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Being poor is the police busting into the apartment right next to yours.

Being poor is needing that 35-cent raise.

Being poor is your kid’s teacher assuming you don’t have any books in your home.

Being poor is crying when you drop the mac and cheese on the floor.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you’re not actually stupid.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you’re not actually lazy.

Being poor is a six-hour wait in an emergency room with a sick child asleep on your lap.

Being poor is getting tired of people wanting you to be grateful.

Being poor is deciding that it’s all right to base a relationship on shelter.

Being poor is feeling helpless when your child makes the same mistakes you did, and won’t listen to you beg them against doing so.

Being poor is knowing where the shelter is.

Being poor is people who have never been poor wondering why you choose to be so.

Being poor is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.

Being poor is seeing how few options you have.

Being poor is people wondering why you didn’t leave.

Being poor is staying with a man who beats your kids because you can’t afford to keep them out of foster care without his salary.

Being poor means making decisions like “is stealing food a sin” outside of an ethics class.

Being poor is realizing that heating and eating will probably be mutually exclusive this month.

Being poor is discovering that that letter from Duke University, naming you as one of three advanced students in your class invited to test out of HS early into their scholarship program, is just so much firestarter because the $300 it costs to take the test may as well be $3 million.

Despair is finally realizing, at nearly 36 and with a barely-afforded AA in English from a community college, just where you could have been by now had you had $300, and what that missed opportunity has truly cost you.

Being poor is understanding that the lowest, poorest, starvingest time of the month for anyone on public assistance is exactly when Katrina hit.

Being poor is taking a cash advance from the credit card–to pay the credit card minimum bill.

Being poor is trying to decide which one of you gets to eat today – the one of you that is pregnant or the one of you that can work.

Being poor is a sick, dreadful feeling of your stomach dropping out when the phone rings, because you know it’s a bill collector and you know you’ll pick it up anyway on a one in a million chance someone does want to hire you.

Being poor is laying down because it hurts to breathe and you are pregnant, but you can’t afford to go to the hospital.

Being poor is crying when $50 bill you didn’t expect gets taken from your paycheck.

Being poor means never forgeting that the bills aren’t paid.

Growing up poor is spending the rest of your life trying to escape (and never realizing that you have)

Being poor means looking at life in such a different way that most people can’t imagine it.

Being poor means being grateful that you’re living paycheck to paycheck.

Growing up poor means you feel guilty when you escape, because your siblings didn’t.

Being poor means saving the plastic containers and jars from yogurt or spaghetti sauce so you can take milk with you to school in your lunch after they lower the income limit for free lunches and your mom makes $3 more than the limit.

Being poor is choosing between the lesser of two evils and not realizing it.

Being poor is a motivator to never be as poor as your parents.

Being poor makes you appreciate everything you’ve earned.

Being poor gives you the ability to look at supporting your still poor mother as an honor not a burden.

Being poor is worrying that someday you will wake up, find yourself lying beneath a blanket in the back of that station wagon and realizing that your escape and rise was just a dream.

Being poor is a month with 28 spaghetti dinners, 2 invitations over to eat, and a day without.

Being poor is carrying your fiancee to the hospital to miscarry, then using their phone to call around for someone to take you back home, since there aren’t beds for Medicare patients.

Being poor is wondering what sort of fool drops a penny on the ground and doesn’t pick it up.

Being poor is wondering what to say when your friends ask you to join them for coffee in the campus coffee shop, and you can’t because you thought you had a couple bucks cash but you must have left it in your coat at home, and so you have to use all the change you dug up from under the seat for gas to get home after classes.

Being poor is pretending to any major, religion or career interest to get free pizza on campus.

Being poor means dreading getting a Christmas present from the Fireman’s Charity, because you’ll end up on TV and everybody at school will find out.

Being poor is wearing the same dress to school every day for four months, then getting “new” clothes from the church for Christmas and changing your clothes three times in one day because you can.

Being poor means not being able to take a better job because the shift ends are after the busses stop running, and you don’t feel safe walking the two miles home after dark.

Why is is so hard to remember poverty once you get past it, if you get past it? Why is it so hard to empathize with poverty if you have never had it? What the hell is wrong with us?

Being poor means learning firsthand the meaning of words like “eviction,” “garnishee,” “repossess,” and “transient motel.”

Being poor means paying a premium on food and goods at local stores that jack up prices for being in a poor neighborhood, or simply because they can.

Being poor means buying bread at the “day old store” even though it’s a lot older than one day.

Being poor means paying high prices for exprired meat at the bodega, because there isn’t a supermarket chain willing to open a store in your neighborhood.

Being poor means your 10 cent an hour raise is almost negated by the 25 cent increase in bus fare.

Being poor means watching your disabled child get worse and worse because you can’t afford the therapies.

Being poor means having your life gone over with a fine tooth comb to see if you’re bad enough to help.

Being poor is feeling ashamed when your ‘peers’ slam WalMart, and talk about buying organic, and the horrors of driving gass-guzzling cars, all while wondering why you repeatedly find ways to not join them at $15/plate social dinners.

Being poor is avoiding spending time with people you care about, because you don’t want to have to answer “how are you doing?”.

Being poor is having your best friend’s mother compliment her for hanging out with you–shows good moral fiber, don’t you know.

