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cdcrone

Against the Odds with Admissions Gods - 0 views

admissionsgods.blogspot.com

shared by cdcrone on 03 Feb 10 - Cached
  • “Left undiscussed, however, is how much unnecessary discrimination against whites and Asians is necessary in order to maintain the attendance of minorities.”
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
       
      I'm not sure that this quote is the best to show that she has a strong stance against affirmative action. I thought this was stated in a confusing way, but beyond that my interpretation of this quote was that discrimination against asians and whites was necessary to keep minorities in law schools. She might be stronger about her dislike for affirmative action throughout the blog, but this quote doesn't capture that sentiment to me.
  • These statistics are also adding a taste of cynicism to her voice; as many law schools deny the magnitude of affirmative action, her proof blatantly contradicts these assertions.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
       
      I think the use of statistics adds to both her argument and yours. It helps support your argument, and gives more authority to your voice.
  • If you follow this line of reasoning, affirmative action or preferential treatment should not look at race, but rather family income and one’s socioeconomics.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
       
      This is a really interesting point to make. I never really thought about affirmative action in terms of socioeconomic.
    • cdcrone
      cdcrone on 04 Feb 10
       
      I agree...the way you present the article and the flow of your own voice really help present this as a new option. Instead of just complaining about something and offering no solutions, you offer something that seems logical. This logical reasoning makes your post read much more powerfully.
  • ...2 more annotations...
  • What happens to the poor white men and women? Nothing good. This improper use of a once beneficial program completely undermines the foundations of equality and the incentive to work hard for those that will be adversely affected by affirmative action.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
       
      Your use of language and the question helped to make your opinion extremely clear. You have some strong opinons, especially because this issue is personal for you, and I think it's great that your voice is as strong as your opinions.
  • Her words and voice shall enlighten the many ignorant who naively call opponents to affirmative racist.
    • cdcrone
      cdcrone on 04 Feb 10
       
      The strong finish here makes me want to come back and read more.
  • morgan macbride on 03 Feb 10
     
    "Her words and voice shall enlighten the many ignorant who naively call opponents to affirmative racist. America is a land of opportunity, freedom, and most importantly equality. It is the barbaric mechanisms of discrimination such as affirmative action, that erode the perilous work America has done to establish itself as the great country it is today." This clearly shows my voice and my tone towards the issue of affirmative action
morgan macbride

Voice Ex (Morgan MacBride) - 0 views

www.discriminations.us/...preferences_how_many_bene.html

affirmative action discrimination preferential treatment

shared by morgan macbride on 03 Feb 10 - Cached
  • morgan macbride on 03 Feb 10
     
    "Black applicants are more than five times as likely as whites to be accepted to private schools, and 220 times as likely to be accepted at public schools." This is a use of statistics that does more than merely display numerical data. The extreme nature of these statistics shows her voice in that it calls into question the validity of affirmative action and those that fervently support it
Mark Marino

Is Google Making Us Stupid? - Magazine - The Atlantic - Nicholas Carr - 11 views

www.theatlantic.com/...6868

google

shared by Mark Marino on 06 Mar 10 - Cached
  • tinkering with my brain, remapping the neural circuitry, reprogramming the memory.
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 06 Mar 10
       
      I like his use of metaphor in this sentence, comparing his brain with the computer.
  • Now I zip along the surface like a guy on a Jet Ski.
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 06 Mar 10
       
      similie, very vivid!
  • “bounce”
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 06 Mar 10
       
      use of slang, fitting when talking about contemporary culture.
  • ...50 more annotations...
  • The human brain is just an outdated computer that needs a faster processor and a bigger hard drive.
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 06 Mar 10
       
      carrying through with this computer-brain metaphor
  • . Now my concentration often starts to drift after two or three pages.
    • Scott Prentice
      Scott Prentice on 06 Mar 10
       
      This is exactly how I have been starting to feel because after years of browsing the internet. He hit the nail right on the head.
  • Still, their easy assumption that we’d all “be better off” if our brains were supplemented, or even replaced, by an artificial intelligence is unsettling. It suggests a belief that intelligence is the output of a mechanical process, a series of discrete steps that can be isolated, measured, and optimized
    • Scott Prentice
      Scott Prentice on 06 Mar 10
       
