consists of juice boxes because that’s all there is.

Being poor is being beat around by a baby-sitter you keep going to b/c they’re free

Being poor means learning by 7 that one meal a day is decent and real hunger doesn’t hit until at least the second day

Being poor is people asking you why you bothered to pick up that nickel on the ground

Being poor is never being liked by your friends’ parents because they think you must be a bad influence because you’re poor

Being poor is being bounced back and forth between different households who don’t really want you because your parents can’t afford to keep you.

Being poor means that holidays are no different than any other day: your mom is still working and there’s still no food in the house.

this is “being poor in one of the richest countries in the world”, being really poor is exactly like this, only much, much worse. Except perhaps without the status envy. Being really poor is walking 6 hours through the african night to the only hospital carrying your dead child, because you’ve heard the people there can bring the dead back to life. I’m not trumping your moving and honest writing. It just amazes me how humans are never happy, no matter what we have, if others have more.

this is “being poor in one of the richest countries in the world”, being really poor is exactly like this, only much, much worse. Except perhaps without the status envy. Being really poor is walking 6 hours through the african night to the only hospital carrying your dead child, because you’ve heard the people there can bring the dead back to life. I’m not trumping your moving and honest writing. It just amazes me how humans are never happy, no matter what we have, if others have more.

What’s the problem with me saying that there’s a difference between not having funds, and living like white trash? Because you’re ignoring reality in a desperate need to find somebody to step on–oh yes, we may have been poor, but we weren’t white trash, you see. And it’s a very handy way to see oneself as permanently beyond the reach of all those horrors of poverty: People stay poor because they are bad; I am good; therefore I will never be poor again. Your “brush your teeth” comment is a good example of this kind of magical thinking. The notion that people might have dental problems despite being diligent about dental hygiene is not one you can entertain, because that would deflate the whole “poor people deserve it” argument. (And, of course, it all rests on the fallacy that all poor people are adults.) Instead of focusing on self pity and hopelessness, I think it’s a lot better focus on what can be done to fix what’s broken. As somebody who didn’t grow up poor, Brian, let me give you a big suggestion as to one of those things that can be done, and it’s not telling poor people to shut up and work harder. It’s extending the same safety net, social support and benefit of the doubt we give wealthy people that we give to poor people. Believe you me, it’s quite an eye-opener to find out that things you took for granted when you were a kid–you know, like the cops showing up when someone calls 911, or having a functioning lab in your science class–were not available to everyone.

Being poor means not having a working stove, good pots and pans or decent food to eat and having to skip a meal or two a day.

Being poor means no asthma treatment and gasping for air in Emergency Rooms praying to stay alive where you know youll be getting thousands of dollars in bills you wont be able to pay.

Being poor means being looked at with a mixture of disgust and pity by so called “loved ones” who shop for recreation who have endless money to waste.

Being poor can lead you to depend on God, because there is no one else that is going to help you. I am a Christian today because of the poverty I faced.

Being poor makes you realize what a sick and shallow society we live in.

people seem take out of this list what they put into it. You seem to want make this list examples of how people can’t, don’t or won’t help themselves. Interestingly, this is one of the reasons I put this one in the list: Being poor is knowing you’re being judged.

being poor means wondering if the lights will come back on

Being poor is one meal a day, if that.

Being poor is worrying about appendicitis every time you ovulate.

Being poor means always the library, never the book store.

being poor is feeling all the eyes judging you, measuring you, and coming to the conclusion that you don’t belong; when all you want is to be away in the comfortable place you don’t have.

being poor is being exploited by rich people while you smile, not to be fired.

being poor is paying a debt to the rich for being born in their world.

The problem is people who aren’t poor or who have never been poor often don’t grasp why it’s difficult to escape poverty — you can do everything right in terms of trying to improve your life situation (and there are many people who are poor do), and yet just one thing going wrong can mess the whole thing up.

He picked up the lemons that Fate had sent him and started a lemonade-stand. Hubbard, Elbert (1922). Selected Writings of Elbert Hubbard. V. Wm. H. Wise & Co./The Roycrofters. p. 237. Often quoted as "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade"

If you want work well done, select a busy man ‚ the other kind has no time.