Being poor is having your mum scrimp and save to get you the latest “in” thing, just as it goes out of style. (But you wear it anyway, so she doesn’t feel bad, and then all the kids at school make fun of you.)

Being poor is being the family that everybody knows it’s okay to pick on.

Being poor is having your house egged and a firecracker tossed through your front door because some kid thought it was funny.

Being poor is losing your special lunch card and seeing the snotty kid across the street find it, chop it up with scissors, and return the pieces to you.

Being poor means going to a church school on a Pell grant and trying to get your associate degree in one year, because you know your sibs are close on your tail, and your family has barely enough money to send you.

Being poor takes time. Time to wait in line for the reduced-price clinic while gathering all your paperwork, and hoping you have it in order so you won’t be sent home to get one little slip of paperwork. Time to wait in line at the food bank, where people fight to get to the one box of expired Entemann’s first. Time that you spend walking back home or waiting beside your POS car because it broke down for the umpteenth time. Time that you spend at your minimum wage fast food job after hours because you really don’t want to go home, and the manager might just feed you.

Being poor means that if you pull yourself up and stop being ‘poor,’ you will still be struggling and behind, because a large chunk of your money will go toward cleaning up all the stopgaps, mistakes, and overcharges you accumulated when you were poor.

Being poor is everything gets washed by hand in the bathtub with the smallest amount of dollar-store detergent.

Being poor means choosing between a cup of coffee, a newspaper, or a load at the laundrymat. You can’t have all three, or even two of them. ever.

Being poor is everything must be mended, pinned, taped, glued or stapled for a little more use.

Being poor means two or three jobs, and never enough time, sleep, or money. never.

John, thanks for this. This is so spot-on it hurts. And I don’t have to do any of these things any more, but you really don’t ever forget what it’s like to do them.

Being poor is really, really pushing your two-year old during potty training, because diapers are really, really expensive.

Being poor means that you laugh hysterically when you watch the financial planning segments on the Today Show, because the thought of starting a college fund for your child is so far beyond the pale that if you don’t laugh, you’ll start to cry and you’ll never stop.

Being poor means that three years after you’re not poor anymore, you still know exactly what everything costs; you still feel like a dinner at Chili’s or even Wendy’s is a huge splurge; and you still feel like you can’t afford to buy a six dollar belt at Target. And you still buy ramen.

Being poor is obviously your fault, even though the biggest, fattest reason you had to file bankruptcy in the first place was because your husband frivolously got cancer while laid off. How silly of him! And then he couldn’t find a new job until he was done with treatment because oddly, employers are shy of hiring bald, vomiting people with IV ports taped into their arms.

Being poor is being horrified when you see a very young person from your area with an arm, neck, or hand tattoo, not because corporate America generally bans such things… but because fast-food and retail America does, too.

Being poor is being bumped by somebody carrying a Prada tote bag on your way to pick up your paycheck… and instantly realizing, without having to calculate, that in terms of actual cash value, the tote bag is worth far more than the paycheck.

Being poor means selling blood plasma and signing up for every medical experiment they’ll let you into, and breezing past the disclaimer form because, really, are you going to give up $100 just because you may be risking injury or death from whatever they’re giving you?

- Being poor is spending money you know you don’t have on a candybar because you need something to cheer yourself up enough to get out of bed.

Being poor is sleeping everyone to one bed so you’re a little bit warmer.

Being poor is having friends who’s parents won’t let them sleep over because you live in that part of town.

Being poor is not caring that starchy carbs are bad for you, rice and pasta are cheap, and it’s either that, or nothing at all.

Being poor is the lunchlady feeling bad for you so she sneaks you leftovers from after all the classes have eaten, for you to take home for dinner.

Being poor is learning to like skim milk because it’s a nickel cheaper than whole.

Being poor means your husband is working – when he can get work – at Labor Ready, and you’re at the food bank. Being poor means your husband is sharing his main meal of the day with someone who hasn’t eaten for three days.

Being poor is rejoicing the fact you miscarried

Being poor is becoming a stripper just to make the rent, and hating yourself for it.

Being poor is washing up in public bathrooms and sampling fragrances at the department store so you don’t smell bad.

Being poor is sleeping in stairwells.

Being poor means mom and dad do not sit and eat dinner with you. They eat after the kids are done with what’s left. Dad’s dinner is wiping clean the bits from the frying pan with a piece of bread.(He still does that out of habit just like grandpa.)

Being poor is not having sex because you can’t afford birth control and you’re smart enough to not get pregnant

Being poor is rejoicing in the fact that after five years, the color of your expired vehicle tags has cycled back around, and there’s less of a chance of getting pulled over for your 2001 tags.

Being poor is counting your food money for the week and knowing you will have to walk the two miles to the grocery with three children under the age of six.

Being poor is hearing your daughter tell you twenty years later that she finally realized that ‘Mommy already ate, sweetie’ was a lie.

Being poor is not being able to afford to pursue the ex who owes you child support.

Being poor is having a judge give him custody because HE isn’t poor.

Being broke is making a meal and sitting the kids down at the table, and sipping a glass of watered down powedered milk while they eat.

Poor never seems to leave us completely. No matter what we do or have done, we will always be haunted by the tears and shame of poverty. The worst part: even if our kids escape, THEY REMEMBER forever. A legacy we’d rather not give.