      The problem with this assumption is that the author assumes it is within Page and Brin's agenda to formulate ideas and decisions for us. He states that it is a possibility that they would like to replace our our minds with artificial intelligence.
  • Just as there’s a tendency to glorify technological progress, there’s a countertendency to expect the worst of every new tool or machine.
    • Scott Prentice
      Scott Prentice on 06 Mar 10
       
      This is what my initial thought of what this article was going to be about; just another person problematizing a situation.
    • morgan macbride
      morgan macbride on 09 Mar 10
       
      This is especially true but I dont think we are expecting the worst of this new technology, I just think we are understanding the possible negative implications it can have on our everyday life
  • He feared that, as people came to rely on the written word as a substitute for the knowledge they used to carry inside their heads, they would, in the words of one of the dialogue’s characters, “cease to exercise their memory and become forgetful.”
    • Scott Prentice
      Scott Prentice on 06 Mar 10
       
      This is a very interesting factoid.
  • I’m not the only one. When I mention my troubles with reading to friends and acquaintances—literary types, most of them—many say they’re having similar experiences.
    • Scott Prentice
      Scott Prentice on 06 Mar 10
       
      Again, this is similar to how I feel and how my friends appear to act sometimes. It is something that I've felt but I've just never been again to put my finger on it.
  • we may well be reading more today than we did in the 1970s or 1980s, when television was our medium of choice
    • Scott Prentice
      Scott Prentice on 06 Mar 10
       
      I'm sure the same issue arose during the popularization of television and its tendency to push individuals away from literacy.
  • Even a blog post of more than three or four paragraphs is too much to absorb. I skim it.”
    • Scott Prentice
      Scott Prentice on 06 Mar 10
       
      After speaking to a friend about how websites and the content within are formed, it is supposedly forbidden to write long paragraphs and such. Most content is writen in the form of bullent point and short paragraphs that are written to get directly to the point.
  • As the late MIT computer scientist Joseph Weizenbaum  observed in his 1976 book, Computer Power and Human Reason: From Judgment to Calculation, the conception of the world that emerged from the widespread use of timekeeping instruments “remains an impoverished version of the older one, for it rests on a rejection of those direct experiences that formed the basis for, and indeed constituted, the old reality.” In deciding when to eat, to work, to sleep, to rise, we stopped listening to our senses and started obeying the clock.
    • cdcrone
      cdcrone on 08 Mar 10
       
      There might be something to be said for "obeying the clock," though - the shift from "listening to our gut," to a more calculated and precise view of the world seems like it would be helpful in terms of scientific thought and progress.
  • The result is to scatter our attention and diffuse our concentration.
    • cdcrone
      cdcrone on 08 Mar 10
       
      Perhaps, though in any case, the desire for more knowledge is nothing new. One might argue that, to a certain extent, breath without depth can help people reach a fuller view of a particular subject, and then, if they need/want to, it is also easy to find those lengthier sources.
  • That’s the essence of Kubrick’s dark prophecy: as we come to rely on computers to mediate our understanding of the world, it is our own intelligence that flattens into artificial intelligence.
    • cdcrone
      cdcrone on 08 Mar 10
       
      Though the article brings up good points to think about, it is all canclled out for me with this over-dramatic statement. *sigh*
    • morgan macbride
      morgan macbride on 09 Mar 10
       
      i believe its a little overdramatic too
  • As we are drained of our “inner repertory of dense cultural inheritance,” Foreman concluded, we risk turning into “‘pancake people’—spread wide and thin as we connect with that vast network of information accessed by the mere touch of a button.”
    • cdcrone
      cdcrone on 08 Mar 10
       
      Pancakes are tasty, yet dense, and can be healthy for you if you use the right ingredients and toppings. Who is to say that this new spreading out of culture is bad? Perhaps it is encouraging people to learn about things that they wouldn't have thought of before. The links out encourage new processes and connections to information previously unconnected. Especially at USC, where there is even a scholarship for those majoring in two seemingly unrelated disciplines at the same time, there is agreement that subjects previously thought to be unrelated can both be helped by a union of science and art. The Renaissance was full of those "pancake people," people striving to know and learn about the place they lived and how they thought about it. Do we think of the Renaissance as a time where people cast down depth of knowledge? The other side of the pancake is tempting indeed.
  • "Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave?”
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 09 Mar 10
       
