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Contents contributed and discussions participated by sunmeeholmes

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sunmeeholmes

The World Of Web 2.0: Trifecta Post - 2 views

internetwo.blogspot.com/...trifecta-post.html

shared by sunmeeholmes on 09 Feb 10 - Cached
  • “latest technology”
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      lots of quotes happening here...i don't think you need them for this term
  • towering beige computer with a dial-up modem,
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      oh yes, i remember those days :)
  • often involving hours of coding in darkened rooms by haggard programmers
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      good voice
  • ...7 more annotations...
  • autonomous intake of new content
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      maybe it's because i am totally not computer savvy, but i have no idea what this means
  • Over the course of the next fifteen weeks
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      It might be better to leave out a termination date...who knows, you might keep on writing after the class is done!
  • insightful
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Try a different word...it was just used the sentence before
  • Mr. Carr isn’t without his credentials, either
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Good way to introduce the stats
  • Like a game of Tetris gone wrong, each snippet of writing is unordered, full of chronological holes, and is utterly bewildering to the reader.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      nice
  • It’s a great question, and one that many bloggers still seem unable to answer.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      I don't think this sentence is necessary...I think you can go straight into the answer
  • I will hopefully
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      You did this in both your profile blogs...it's not bad, but give yourself some credit! Use less of the "I hopes" and more of the "I wills"
sunmeeholmes

Blueish Brain Matter: Trifecta - 0 views

blueishbrain.blogspot.com/...trifecta.html

shared by sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10 - Cached
  • The purpose of this blog, like many others, is to make its readers think
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Maybe, instead of writing out "the purpose of this blog is..." try writing it from your point of view: "I want to make you think and give you a new perspective..." something like that.
  • focusing on people in my age group (late teens to early 20s). I chose this age group, not only because I am a part of it,
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      "my age group" and "I am part of it" are a little repetitive...try to put these sentences together.
  • Besides that, I also think that people within that age range have had a unique experience with regard to spiritual and psychological issues.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Try to focus less on the age group and more on the spirituality
  • ...9 more annotations...
  • Instant messaging became text messaging, morphed into myspace, upgraded to facebook and has now reincarnated itself as twitter.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Really like this sentence
  • Being born in 1988,
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      You've mentioned a couple times what age you are and what age group you're in...I don't think you need to reiterate it here.
  • A lot of the blog will be dedicated to the music industry and how it is unfolding in this increasingly digital world.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      I'm a little confused on what the focus of your blog is...is it about spirituality, the digital revolution or the music industry? Maybe stick to one thing, or make sure that you tie each of those topics together.
  • especially since it is hosted by a website called beliefnet.com
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      i like that you explained why her blog is so popular
  • “Inspiration. Spirituality. Faith”
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      this isn't so relevant, the url explains what the website is about (p.s. link the url!)
  • psuedo-spiritual gibberish
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Good voice...use it more often!
  • I want my blog, like hers, to explore spiritual issues and how they directly influence people’s perceptions, decisions and actions, not just their thinking.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      I would tie this in with the digital revolution and music industry also...again, you need to re-emphasize how they link together
  • poetic rhythm built into them, forcing the reader to digest his words with a specific cadence.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      this is cool...it feels like you're talking about music...a great way to work with both your topics!
  • The first exclamation point forces a full-length (half-note) pause after the word India. The next sentence is then broken down by commas into two syllable phrases, roughly a quarter-note for each (with the exception of the word “beautiful” whose last two syllables kind of blend into one). This gives the sentence an almost iambic pentameter-ish feel in the first half.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Again, I love how you make the quote into music...this is a great way to add your voice into a blog about another person
sunmeeholmes