Being poor is having someone tell you that if you own _____ (A car, a TV, a bed) then you really aren’t poor, & realizing they’re either stupid, or worse off than you

Being poor means a 4 hours of commuting for a 6 hour shift.

Being poor means putting a beloved pet to sleep because you can’t afford the vet bill.

Being formerly poor means that your never-poor spouse resents the hell out of the fact that you still give your mom and siblings money – money that could have gone to “our” family. It means your spouse never quite thinks of your family as her family too because the resentment is there.

Being poor is throwing up six times a day because you are pregnant and don’t have health care. Being poor means that you can’t even scrape together enough change to ride the bus to the neonatal clinic, and it’s the middle of summer and too far to walk. Being poor means pondering an abortion because you know everybody around you is equally strapped for cash, you only get one meal a day, and you don’t see that changing in the immediate future. Being poor means after much tears and thought, when you finally decide to have the abortion, you have to borrow the money to get it done. Being poor means that if you’d kept the baby, some rich people would accuse you of abusing the welfare system. Being poor means that by getting the abortion, some rich people accuse you of murder. Being poor means weeks of crying and hating yourself.

being poor is mom and dad being humiliated saturday and sunday to pay your failed attempt at the american dream, because first you’re not american, second you are not rich, third you are not america educated, and all those dollar-master slavering world wonderpeople can tell you, making fun, is: born in the wrong country pal, hahaha.

being poor is working hard and never had worked enough.

Being poor makes you appreciate the value of free napkins, plastic food utensils, matches, condiment packages, plastic bags, or any other giveaway item of use in the home.

Being poor means never having leftovers.

FYI: Nick Mamatas has a few additions to the list (from an international perspective) here.

pictruandtru: you, more than anyone else here, need to read John’s article over and over again, until you get it. It was you he wrote it for. Being poor is people wondering why you didn’t leave.

Being poor (or having been poor) means you know that if there is a devistating economic crisis, you will know how to survive when those who never were poor are paralized with fear. Being poor is knowing you are strong and resourceful.

As a born-and-bred welfare kid raised by TV and cheap supermarket off-brands, I see my mother in many of these statements. She worked so hard to raise herself out of crushing poverty, with little or no useful help from the government or well-meaning “liberals” with social-science degrees that I can only shake my head and wonder how it was I got out of the poverty trap at all. I think I was just lucky. I also happen to be white and male, and I’m reasonably sure in today’s world this is a certain advantage.

Being poor means that someone who has never been poor will never really understand what it’s like.

Being poor means you no longer have to fill out the forms at the ‘payday loan store’ because they have your information memorized.

I joined the military so they would fix my teeth. I brushed everyday. And flossed. But never had dental insurance. Only got cleanings maybe once in my childhood.

The point is when something goes wrong, for whatever reason, being poor means your options are limited, and what options you have are often likely to cause you pain.

When you’re middle-class or well-off, you can absorb a certain amount of the crap life throws at you. When you’re poor, you really can’t.

Being poor means understanding that Internet flamewars are a tragic waste of time better used bettering yourself. Use that time and effort to build yourself up rather than tear a stranger down- you’ll feel better afterward.

Being poor means being stuck around people who want you to continue to be poor.

Being poor means not being able to take advantage of all the really great sales that come along — because they only seem to happen when you don’t have the money in hand.

Being poor is having the grocery store checker give you dirty looks and make comments to the next customer about “my tax dollars being wasted” when you use food stamps to buy a day-old cake on sale and a package of birthday candles for your child. Being poor is being overwhelmingly grateful that the next person in line says to the checker, “I can’t think of a better use for my tax dollars than to pay for a poor child to have a birthday, you heartless prick.”

I still use tea-bags twice. I won’t eat ramen, because I ate far too much for too long. I consider myself well-off because I have a lot of books and I never skip a meal. I know exactly how much things cost, and shop at two supermarkets because one has cheaper prices on produce and meat, and the other has cheaper canned goods. And I know the usual price of everything I buy on a regular basis, so I know whether the “sale” price is really a good deal. And when it is, I stock up, just in case.

I worked for a bank for a while after finishing my bachelor’s degree, and here’s what I learned: Being poor means the bank doesn’t want you as a customer. Being poor means you will pay the highest fees for every service. Being poor means you will pay the highest interest on any loan. On the other hand– Being rich means all service charges will be waived on your accounts, because you’re a preferred customer. Being rich means never waiting in line, because the bank manager greets you when you come in and takes you to a customer service representative who handles your transactions.

Being poor is knowing how to sew.

Being poor is having a lower Social Security number than your classmates in high school, because you had to get one young to get welfare.

Being poor is finding prostitution a valid way to pay the electrical bill, and then lying to your spouse about where the money came from.

Being poor is exploding at the old lady who has taken all the 20c bread at the day-old store to feed to the fraggin’ SQUIRRELS.

Being less poor is living close enough to work and the store and the library to walk and NOT have to buy gas.

Being less poor is 10c for a packet of seeds that produces zucchini in your yard all summer.

I tell you this not to display my saintliness, but to put into perspective a conversation I have not infrequently with other members of my profession: ME: …no, I’m really tense about this case. If we lose, Mrs. Smith and her nephew have nowhere to go. She’s on a fixed income. What if I screw up and it costs them their apartment? OTHER LAWYER: Wow. Well, it could be worse. I mean, what if it were a big commercial-litigation case, and you screwed THAT up, and lost twenty million dollars for the client? At least the pro bono cases are over, what, five hundred dollars or something? (Pop Quiz: do you think the Other Lawyers who make such remarks have ever been poor?)