      Imagery, classic film reference, and a poignant example of the fear of computers in the 21st century. Could you ask for a better opening line?
  • The deep reading that used to come naturally has become a struggle.
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 09 Mar 10
       
      I've definitely had this feeling too.
  • Reading, explains Wolf, is not an instinctive skill for human beings
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 09 Mar 10
       
      Very interesting hypothesis... I've wondered this myself when on page 700 of "War And Peace."
  • “You are right,” Nietzsche replied, “our writing equipment takes part in the forming of our thoughts.”
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 09 Mar 10
       
      As a student of architecture, I can see many parallels between this example and new computer-based architecture programs that are fundamentally changing the ways architects design.
  • “systematize everything”
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 09 Mar 10
       
      Exhilarating, yet terrifying.
  • The idea that our minds should operate as high-speed data-processing machines is not only built into the workings of the Internet, it is the network’s reigning business model as well.
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 09 Mar 10
       
      He raises an interesting point - but is this the way our minds were meant to work, and have other forms of media merely been restrictive in their relatively slow output of information?
  • HAL’s outpouring of feeling contrasts with the emotionlessness that characterizes the human figures in the film, who go about their business with an almost robotic efficiency.
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 09 Mar 10
       
      This is a great summation of the incredible eloquence of Kubrick's masterful film, a metaphor which operates very well in the context of this article.
  • It almost seems that they go online to avoid reading in the traditional sense.
    • Dongoh Kim
      Dongoh Kim on 09 Mar 10
       
      This is very true. I was also feeling this way. People is trying to avoid reading in traditional way. They only want to absorb informations that are simple, easy, and fast. It was like they are getting lazy and lazy over time.
    • cdcrone
      cdcrone on 09 Mar 10
       
      like simple english wikipedia?
  • When we read online, she says, we tend to become “mere decoders of information.”
    • Dongoh Kim
      Dongoh Kim on 09 Mar 10
       
      This "mere decoders of information" is so true! Since decoding information is to understand, break down, and interpret sets of communication and infromation in our brain clearly, reading online is trying to jump this process really fast.
  • It’s becoming our map and our clock, our printing press and our typewriter, our calculator and our telephone, and our radio and TV.
    • Dongoh Kim
      Dongoh Kim on 09 Mar 10
       
      I cannot argue a single word in this sentence. Internet and computer is not becoming, it is our part of life.
  • “Dave, my mind is going,” HAL says, forlornly. “I can feel it. I can feel it.”
    • tommyalexander
      tommyalexander on 09 Mar 10
       
      powerful use of quotes from the film - causes an association with the feeling you get when watching the scene
  • The Web has been a godsend to me as a writer. Research that once required days in the stacks or periodical rooms of libraries can now be done in minutes.
    • tommyalexander
      tommyalexander on 09 Mar 10
       
      he acknowledges the good parts about the internet before beginning his main argument
  • The faster we surf across the Web—the more links we click and pages we view—the more opportunities Google and other companies gain to collect information about us and to feed us advertisements.
  • The last thing these companies want is to encourage leisurely reading or slow, concentrated thought. It’s in their economic interest to drive us to distraction.
    • morgan macbride
      morgan macbride on 09 Mar 10
       
      very interesting concept
    • morgan macbride
      morgan macbride on 09 Mar 10
       
      its all about marketing and not conveying any messages
  • As people’s minds become attuned to the crazy quilt of Internet media, traditional media have to adapt to the audience’s new expectations. Television programs add text crawls and pop-up ads, and magazines and newspapers shorten their articles, introduce capsule summaries, and crowd their pages with easy-to-browse info-snippets.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 09 Mar 10
       
      Imagery. It's like a domino effect...once we've become used to power browsing through the internet we expect the same thing from all other types of media.
  • “I now have almost totally lost the ability to read and absorb a longish article on the web or in print,
    • morgan macbride
      morgan macbride on 09 Mar 10
       
      so many applications has shortened my attention span has dramatically shortened
  • But it’s a different kind of reading, and behind it lies a different kind of thinking—perhaps even a new sense of the self
    • glnnrivera
      glnnrivera on 09 Mar 10
       