In these days, a man who says a thing cannot be done is quite apt to be interrupted by some idiot doing it.

I AM an Anarchist. All good men are Anarchists. All cultured, kindly men; all gentlemen; all just men are Anarchists. Jesus was an Anarchist.

An Anarchist is one who minds his own business. An Anarchist does not believe in sending warships across wide oceans to kill brown men, and lay waste rice fields, and burn the homes of people who are fighting for liberty. An Anarchist does not drive women with babes at their breasts and other women with babes unborn, children and old men into the jungle to be devoured by beasts or fever or fear, or die of hunger, homeless, unhouseled and undone. Destruction, violence, ravages, murder, are perpetrated by statute law. .

No man who believes in force and violence is an Anarchist. The true Anarchist decries all influences save those of love and reason. Ideas are his only arms.

Being an Anarchist I am also a Socialist. Socialism is the antithesis of Anarchy. One is the North Pole of Truth, the other the South

If there is any better way to teach virtue than by practicing it, I do not know it.

Good people are only half as good, and bad people only half as bad, as other people regard them

If you err it is not for me to punish you. We are punished by our sins not for them.

It is only life and love that give love and life.

To supply a thought is mental massage; but to evolve a thought of your own is an achievement. Thinking is a brain exercise — and no faculty grows save as it is exercised.

Do not go out of your way to do good whenever it comes your way. Men who make a business of doing good to others are apt to hate others in the same occupation. Simply be filled with the thought of good, and it will radiate — you do not have to bother about it, any more than you need trouble about your digestion.

Academic education is the act of memorizing things read in books, and things told by college professors who got their education mostly by memorizing things read in books.

A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist.

Making men live in three worlds at once — past, present and future has been the chief harm organized religion has done.

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.

The way to learn to earn a living is to go at it and earn a living.

Woman's inaptitude for reasoning has not prevented her from arriving at truth; nor has man's ability to reason prevented him from floundering in absurdity.

Do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing, and you'll never be criticized.

They did not move very far away from where they originally stood. As I moved to the other side of the ship, in preparation for a jump when the right moment came, I called to him, "What are you going to do?" and he just shook his head, while Mrs. Hubbard smiled and said, "There does not seem to be anything to do." The expression seemed to produce action on the part of your father, for then he did one of the most dramatic things I ever saw done. He simply turned with Mrs. Hubbard and entered a room on the top deck, the door of which was open, and closed it behind him. It was apparent that his idea was that they should die together, and not risk being parted on going into the water.

While teachers cannot change much of what is thrown at them, they can change their own attitudes towards these challenges.

When your workday is done, you need to leave the stresses of it and the rest of your life behind, even if only for fifteen minutes. Relaxation and meditation can rejuvenate the body and the spirit.

laughter often is the best medicine. The natural endorphins that are released while laughing help bring us relief from the stresses of the world.

Burnout can often be caused by getting caught in a rut. While on the Internet, search for new lessons or materials to help you teach an upcoming topic. Outside of school, find something that you've always wanted to try but haven't done yet.

try not to bring home work every night. You might want to consider going into school early so that you can complete your paperwork.

everyone needs a good night's sleep to function properly the next day. I know that I personally need at least seven hours to be productive the next day. Figure this number out for yourself and make a date with your bed each night. Your body will thank you!

stay away from those who are disgruntled. Instead, find someone who has a positive outlook on life and talk about teaching with them.

How do we make basic decisions about our lives – like where we live, go to school, travel, vote or work? Are those our decisions? Or do we follow the tracks of others?

It is good to remember that we are all always learning. And it is always more fun to learn together. We can learn as much from the past as from the present. And we can learn as much from using and stretching our imaginations as from studying our textbooks.

6. Revise and rewrite your poems  If it doesn't sound very good right after it's done that's alright, just give it some time. Focus on writing other poems and come back to revise this one after a while, you'll have a different perspective after you took a brake from it. It'll help you see the bigger picture.

5. Read your poems out loud  I know it sounds like no big deal but trust me it makes a difference.

4. Read/watch as many spoken word/poems as possible Pay attention to what suits you better, which artists do you like most and why. Understand it and go in that direction. For example if you like an artists that always has funny poems you may be prone to write funny poems, it's likely they'll make you feel more comfortable. You can always experience other types of poems if you want to!