Being poor means you don’t count (unless you are pretty).

Being poor is never looking down on a man begging for change, mainly because you have seriously considered doing it.

Being poor is having the luck and luxury of growing up rich and having no resources whatsoever when you are tossed out of your parents house with no money for “the gay thing” because it’s an embarrasment to daddy and his ilk.

Being poor is making the rent and bills by six dollars and not having any left over for grocery shopping that week because that six dollars is for gas to get to work.

Being rich to poor means your parents make too damn much for you to get student loans so you have no way of getting any help, whatsoever.

Being rich to poor means that you can’t fathom how your family of two that you no longer live with lives in a 5500 square foot house.

Being rich to poor is your dad telling you it’s strange you don’t have a car, when you are paying for college on your own and he has just bought your younger, non-gay sibling, a BMW.

Being rich to poor is when your father visits your new apartment – the one you’re making it all on your own in – and tells you to move because you’re living “in a ghetto” as he drives home in his Mercedes.

Being poor means burning in shame because this is the most you could afford and you spent hours cleaning before he arrived.

Being rich to poor is being too ashamed to leave my name on this.

And being poor means you will probably be punished because you *did* leave

Being poor means teaching yourself to not notice feeling hungry.

Being poor means people making fun of your weight and calling you “anorexic” when you’ve been unable to have more than one meal a day.

Being poor is knowing you’re always under a microscope: Human Services, Housing Assistance, Social Security…but also, your friends, your family, and strangers who seem to think you’re lazy, unmotivated, or stupid for being in the situation you’re in.

Being poor is scraping enough money to go home to your family for Christmas and not having any gifts for them.

Being poor is using your stamps to buy pints of milk in glass bottles, then sitting outside of the supermarket, drinking the milk, rinsing out the bottle, and trading it in for a dollar cash so you can afford the co-pay on your prescriptions.

Being poor is never being able to afford to see a doctor for monthly cramps so bad they make you miss work; spending month after month for years hoping they just go away; and then finally getting seen and told you’re going to be infertile for the rest of your life, and that you could have avoided this had you come in sooner.

Being poor is sitting on a dusty brick sidewalk with a cheap recorder and a Goodwill hat, enduring snotty yuppie tourists, high school boys who make innuendos or say “get a day job”, police officers saying “You’re not doing anything illegal, but…”, and threats of physical violence from drunks, all in the hopes that someone will deign to put a dollar in.

Being poor is realizing that you will do just about anything necessary to feed your kids, including giving a blow job to a guy for $10.

Fifteen years ago, when I started in at a school, the packed that home room teachers got contained for each kid on opening day: 1 schedule, 1 emergency info form, 1 student handbook, 1 athletic dept. handbook 1 insurance form (AD&D plus emergency med. for school-related activities) and for a class of 20, three or four free/reduced lunch forms. You were supposed to give these to the students who asked for them, and get more if they weren’t enough. No one understood why I threw a hissy fit and made sure that there was one form per kid, just like all the other paperwork. Sometimes things do get slightly better. We now have cafeteria swipe cards, and the free kids and paying kids both just swipe their cards. The difference is that the paying kids have to top off their card balances with cash periodically.

Being rich to poor is your father casually talking about a utility bill that is the cost of your rent.

Being rich to poor is your father casually talking about half your years wages that he made in a week’s time.

Poor is living next to a crack house, being on a first name basis with the local prostitute, having murder weapons tossed in your back yard, and running from gangs.

Living in a house that’s literally falling apart. I used to get snow in my bedroom and water during thunderstorms.

By Katrina standards, however, my family was rich. We would’ve been able to evacuate. We had credit cards and family that would’ve helped us.

America, the land of opportunity, so long as you aren’t poor.

Being poor is hoping your bike doesnt break during your one hour cycle to work.

Being poor is walking for 3 hours to get to work because your bike broke.

Being poor is coming up with a different excuse every day why your not going to lunch (& dont eat any).

Being poor is thinking about the man who propositioned you while you were walking home some time back, and wondering just what he wanted to do to you or have you do to him, and how much he might be willing to pay for that.

Being poor is eating government commodity white rice with salt and pepper from packets that you kept from the last time you had fast food, and telling yourself that you actually prefer it that way.

Being poor is thinking of job benefits not in terms of health care, vacation, or retirement plans, but in terms of leftover or past-expiration-date food.

Being poor is being furious at the job interviewer who tells you that they won’t give you the nine-to-five office job because they don’t think that you can “adjust” from scrubbing out toilets on the graveyard shift.

Being poor is being furious at the manager of your rooming house for throwing away your bicycle because it was in such bad shape that he thought it had been abandoned there; surely no one would actually ride that thing.

Being poor is when people tell you that they think that you’re wasting your time and effort trying to get a better job, and they think that they’re doing you a favor.

Having been poor is weeping with joy and gratitude when you can afford an apartment with a kitchen and a bathroom of your own.

Having been poor is being amazed when you make it to the next paycheck with ten dollars in your bank account from the last one.