      The focus of online reading is drastically differnt from reading traditional text. Close-readings are not all too common--the prevalence of quick-reading reflects our obssession with immediate satisfaction. Personally, I find reading on the computer can be rather straining, so I do find myself skimming a lot to get through whatever I'm reading(without printing). I'm sure there are a lot of other reasons this is the case. But, as the author mentions, a new way of thinking comes derives from this reading method. The author suggests that we don't make the same deep connections reading online these days. Ths is presented as resding light and an unsettling direction which is even a threat to "self." Incorporating identity in the argument lends power to the article.
  • Sometime in 1882, Friedrich Nietzsche bought a typewriter
    • tommyalexander
      tommyalexander on 09 Mar 10
       
      interesting start to the paragraph
  • And because they would be able to “receive a quantity of information without proper instruction,” they would “be thought very knowledgeable when they are for the most part quite ignorant.”
    • mkbusc
      mkbusc on 09 Mar 10
       
      This is a frightening idea that long ago they were worried that reading books would fill people with knowledge when they weren't knowledgeable. Now we face bigger problems because less people are reading because their focus has shifted to more unimportant issues.
  • Last year, Page told a convention of scientists that Google is “really trying to build artificial intelligence and to do it on a large scale.”
  • “Certainly if you had all the world’s information directly attached to your brain, or an artificial brain that was smarter than your brain, you’d be better off.”
  • For me, as for others, the Net is becoming a universal medium, the conduit for most of the information that flows through my eyes and ears and into my mind.
    • morgan macbride
      morgan macbride on 09 Mar 10
       
      very true
  • Then again, the Net isn’t the alphabet, and although it may replace the printing press, it produces something altogether different. The kind of deep reading that a sequence of printed pages promotes is valuable not just for the knowledge we acquire from the author’s words but for the intellectual vibrations those words set off within our own minds.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 09 Mar 10
       
      Seeking out information on the internet or through books is different, not necessarily a matter of what is a better way of gaining knowledge. They are different processes altogether so our experiences will be different. We're not learning less from the internet, we're just learning in a different context.
  • Never has a communications system played so many roles in our lives—or exerted such broad influence over our thoughts—as the Internet does today.
    • morgan macbride
      morgan macbride on 09 Mar 10
       
      this is especially true for me, there is no time in the day i am not checking my email, text, or facebook. They have become an interactive schedule planner that seem never to turn off
  • I think I know what’s going on.
  • "Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave?
  • malfunctioning machine
  • Over the pa
  • Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave
  • "Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave?”
  • brain
  • Nicholas Carr
  • The Atlantic Home Monday, September 12, 2011 Go Follow the Atlantic » Politics Business Entertainment International Technology National Life Magazine video Presented By Obama to Congress: Pass My Jobs Bill Immediately Julia Edwards 2012 Candidates as Active NFL Players Chris Good Why Perry Could Win on Social Security Matthew Dowd Presented by // // What if Americans Don't Want More Stimulus? Daniel Indiviglio America's Jobs Crisis in 17 Charts aut
  • "Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave?
  • g nearly been sent to
  • What the Internet is d
  • Making
  • supercomp
  • morgan macbride on 09 Mar 10
     
    "Never has a communications system played so many roles in our lives-or exerted such broad influence over our thoughts-as the Internet does today." This idea is extremely true in my life as I feel much of my communication is via text, facebook, or email. I at times almost finding myself losing touch with reality and physical contact and becoming complacent sending some non emotional or important information to a friend. The lack of physical communication can at times make me feel like a recluse. But at the same time, the easy and quick nature of this new technology almost makes it difficult to go back to the way things were
  • ...1 more comment...
  • morgan macbride on 09 Mar 10
     
    "Just as there's a tendency to glorify technological progress, there's a countertendency to expect the worst of every new tool or machine." This too is another really important point, the efficiency of the Net and other sources via the computer should not entirely take the place of reading of books and other sorts of literature that existed far before the Net. Much of what I read on the Net is useless chit chat that is merely for my entertainment. And the useful and thought provoking information on the Net is simply a copy of literature from a book or a law journal, it just is easier to access on my computer from my bed. In this regard, the Net is a great service, you just have to remember what information is useful and what information is not.
  • morgan macbride on 09 Mar 10
     
