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Contents contributed and discussions participated by bamk340

bamk340

Beauty Is No Longer Truth: The Trifecta! - 2 views

  • My mother is a registered nurse, and after 18 years as a stay-at-home mom, re- entered the world of medicine as the nurse to our plastic surgeon friend.
    • bamk340
       
      i like how you are giving us your background and also a sense of authority and your knowledge in the field
  • just as much cottage cheese
    • bamk340
       
      haha, very vivid metaphor
  • rediculous
    • bamk340
       
      just so you can take note of this
  • ...1 more annotation...
  • C’mon. Be Honest. You kinda love Heidi Montag. I mean, if nothing else you love to hate her. Frankly, I give her props. She has managed to stay in the spotlight for what, like 5 years now? (does anyone know why, exactly?) And just when she and good old Spencer begin to fade out of US Weekly…BAM! She’s on the cover of People, staring at you with her expressionless face (courtesy of unnecessary Botox) and breasts that are so unnaturally large they might pop out of the cover and stab you in the eyes.
    • bamk340
       
      i really like your voice here! i can see it in certain parts of the second post, but i feel that it's not too consistent.
bamk340

Celebrities: Our Walking Ads: Trifecta! - 3 views

  • (dear God, please give me 20 something year old legs when I’m forty, too)
    • bamk340
       
      i like these thought inserts, really shows your voice and character
  • Gary Coleman
    • bamk340
       
      i think it's great that you randomly insert celebrity names/ talk about celebrities. this really fits with your voice and the point of your blog!
  • make mistakes, big mistakes.
    • bamk340
       
      would it emphasize mistakes more if you separate that into 2 sentences.
  • ...2 more annotations...
  • Bam! Here's
    • bamk340
       
      that's me! sorry, that wasn't a constructive comment.
  • Real quick, I have to plug my own blog before you become aficionados of The Superficial and forget all about me: come here for a dose of celebrity lives from a different angle.  I’m not here just to make fun of celebrities, but also to let you know how reading about them/being obsessed with them, is affecting the way you do things and the way you think.  But, when it comes to good ol' celeb bashing, The Superficial is there for me, and you.
    • bamk340
       
      i like how you connected the post back to your blog without directly stating it.
bamk340

State of The Pop Scene: Trifecta - 2 views

  • Sometimes music relaxes me. Sometimes it inspires. Sometime it gets my blood-pumping
    • bamk340
       
      I like your use of repetition, but maybe choose to either use "music" or "it", i think that'll emphasizes the idea more.
  • My blog will follow suit in this category—a focus on content above all.
    • bamk340
       
      doesn't seem to connect with the flow of the paragraph. maybe add a transition word here?
  • The sub-line of the “Pop Trash Addicts” title reads: “Oh no, you didn’t.” Well, oh yes, I did.
    • bamk340
       
      haha, this part's funny!
  • ...5 more annotations...
  • Besides being a pop fanatic, she has a love for "guilt pleasures, elephants, and all things aquamarine." Interesting.
    • bamk340
       
      i think you should have more of these choppy or one word sentences, it reveals more character and your voice.
  • swift
    • bamk340
       
      just point this out so you remember to fix this
  • al of her
    • bamk340
       
      so you can fix this too.
  • as if I am the privileged owner of a limited release DVD with BONUS special features.
    • bamk340
       
      i like these metaphors! makes the reader think and makes what you are saying more interesting.
  • Mel's voice is casual, honest, and creatively playful. If she were a singer instead of a blogger she would definitely be singing with melismas.
    • bamk340
       
      a good ending that connects with the beginning
bamk340

International Students - colleges in United States - apply to US colleges - 0 views

  •  
    A page within Collegeboard website specifically for international students applying to colleges in the states
bamk340

Is Google Making Us Stupid? - Magazine - The Atlantic - Nicholas Carr - 11 views

  • tinkering with my brain, remapping the neural circuitry, reprogramming the memory.
    • bamk340
       
      I like his use of metaphor in this sentence, comparing his brain with the computer.
  • Now I zip along the surface like a guy on a Jet Ski.
    • bamk340
       
      similie, very vivid!
  • “bounce”
    • bamk340
       
      use of slang, fitting when talking about contemporary culture.
  • ...1 more annotation...
  • The human brain is just an outdated computer that needs a faster processor and a bigger hard drive.
    • bamk340
       
      carrying through with this computer-brain metaphor
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