Having been poor is reading about thousands of people who used to have the comfortable middle-class existence that you have now, and have suddenly fallen through the cracks just as you once did, and really understanding for the first time what Satchel Paige said: “Don’t look back–something might be gaining on you.”

Being poor is not having eyeglasses until age 13 when you have needed them since age 4 and your grasp of the basics, like mathmatics, is without foundation, thereby closing the glorious door of science forever

Being poor is at age 14, using your entire first real paycheck to buy clothing for your younger siblings

Being poor is from age 14 on walking home three miles in the dark everyday after working after school because your family can’t survive without your paycheck

Being poor is making absolutely sure that you serve yourself last at all meals so that the younger kids can get their full share and so that you can be sure that your Mother gets to eat something as well

Being poor is watching your Mother die a slow agonizing death from cancer at home because your state doesn’t provide nursing home or hospice care for the indigent patient.

Being poor is not being able to escape watching your Mother die for even a minute because you don’t have a TV or a car or the price of a matinee movie ticket. Or money to hire someone to watch the young kids you are now responsible for.

Being poor is having, at age 18, to bath and clean your mother like an infant because the cancer has robbed her of her arms

Being poor is something you are inside forever.

Being poor, is having to share a bed with your three sisters in a house thats covered by tin and hoping it doesnt rain.

Being poor is being scared to take out the trash for fear of rats in the alley.

Being poor is hoping there’s not another drought so you have food to eat from the farm.

Being poor is rushing home so you can do your homework before nightime comes so you dont have to do it by candlelight instead.

Being poor is taking 5 years to finish high school because you have to work to pay for your private schooling.

Being poor is waking up your four year old at 3:30 in the morning to catch the bus in time to drop her at a seedy daycare, then make it to work on time.

Being poor is using your child’s piggy bank of dimes and nickels to pay for the ridiculous gas prices when you finally afford that car.

Being poor is walking up to your mom when you’re four, holding a toy and prefacing your request to buy it with “When you have money…”

Being poor is when your dinner consists of juice boxes because that’s all there is.

Being poor is being beat around by a baby-sitter you keep going to b/c they’re free

Being poor means learning by 7 that one meal a day is decent and real hunger doesn’t hit until at least the second day

Being poor is people asking you why you bothered to pick up that nickel on the ground

Being poor is never being liked by your friends’ parents because they think you must be a bad influence because you’re poor

Being poor is being bounced back and forth between different households who don’t really want you because your parents can’t afford to keep you.

Being poor means that holidays are no different than any other day: your mom is still working and there’s still no food in the house.

this is “being poor in one of the richest countries in the world”, being really poor is exactly like this, only much, much worse. Except perhaps without the status envy. Being really poor is walking 6 hours through the african night to the only hospital carrying your dead child, because you’ve heard the people there can bring the dead back to life. I’m not trumping your moving and honest writing. It just amazes me how humans are never happy, no matter what we have, if others have more.

this is “being poor in one of the richest countries in the world”, being really poor is exactly like this, only much, much worse. Except perhaps without the status envy. Being really poor is walking 6 hours through the african night to the only hospital carrying your dead child, because you’ve heard the people there can bring the dead back to life. I’m not trumping your moving and honest writing. It just amazes me how humans are never happy, no matter what we have, if others have more.

What’s the problem with me saying that there’s a difference between not having funds, and living like white trash? Because you’re ignoring reality in a desperate need to find somebody to step on–oh yes, we may have been poor, but we weren’t white trash, you see. And it’s a very handy way to see oneself as permanently beyond the reach of all those horrors of poverty: People stay poor because they are bad; I am good; therefore I will never be poor again. Your “brush your teeth” comment is a good example of this kind of magical thinking. The notion that people might have dental problems despite being diligent about dental hygiene is not one you can entertain, because that would deflate the whole “poor people deserve it” argument. (And, of course, it all rests on the fallacy that all poor people are adults.) Instead of focusing on self pity and hopelessness, I think it’s a lot better focus on what can be done to fix what’s broken. As somebody who didn’t grow up poor, Brian, let me give you a big suggestion as to one of those things that can be done, and it’s not telling poor people to shut up and work harder. It’s extending the same safety net, social support and benefit of the doubt we give wealthy people that we give to poor people. Believe you me, it’s quite an eye-opener to find out that things you took for granted when you were a kid–you know, like the cops showing up when someone calls 911, or having a functioning lab in your science class–were not available to everyone.

Being poor means not having a working stove, good pots and pans or decent food to eat and having to skip a meal or two a day.

Being poor means no asthma treatment and gasping for air in Emergency Rooms praying to stay alive where you know youll be getting thousands of dollars in bills you wont be able to pay.

Being poor means being looked at with a mixture of disgust and pity by so called “loved ones” who shop for recreation who have endless money to waste.

Being poor can lead you to depend on God, because there is no one else that is going to help you. I am a Christian today because of the poverty I faced.

Being poor makes you realize what a sick and shallow society we live in.

people seem take out of this list what they put into it. You seem to want make this list examples of how people can’t, don’t or won’t help themselves. Interestingly, this is one of the reasons I put this one in the list: Being poor is knowing you’re being judged.

being poor means wondering if the lights will come back on

Being poor is one meal a day, if that.

Being poor is worrying about appendicitis every time you ovulate.