    The recurring theme that the Net is an extension allowing Google and other companies to feed us more advertisements and learn more about us is somewhat startling. The fact that every website and email we write can be tracked and looked at is a little invasive to say the least. In this sense, the Net's alluring attractions are also a trick to market us and use our information to exploit our monies.
  • glnnrivera on 09 Mar 10
     
    The focus of online reading is drastically different from traditional text. Close-readings are not as common--the prevalence of quick-reading reflects the obssession with immediate satisfaction. Personally, I find reading on the computer can be straining, so I do find myself skimming a lot just to get through whatever I'm reading(without printing). I'm sure there are a lot of other reasons this is the case.But, as the author brings up, we also think differently. The author suggests that we don't make the same deep connections in reading. This is presented as reading light and an unsettling direction.
sunmeeholmes

Rihanna Gives Stellar Advice | I Need My Fix - 0 views

www.ineedmyfix.com/...rihanna-gives-stellar-advice

voicex rihanna

shared by sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10 - Cached
  • her advice to girls everywhere
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      The blogger takes on an outsider's point of view. She's not the one being influenced by Rihanna's words, and this post is more like a warning to all the girls out their who might be unintelligent enough to take the advice of celebrity, even if it's ridiculous advice. I think she creates a stance here that says that, even though she loves gossip and blogs about it, celebrity life leaves her unscathed. The blogger is letting her readers know that she isn't one of "those" gossip lovers who'll do anything to feel like they're a part of the celebrity world.
  • (gee…imagine?? naked pictures taken in the year 2009 and end up on the Internet…who would have thunk?)
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      Making fun of the naivety of Rihanna and also the other celebrity lovers who would listen to her. She's separating herself again, and also establishing herself as someone who's older and more mature than the average celebrity teen fans (this is a point she makes often in her posts).
  • I rolled my eyes so hard when I read these quotes that my contact lenses stayed in the back of my head.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      Painting an image here. Instead of writing that she thought Rihanna is absurd, she wrote about her actions.
  • ...2 more annotations...
  • nekkid
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      The blogger prurposefully uses slang to emphasize the fact that she would never be the type of person to use slang like this. It's very out of place, but appropriate to use when you're pointing out another person's mistake. It's just another emphasis on Rihanna's lack of knowledge, by repeating her words using slang. The reader automatically attributes the word to what Rihanna has said, not the blogger.
  • keep them private unless you want them on the Internet then give them to a boyfriend
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      She spends the whole post writing about on the stupidity of Rihanna's comments, and the supposed stupidity of those young girls who would follow her advice, but at the end, she suggests that maybe this type of person would want naked photos of themselves online anyway. It's her final way of shaking her head at all the gullible girls out there. And she's making clear that there really are different types of gossip bloggers, and this one is not hers.
bamk340

The Weight of Reality: February 2010 - 4 views

weightofreality.blogspot.com/2010_02_01_archive.html

shared by bamk340 on 04 Feb 10 - Cached
  • Most diet blogs are meant to be motivating, and in order to inspire others, you often must be inspired yourself. But, if we’re being serious with ourselves, thousands of people pledge every January first to lose weight, and yet the waistline of our country seems to be growing every year.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      I like the realist point of view here. The honesty makes readers more likely to pay attention and trust the writer.
  • it can be discouraging to go to the gym and jump on the elliptical next to the gorgeous, perfectly toned girl who doesn’t sweat
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      Really paints the picture, and it's something that I can totally relate with! The imagery makes this an interesting read.
  • and I am totally guilty of this too
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      A nice personal touch, it makes the writer real to the reader.
  • ...12 more annotations...
  • While many fast food companies are trying to include healthy options in their menus, this isn’t the reason most of us are going there (I’m usually in the drive thru with a serious craving for fries and a shake)
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      Again, personal confessions make it seem real. The side note in parentheses is also funny. I can see myself in that drive through ordering those fries and a shake too.
  • He knows that all that old food will still be calling out to him. He also knows that his weight loss is not going to be as dramatic as all the reality shows make it seem.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      Repetition of the words, "he knows" catches attention.
  • stumbled
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      Use of action verb, create a clear image.
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      would it grab more of the reader's attention if you reverse the order of the clauses and start with "I stumbled..." first?
  • calculated how much not buying junk food and fast food saved him.
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      very good idea!
  • weight loss tangible
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      The use of personification makes this more interesting. Because of the image the word "tangible" is illustrating ( I am actually imaging reaching and grabing "weight loss"), it is very convincing.
  • Plus, money is usually a much better motivator than salad and the treadmill.
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      I like how you pointed this out because I didn't think to compare this with other weight loss "motivations".
  • Most of are
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      just a note for you that you forgot a word in this sentence
  • We make pledges to lose weight, to exercise, to eat healthy, but it is so much easier to go to the drive thru, to sit on the couch, and to avoid the scale.
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      The use of parallel structure in this sentence to compare what what people want to do verse what they tend actualy do. I like how you point these relationships out.
  • Weight loss is a slow process, especially when factors like work, family and the junk food that we are constantly surrounded with come into the mix.
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      Again, pointing out these relationships are what makes your post interesting to read. It shows that you really analyzed this topic and kind of put your perspective into it.
  • “I'm thinking that if I can start training myself to say, "Hey, don't buy that eighty-nine-cent candy bar," when I'm at, say, a Walgreen's (no offense, Walgreen's), and I jot down that 89 cents in a journal, maybe I'll start to see some progress, not just on my scale, but in my bank account, too,”
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      Maybe you should block quote this or summarize his points.
  • With this scenario,
  • With his blog Geoff is ab
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      the previous paragraph also started with "with" may be you can change that so there's more variety.
bamk340