Behind the Bleachers: Trifecta - 4 views

behindthebleachers.blogspot.com/...trifecta_09.html

shared by sunmeeholmes on 09 Feb 10 - Cached
  • I want to talk about the impact of sports that stretches beyond the box score. Basically, I will dive into the magical world behind the bleachers – the one we usually don’t hear about.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      I think you can combine these sentences...it's using two analogies to say the same thing
  • To some, success isn’t measured in wins and losses. It’s all business, right?
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      These sentences are a good intro to your voice.
  • I researched the intricacies of the Collective Bargaining Agreements, and I was hooked.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Hmm...you researched this before the age of ten? Props if you did cuz it sounds complicated, but if not, you might want to clarify.
  • ...10 more annotations...
  • An example of the type of issues I hope to discuss
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Skip the "hope to discuss" and be more straightforward. Something like, "my blog will discuss..."
  • I will try my best to make sure that this blog
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Again, be more straightforward. When you write things like "I hope" or "I'll try my best" you're making promises you don't think you'll keep.
  • wish to discuss
  • I do not know if Technorati has filtered out inactive blogs
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Wait, what does this have to do with getting the amount of comments he deserves?
  • he presents topics from both the collegiate and professional level
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      "he also presents topics from the professional level"--collegiate twice is repetitive
  • The blogger, whose name is posted simply as “Mark”, is an attorney working in private practice. He spends most of his time dealing with sports related matters. Mark began work on this blog on January 11th 2005 and has posted about 3-4 times per week since then. His style involves using mostly short, but very information-heavy posts. Some of his posts are simply links to articles related to sports business that he found interesting, but didn’t have time to discuss.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Need some more of your voice in here! I know it's hard because you're listing info about the blogger...maybe you can mention information throughout the post, instead of writing it all down together.
  • Mark discusses the recent agreement that the city of Irving, Texas made with Kraft Foods.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      try to combine this with the next sentence to make it flow better
  • One thing that I really appreciate about this blog is that it does not try to be anything other than what it is. Mark knows that there probably isn’t an overwhelming population that is interested in sports business, but he sticks to his content.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      This is nice! It shows WHY you're interested in his blog.
  • Joe, a former writer for Sports Illustrated, updates his blog nearly every day and enjoys quite a large following.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Ooh, this is a much better way to write the technical info about a blogger...try this on your blogger profile post!
  • His use of all capital letters at the end of the quoted section also demonstrates the passion and aggression that this post was crafted with.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Maybe add a transition? It feels like you just stuck this in at the end.
sunmeeholmes

Is Google Making Us Stupid? - Magazine - The Atlantic - Nicholas Carr - 11 views

www.theatlantic.com/...6868

google

shared by sunmeeholmes on 06 Mar 10 - Cached
  • As people’s minds become attuned to the crazy quilt of Internet media, traditional media have to adapt to the audience’s new expectations. Television programs add text crawls and pop-up ads, and magazines and newspapers shorten their articles, introduce capsule summaries, and crowd their pages with easy-to-browse info-snippets.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 09 Mar 10
       
      Imagery. It's like a domino effect...once we've become used to power browsing through the internet we expect the same thing from all other types of media.
  • Then again, the Net isn’t the alphabet, and although it may replace the printing press, it produces something altogether different. The kind of deep reading that a sequence of printed pages promotes is valuable not just for the knowledge we acquire from the author’s words but for the intellectual vibrations those words set off within our own minds.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 09 Mar 10
       
      Seeking out information on the internet or through books is different, not necessarily a matter of what is a better way of gaining knowledge. They are different processes altogether so our experiences will be different. We're not learning less from the internet, we're just learning in a different context.
sunmeeholmes