Being poor means always the library, never the book store.

being poor is feeling all the eyes judging you, measuring you, and coming to the conclusion that you don’t belong; when all you want is to be away in the comfortable place you don’t have.

being poor is being exploited by rich people while you smile, not to be fired.

being poor is paying a debt to the rich for being born in their world.

The problem is people who aren’t poor or who have never been poor often don’t grasp why it’s difficult to escape poverty — you can do everything right in terms of trying to improve your life situation (and there are many people who are poor do), and yet just one thing going wrong can mess the whole thing up.

hailamkiak 146p

ummNO 158p · 12 hours ago Exactly. How can universities teach such blatent behaviour, and they seem to condone it. When I help a person, it does not need to be an indian, malay or chinese. It cannot be based on race or religion. Yet, UiTM Melaka allows it's students to protest against intake of non-muslims. And the authorities and current govt adminstration does nothing. It's as though they condone such behaviour. It's not good for nation building. By their actions, they are making themselves to be exclusive to one race only.

Follow worried22 82p worried22 has not yet written a personal description. View IntenseDebate profile +40 Vote up Vote down worried22 82p · 8 hours ago An Indian student standing up and speaking about free education whereas most of the Malay students clapped in support of that Listen Listen lady when she asked her to leave the country if she is not happy with the government's policies. What an irony!

karulann 130p · 10 hours ago not every malaysia have the "privileged" of getting grants. Loans are just burdening the graduates. I say we MUST advocate for free education, regardless of anyone income or place of living, education should be free at any level. Let us stop with the speculation that Malaysia does not afford to provide free education, but now the BN goverment are able to dishes out billions of ringgit for the BR1M, and have "janji" to continue giving every year IF they win and probably MIGHT increase the amount to RM1000.. You do the calculation of how many billions is wasted just like that.. and you get how much? Give me free education instead of RM500 yearly

Malaysian 154p · 10 hours ago WHO WANT SAMSUNG GALAXY NOTE BOOK!!! What kind of forum is this.

Hobbesianism 166p · 11 hours ago We are not angry mind you. We're simply astounded at the fact that there are such people like Ms. Sharifah in what you called the one-sided, barisan friendly forum. In fact, its freaking funny! Is that how you respond to a question, i.e. if you don't like, get out, my education is better than yours, you cannot compare with others, must always listen to elders, animals also got problems? Haha! No wonder you are still sad.

ankmlysia 153p · 13 hours ago ‘All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing’

AaronID 156p · 12 hours ago What's even scarier than the dozens, if not hundreds, of these roadshows are the obvious fact so many, so young, are already too far into being brainwashed by BTN/BN! The video of Sharifah belittling and humiliating Bawani is made worse by the cheerleaders, cheering Sharifah, on! Poor kids...

VJK001 177p · 13 hours ago Why is Sharifah with one sided views allowed to mediate in Universities of Malaysia? No wonder our universities are going down in ranks compared to rest of the world. How can a mediator asked a fellow Malaysian to go to countries of her choice if she don't agree with policies in Malaysia? Imagine the other students clapping and supporting Sharifah! That shows the true strength of our Malaysians university students? The only one outstanding there is little Ambiga Bawani! Syabas Bawani..

Someone who is controlling his/her right margin must write more slowly.

people who keep their margins even all around are most interested in the visual effect. They actually see the paper as almost like a work of art. They are extremely appearance-conscious and interested in beauty, design, symmetry, order, and balance.

very detailed-minded, and, of course, to give up spontaneity in the process. Such people plan everything ahead to a great degree.

the person who has a very wide left margin is subconsciously putting up an imaginary barrier between himself and the past. This trait is almost always an indication of someone who’s had a terrible past from which he is eager to flee.

When you are moving to the right, you’re moving towards your goals and the future. When you stop too soon at the end of your lines, somewhere in your subconscious is a little voice saying, “Uh-oh. I have to stop. I have to return to the left, to the past and the familiar. This is as far as I can go.”

Writing with margins that are too wide all around is abnormal

. This sort of person needs to be protected by four solid walls. He cannot make it on his own. He doesn’t relate to his environment in a normal manner or fit into society in an average way. 

rapid and spontaneous writing. If you’re writing quickly and spontaneously, you will leave wider and wider left margins as you descend (down) the page.

a tendency to start out brave, going towards the future, but eventually retreating to the past and what is familiar.

Some people write all the way to the side on both the left and right, leaving no side margin whatsoever. This trait indicates one who leaves no room for other people. Such a person doesn’t see things from other people’s point of view

He takes up all the space and doesn’t see himself properly in relation to his environment, leaving no room for the rights and opinions of others. 