Stop the Stuffing! - David Lebovitz - 1 views

www.davidlebovitz.com/...stop_the_stuffing.html

voicex

shared by bamk340 on 04 Feb 10 - Cached
  • métro
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      means subway in English
  • face à face
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      means one-on-one
  • affiche
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      means poster
  • ...20 more annotations...
  • Mr. Ed
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      Mr. Ed is a horse from this comedy back in the day.
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      Expects/forces audience to look up this reference if they don't know it (the comedy aired in the 60s)
  • le gavage
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      or force-feeding
  • foie gras
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      literally means fatty liver
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      He puts stuffs this first paragraph with French words, probably to set the stage and emphasize to the audience that he is indeed in France and he knows the culture, and probably also for a humorous effect!
  • rocketed
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      an action verb, creates a very vivid (an kind of humorous) image in my mind.
  • unequivocally daring
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      the use of adverb and adjective
  • offal
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      just want to add that in asian culture, we like eating animal intestines like liver, heart...
  • chow down
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      I guess here he is creating an image that eating intestines is not "forks and knives". His tone and word choice changes to "chow down," which is more casual and create an image (at least of me) of a person stuffing down a lot of food with the person's bare hands.
  • btw: In case you invite me over for dinner, I'm with that camp.
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      just wanted to make note of his use of online language. he's gradually changing the tone a little. In the beginning of the paragraph, he uses more complicated phrases like "unequivocally daring" to describe his subject, and towards the end he's using words like "chow down" and "btw"
  • to try horse milk
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      this post contains a lot of links to past posts when he wrote about these topics. i think it is very smart that he only links to the more uncommon foods, like horse milk, that way, it'll attract more people to read about it.
  • Américains
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      Don't quite understand why he decided to say Americans in French. But probably for a humorous effect? Or he's trying to imply that he is viewing this from a French perspective?
  • There's also of a bit of dubious discussions about how everyone here are either really careful or eat in moderation. Or that people are starving themselves to stay thin, or that the French eat anything—fries, crème brûlée, and triple-cream cheese with reckless abandon, yet stay remarkably thin, no matter what.
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      This is a really long sentence. I feel this is generally this blogger's style. He writes a lot of length sentences and not very many short and choppy ones. This kind of show his string of thoughts and his excitement in the topic that he supplies his sentences with endless information.
  • Well, except they speak French very well and somehow seem to know all those verbs.
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      Ends paragraph with a side note that states the obvious and brings in, i guess, an unexplainable phenomenon. This is part of the humor he brings to his blog.
  • a commenter remarked that I was a typical American who was part of the posse giving foie gras "bad press". (Er, dude, I eat foie gras.)
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      Parallels bad about foie gras with being a paparazzi. Use of quotes, "bad press," emphasizes that the commenter was wrong about what he had to say about foie gras. Foie gras is also personified, like a star. His side thought, put in parenthesis illustrate a clear change in tone, calling the commenter as "dude" minimizes the importance of the person, that he is just some guy. Yet the blogger tries to be annoyed without being meaning. Adding "er" in front or writing out the sound he is making, makes the sentence more humorous instead.
  • Only because it's part of the French culinary heritage and vocabulary, and since I'm trying to fit in, I once thought about trying horse meat, just to give it a go.
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      Another trend I found in his writing is not only use of long sentences, but also beginning these sentences with dependent clauses. The blogger could have rephrased this sentence to make it more active. By placing the main idea of this sentence in the back of the sentence, he's trying to build drama and in a way kind of justifying himself before telling the audience what he really wants to tell.
  • icky stuff
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      the word choice "icky" creates a more child-like voice. I can imagine him twitching and tencing up as he is saying "icky"
  • I didn't really
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      the italics illustrates him trying to convince himself that he didn't need to try horse meat.
  • folks...whew!
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      by calling the audience "folks" he groups all the people reading his blog together. Makes it kind of seem like he's performing a monologue (where he gets to bring up the audience. In addition, the word "whew" is an onamanopedia, which creates an image of him wiping sweat off his forehead.
  • (only because my first French teacher asked me, "Why is everyone in California so politically-correct?", so I have an image to maintain)
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      Another characteristic of his style is to interrupt his sentences with his stories and side thoughts. Although here it is in within the parenthesis, usually, they are inserted as clauses in the sentence.
  • scarfing
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      kind of like the word "chow down" he used early. creates an image of him stuffing himself with food and gulping down a lot of food.
  • I don't know what else is on the menu, but I'm pretty sure there won't be any horse meat. If there is, I'll let someone else have my portion...because 'tis the season of sharing.
    • bamk340
      bamk340 on 04 Feb 10
       