Dates & Deadlines - USC Undergraduate Admission - 0 views

www.usc.edu/...dates_deadlines.html

SOScollege deadlines usc

shared by sunmeeholmes on 23 Feb 10 - Cached
  • sunmeeholmes on 23 Feb 10
     
    USC Fall 2010 deadlines
sunmeeholmes

FAFSA - Free Application for Federal Student Aid - 0 views

www.fafsa.ed.gov/before003a.htm

SOScollege deadlines fafsa

shared by sunmeeholmes on 23 Feb 10 - Cached
  • sunmeeholmes on 23 Feb 10
     
    FAFSA deadlines by state.
sunmeeholmes

CollegePrep-101 - Home of all Your College Preparation Needs - 0 views

www.collegeprep101.com

SOSCollege

shared by sunmeeholmes on 16 Feb 10 - Cached
  • sunmeeholmes on 16 Feb 10
     
    This site has college planning checklists for each grade level, test prep info, scholarship links (although it's not very thorough), etc.
sunmeeholmes

The Weight of Reality: February 2010 - 4 views

weightofreality.blogspot.com/2010_02_01_archive.html

shared by sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10 - Cached
  • Most diet blogs are meant to be motivating, and in order to inspire others, you often must be inspired yourself. But, if we’re being serious with ourselves, thousands of people pledge every January first to lose weight, and yet the waistline of our country seems to be growing every year.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      I like the realist point of view here. The honesty makes readers more likely to pay attention and trust the writer.
  • it can be discouraging to go to the gym and jump on the elliptical next to the gorgeous, perfectly toned girl who doesn’t sweat
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      Really paints the picture, and it's something that I can totally relate with! The imagery makes this an interesting read.
  • and I am totally guilty of this too
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      A nice personal touch, it makes the writer real to the reader.
  • ...2 more annotations...
  • While many fast food companies are trying to include healthy options in their menus, this isn’t the reason most of us are going there (I’m usually in the drive thru with a serious craving for fries and a shake)
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      Again, personal confessions make it seem real. The side note in parentheses is also funny. I can see myself in that drive through ordering those fries and a shake too.
  • He knows that all that old food will still be calling out to him. He also knows that his weight loss is not going to be as dramatic as all the reality shows make it seem.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      Repetition of the words, "he knows" catches attention.
sunmeeholmes

Rihanna Gives Stellar Advice | I Need My Fix - 0 views

www.ineedmyfix.com/...rihanna-gives-stellar-advice

voicex rihanna

shared by sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10 - Cached
  • her advice to girls everywhere
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      The blogger takes on an outsider's point of view. She's not the one being influenced by Rihanna's words, and this post is more like a warning to all the girls out their who might be unintelligent enough to take the advice of celebrity, even if it's ridiculous advice. I think she creates a stance here that says that, even though she loves gossip and blogs about it, celebrity life leaves her unscathed. The blogger is letting her readers know that she isn't one of "those" gossip lovers who'll do anything to feel like they're a part of the celebrity world.
  • (gee…imagine?? naked pictures taken in the year 2009 and end up on the Internet…who would have thunk?)
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      Making fun of the naivety of Rihanna and also the other celebrity lovers who would listen to her. She's separating herself again, and also establishing herself as someone who's older and more mature than the average celebrity teen fans (this is a point she makes often in her posts).
  • I rolled my eyes so hard when I read these quotes that my contact lenses stayed in the back of my head.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      Painting an image here. Instead of writing that she thought Rihanna is absurd, she wrote about her actions.
  • ...2 more annotations...
  • nekkid
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      The blogger prurposefully uses slang to emphasize the fact that she would never be the type of person to use slang like this. It's very out of place, but appropriate to use when you're pointing out another person's mistake. It's just another emphasis on Rihanna's lack of knowledge, by repeating her words using slang. The reader automatically attributes the word to what Rihanna has said, not the blogger.
  • keep them private unless you want them on the Internet then give them to a boyfriend
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 04 Feb 10
       
      She spends the whole post writing about on the stupidity of Rihanna's comments, and the supposed stupidity of those young girls who would follow her advice, but at the end, she suggests that maybe this type of person would want naked photos of themselves online anyway. It's her final way of shaking her head at all the gullible girls out there. And she's making clear that there really are different types of gossip bloggers, and this one is not hers.
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