. The left margin represents “the line of society.” Thus, each time we return to the left, it’s up to us whether we’re going to align the next word, or we’re going to get “out of line.” That small percentage who do not have a straight left margin are those people who cannot conform to society’s standards. These are also people who, quite expectedly, would not do well in a strict nine-to-five job

With no margins, filling every inch of the paper, indicates someone who feels he must fill every waking moment of his life with an activity. It means compulsively busy, leaving no stone unturned. Very such people have miserly natures as well. This person also leaves no room for the rights or opinions of others

The lower you start, the more you tend to have formal, respectful feelings toward the person to whom you’re writing, such as a letters/papers to teachers, businesses…etc. You waste more paper to show respect, and you “lower” down on the paper. 

a narrow upper margin means you are feeling more familiar than formal toward the person to whom you are writing. By starting high on the paper, you don’t “bow down” or “lower yourself” to show respect.

writing until there was no room left - until the writing is crushed. This means someone who delays the inevitable. Such a person is so eager to express himself that he feels it would take too much time to turn the paper over or get another sheet. 

dangerous impulsiveness. People like this bash their heads into the wall and do it again and again - (They don’t learn from their mistakes.) They don’t have the sense to say it to themselves, “Hey, wait a minute. You know, the paper ends, and I have to accommodate.” They don’t say it because they don’t care or think about it

For over 30 years, Sula Wolff, in Edinburgh, has studied children of average or high ability who are impaired in their social interaction but who do not have the full picture of the triad of impairments

more than 50 years since Leo Kanner first described his classic autistic syndrome

The specific pattern of abnormal behaviour first described by Leo Kanner is also known as 'early infantile autism'. Kanner made no estimate of the possible numbers of people with this condition but he thought that it was rare (Kanner, 1943).

the clinical picture overlaps with Asperger syndrome to a large extent. However, these children represent the most subtle and most able end of the autism spectrum. The majority become independent as adults, many marry and some display exceptional gifts, though retaining the unusual quality of their social interactions

they often have a difficult time at school and they need recognition, understanding and acceptance from their parents and teachers. The approach that suits them best is the same as that which is recommended for children with Asperger syndrome and high-functioning autism.

2.64% was found in a study done in South Korea, where the researchers found two thirds of the ASD cases were in the mainstream school population, and had never been diagnosed before., (Kim et al, 2011).

The Department of Health then funded a project to build on the APMS study and look more closely at the numbers of adults with autism that could not have been included in the original study. This included people in residential care settings and those with a more severe learning disability. The study was led by Professor Terry Brugha of the University of Leicester, who also led on autism research for the APMS 2007.  Combining its findings with the original APMS, it found that the actual prevalence of autism is approximately 1.1% of the English population, (The NHS Information Centre, Community and Mental Health Team, Brugha, T. et al., 2012)

There are many political and social implications to ‘help’ that we should constantly be mindful of as well. When someone in a position of power – political, financial, social, whatever – decides to help someone disadvantaged, the inequality between them, the same inequality that led to their respective positions in the first place, is both strengthened and made painfully visible.

when offering our help, even to those who seem to greatly need it, we need to be conscious of how we use the power that we just won over them.

Every group of people has differences of opinion among its members. These might be subtle differences, or they may be huge and insurmountable. It’s easy to mistakenly think that if you heard one perspective, or indeed ten perspectives, then you know the whole story, but that is never the case

Forcing one’s own idea of what another person or group of people need is not help. It is arrogance and audacity

Autism Speaks is actually a terrible source for information about autism, for various reasons, but in order to know that, one still has to do some amount of research. He would only then learn that quoting it as “the leading organization advocating for people on the autism spectrum” is so grossly inadequate as to invalidate all his further claims almost instantly

If you’re going to write about a large population, you must assume that such differences exist, and – this is crucial – you must actively seek out these differences. Don’t stop researching until you find a controversy, and then try and determine how deep rooted and widespread it is.

His attack is based on the premise that his critics represent a small few, an insignificant minority; that they were driven to criticise him under a false pretence (namely that his article was poorly sourced; an accusation that was a) absolutely true, and b) not even the main issue); and therefore can be – if not completely ignored – swiftly brushed aside. Let us look beyond his arrogance and unshakable self-conviction. Here’s the important thing: You don’t get to choose who represents the group you’re writing about. You’ve come across members of the group who feel you’re completely wrong in everything you say about them? They’re probably right. If you couldn’t anticipate their angered reaction, you’re obviously just not sufficiently familiar with the field to write about it.

“enough with this political correctness already! I should be allowed to call people what I want”. No you shouldn’t. And if you don’t understand why, you haven’t done your research, and you shouldn’t be writing about this group of people in the first place.

When a person with Asperger’s identifies as an Aspie, he or she is making a conscious choice – a political choice – to adopt the label of Asperger’s in a very particular way.  To raise certain connotations. To emphasize some aspects of their neurology; indeed of their being. It’s not up to us NTs to impose this label on everyone with an AS diagnosis. This is a discourse from which we are more or less excluded, and for good reasons. Similar (though different) examples exist in more or less every other minority group.

it’s been my experience that by far more people are offended by “person with autism”, than by “autistic person”. This is because the former implies that autism is something external to the person, while the latter implies that autism is an important part of who that person is. There is no consensus in this matter; but I’ve been given the impression that while some find “autistic” distasteful, few are offended by it. However, a great many people find “person with autism” extremely offensive, and I’ve been repeatedly told this was, in most cases, preferable. See, for example here and here

regardless of whether autism is seen as a disability or not, it is nearly always experienced by autistic people as an inseparable part of their very being, of who they are. To say autism should be prevented, is telling them you wish they had never been born. To hope for an autism cure, is telling them you would have chosen to have them killed and replaced by someone else entirely – if only you had the technology to do so. It is categorically hurtful, insulting, immoral and cruel. So… Just don’t do it.