      Topic gradually digressed from him seeing posters advocating others not to eat certain foods to him talking about horse meat and Americans versus French in being adventurous in trying foods. he likes to digress yet in the end, somehow brings everything back together. I really like his ending sentence to this short paragraph how he gives a "legit" reason for not trying exotic foods.
sunmeeholmes

Blueish Brain Matter: Trifecta - 0 views

blueishbrain.blogspot.com/...trifecta.html

shared by sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10 - Cached
  • The purpose of this blog, like many others, is to make its readers think
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Maybe, instead of writing out "the purpose of this blog is..." try writing it from your point of view: "I want to make you think and give you a new perspective..." something like that.
  • focusing on people in my age group (late teens to early 20s). I chose this age group, not only because I am a part of it,
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      "my age group" and "I am part of it" are a little repetitive...try to put these sentences together.
  • Besides that, I also think that people within that age range have had a unique experience with regard to spiritual and psychological issues.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Try to focus less on the age group and more on the spirituality
  • ...9 more annotations...
  • Instant messaging became text messaging, morphed into myspace, upgraded to facebook and has now reincarnated itself as twitter.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Really like this sentence
  • Being born in 1988,
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      You've mentioned a couple times what age you are and what age group you're in...I don't think you need to reiterate it here.
  • A lot of the blog will be dedicated to the music industry and how it is unfolding in this increasingly digital world.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      I'm a little confused on what the focus of your blog is...is it about spirituality, the digital revolution or the music industry? Maybe stick to one thing, or make sure that you tie each of those topics together.
  • especially since it is hosted by a website called beliefnet.com
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      i like that you explained why her blog is so popular
  • “Inspiration. Spirituality. Faith”
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      this isn't so relevant, the url explains what the website is about (p.s. link the url!)
  • psuedo-spiritual gibberish
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Good voice...use it more often!
  • I want my blog, like hers, to explore spiritual issues and how they directly influence people’s perceptions, decisions and actions, not just their thinking.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      I would tie this in with the digital revolution and music industry also...again, you need to re-emphasize how they link together
  • poetic rhythm built into them, forcing the reader to digest his words with a specific cadence.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      this is cool...it feels like you're talking about music...a great way to work with both your topics!
  • The first exclamation point forces a full-length (half-note) pause after the word India. The next sentence is then broken down by commas into two syllable phrases, roughly a quarter-note for each (with the exception of the word “beautiful” whose last two syllables kind of blend into one). This gives the sentence an almost iambic pentameter-ish feel in the first half.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Again, I love how you make the quote into music...this is a great way to add your voice into a blog about another person
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