7. Use your imagination. That's what I love most about artists, they CREATE their world however they want it to be, and they can drag you into their stories faster than you can even realize it. So use your imagination, create whatever you wish and do your best to convince the audience (even if the audience is just you or a couple of friends of yours.) that world you're writing really exists. 

8. Spoken word doesn't have to rhyme So don't struggle to find rhymes. But, if you have a good rhyme in mind. don't hesitate! Make it part of your poetry, find your flow.

9. Make a special notebook for poetry writing. I bought my poetry notebook just because I liked the cover of it. Every time I pull it out of my bag it makes me smile. Also one more thing I did was to write quotes from my best poems on colored post it notes and stick them on the first page of the notebook. That way every time I open the notebook to write I can read pieces of my best creations and feel proud. It really boosts up your morale. 

10. Be honest with yourself If something hurt you and it still does let it out, don't back from your thoughts and feelings. If you worry your poem will be too cheesy or too sad, stop worrying! just let it be. Acknowledge the fact that those thoughts were haunting your brain for some time now. Get to know them and set them free...and what better way is there to set thoughts free than by poetry?

11.  Write as often as possible And this is, the most important thing of all. Write constantly, even if you have just one or two sentences in mind, just write them down. Also, carry the notebook with you all the time. You never know when something will trigger the inspiration in you.

Borrowing The majority of the words used in modern English have been borrowed from other languages. Although most of our vocabulary comes from Latin and Greek (often by way of other European languages), English has borrowed words from more than 300 different languages around the world.

Clipping or Shortening Some new words are simply shortened forms of existing words

Neologisms or Creative Coinages Now and then, new products or processes inspire the creation of entirely new words.

Blends A blend (also called a portmanteau word) is a word formed by merging the sounds and meanings of two or more other words.

Conversion or Functional Shift New words are often formed by changing an existing word from one part of speech to another

Transfer of Proper Nouns Sometimes the names of people, places, and things become generalized vocabulary words.

Compounding A new word may also be created by combining two or more existing words

Imitation of Sounds Words are also created by onomatopoeia, naming things by imitating the sounds that are associated with them

If a word's etymology is not the same as its definition, why should we care at all about word histories? Well, for one thing, understanding how words have developed can teach us a great deal about our cultural history. In addition, studying the histories of familiar words can help us to deduce the meanings of unfamiliar words, thereby enriching our vocabularies. Finally, word stories are often both entertaining and thought provoking.

  The Blind Side inspired me to take risks for others by haleybopc8 (Don’t take life for granted)

    The Blind Side Encouraged Me Never to Give Up by abcdefgh (Don’t let previous failure stop you from achieving your dreams)

Cyberbully taught me to use my words wisely, not to harm by tonirene (Help save a life by being kind to the bullied)

The message in Cyberbully opened my eyes to the harmful actions of others by delaneysue (Don’t bully anyone—ever)

  Every Child is Special made me cry for seeing a smile on a child that I hugged today by Roselle (Children with disabilities deserve to be loved and encouraged)

The Fabulous Destiny of Amelie Poulain pushed me outside my comfort zone by Hatman (This teen identified strongly with a foreign film’s protagonist)

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off by Cassie (Stay in school)

Forrest Gump Inspired Me by Jbaeza (Being unique is not a bad thing)

The Lorax let me think about how a world would be without trees by Lizzy (We must protect the environment before it breaks down)

Mean Girls showed me that happiness and social status are not directly proportional by cossshmo (Popularity is not important)

Pay It Forward: The Start of My Passion to Give Back by Kaleilei (It is important to give back to the community—stand up for bullied, donate your time and money, among other things)

Pay It Forward showed me how our decisions affect others by otto5 (Think about every decision you make)

Pay It Forward made me realize the ultimate impact of a random act of kindness by hflanagan17 (An act of kindness can change the world)

The Pursuit of Happyness Encouraged Me to Persevere by sampsoncaitlyn (With determination, you can achieve any goal)

Taare Zameen Par taught me the importance of volunteerism by Asmaan (The protagonist’s struggle with learning made this teen more sensitive to others’ needs)