(the) disabled disabled (people)

able-bodied non-disabled

an epileptic, diabetic, depressive, and so on person with epilepsy, diabetes, depression or someone who has epilepsy, diabetes, depression

fits, spells, attacks seizures

1. Non-verbal and verbal communication People with an ASD have difficulty in understanding the communication and language of others, and in communicating themselves. Many children are delayed in learning to speak and a small minority do not develop much functional speech. This does not mean they cannot communicate, as they use other methods to communicate their needs. People with an ASD tend to have a literal understanding of language, so the use of metaphors such as ‘it’s raining cats and dogs’ should be avoided.

2. Social understanding and social behaviour People with an ASD have difficulty understanding the social behaviour of others and can behave in socially inappropriate ways. People with an ASD have difficulty empathising with others, and as a result are unable to read social contexts. Children with an ASD often find it hard to play and communicate with other children, because of their difficulties with empathy.

3. Imagining and thinking/behaving flexibly Children with an ASD find it difficult to engage in imaginative play, so they tend to spend more time in solitary play. Children with an ASD can have an excellent memory concerning toys or activities they are passionate about. People with an ASD tend to have particular interests in specific topics or activities, which they may pursue obsessively. People with an ASD often find change difficult to cope with, and have a preference for routine. They may also struggle to transfer skills to other activities.

Traditional Finnish sets of values combined with strong teacher professionalism together explain the high legitimacy of segregated special education in Finnish society

it is understood as a state that has already been achieved, because all that is possible has already been done.

Since the rehabilitation committee of 1966, the official documents of the National Board of Education have repeatedly stated that integration is a primary choice which, however, is not always possible to achieve. What is “possible” depends on the abilities of the person himself, and these limits are decided by teachers.

The academic world of special education has traditionally taken a conservative stance towards inclusion

Second, the academic field of special education has begun to experience some polarization in the question of inclusion, and more positive sounds are being heard in favour of inclusion. This argument is observed, for example, in a recent addition on special education of the Finnish educational journal “Kasvatus” (2/2009). Additionally, a current textbook written by leading special education professors (2009) refers to inclusive education in a cautiously positive tone of voice, even if traditional special education is in no way criticized. It also gives space to the presentation of the international inclusion movement and international statements.

More radical changes could be expected from a different direction. The preparation of new legislation concerning the state funding of local municipalities is currently taking place

The legitimacy of separate special education is strong and unquestioned. Since the mainstream in most other countries is towards inclusive education, the situation of Finnish school authorities is not always comfortable.

There are no visible interest groups questioning this ongoing development.

The high legitimacy and constant growth of segregated special education can be understood as a consequence of the individual funding model, teacher professionalism and the Finnish value system originating from the late modernisation of overall society.

The process of modernization and urbanization had led to the point where the economic structure of the country was shifting that of an industrial to a post-industrial phase.

The shift was manifested in the numbers of people working in the service sector, which superseded the numbers of those working in industry. The concomitant cultural change was expressed in the upheaval of societal values seen in many “cultural wars” of the time.

School began at the age of seven and continued until an age 16

School began at the age of seven and continued until an age 16. After completion of comprehensive school the voluntary school path continued either in vocational education or in a three year upper secondary high school.

From 1983 onwards, a new law concerning comprehensive schools changed the field of special education

One consequence of the liberation from special class categories was the sudden emergence of new types of special needs categories.

For example, the proportion of students with dysphasia increased from 10% to 20% in just six years.

  Disability category 2002 2008 N % N %

Autism and Asperger syndrome 679 2.0 1408 3.0

Year   Total   SEN total % SEN total % Full time in mainstream class % Full time or part-time in special education class

2008 561 061 47 257 8.4 2.3 6.1

1998 591 679 21 826 3.7 0.3 3.4

Now the proportion of students in special schools and special classes has increased to over six percent, maybe the highest percentage reported anywhere in the world at the present time.

During the school term of 2006-2007 of the students in comprehensive schools, 22.2% received part-time special education (Statistics Finland, 2009)

Large towns slightly more often use special class placements than rural schools

While in 2005 a total of 5.6% of students were moved in special classes in the country as a whole, the average proportion in larger towns was at a higher percentage, 6 - 9%

Large towns also relied more on separate special schools (Memo, 2006)

The moment you take it public, you are putting someone’s life at risk. Because you never know how one impulsive tweet or announcement can change a person’s life. Have the sense to put ourselves in other people’s shoes. Life’s not always about me, me and me

if we treat children with politeness and respect, and if they see us treating each other the same way, they will imitate us as they grow. They watch everything we say and do, and are learning, “Oh, so that’s how people are supposed to do it”!

“Said without feeling, these can be empty words. How often do we say thank you to the person at the supermarket checkout, without even thinking. It has simply become a habit. Rather we should teach children how to show genuine appreciation to people who give or share something with them. We can help them do this in age-appropriate ways right from the beginning, especially if we understand that young children show their feelings in non-verbal ways”.

each child shows their appreciation spontaneously in their own unique way

we should allow children to communicate their appreciation spontaneously. As they grow older and watch how we show appreciation to them and to other people, including words like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, doing the same will come naturally

Though prompting children to be polite can be counter-productive, we can facilitate them showing appreciation by involving them when we are being polite or friendly to someone. “Lets go and wave goodbye to Granny”, doesn’t put the child on the spot like, “Say goodbye to Granny now”.

If we make it fun, the child will probably enjoy participating.