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Leyla Bonilla

I'm Sorry, I Don't Know, I Can't … | ThinkSimpleNow.com - 1 views

  • Do you find yourself saying the words I’m sorry or I don’t know often? Did you know that this over-sighted language pattern is actually limiting our potential to happiness and ultimately getting what we want?
  • If our conscious mind is indeed “in control” as we believe, then why do we sign up for gym memberships after new years and never go? Why it is that even after we’ve decided on something we really want (like a new hobby), we fail to take action on it?
  • While our conscious mind is the captain of our ship, our unconscious mind is the guys in the engine room, making the ship run. The ship moves because of the work done by these engine room guys. They listen to the commands from the captain, without question. They are exceptional at taking commands and executing them. Since the conscious mind has limited capacity and can only become aware of a very limited set of information, our unconscious mind only surfaces what we consider important. How does the unconscious mind know what’s important? It doesn’t. The unconscious mind determines this based on the frequency of commands it receives of the same topic from the conscious mind.
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  • Each time we have a conscious thought, or we verbalize words aloud, or see a scene in our imagination, it gets fed into our unconscious mind. Like a command from the captain, whether it is our intention or not, the command gets executed in some form; it leaves an impression on the unconscious mind.
  • At times, even for the smallest decision, we would shrug and say “I dunno”. Why? Because it’s an easy answer. We don’t have to think.
  • I recommend we reserve the words I’m sorry to situations when we really mean it, and need it to express our genuine feelings.
  • There is a difference between truly not knowing something and believing that you don’t know something. There’s also the connotation that you do not have the ability to decide or to learn something new. These words are repeated so causally that we start to rely on them out of laziness and habit.
  • if we repeatedly say I’m sorry each time we reply to emails after 2 days, then we’ve programmed ourselves to feel guilt whenever we do not respond to emails immediately.
  • Replace “I don’t know” when making a decision with an alternative phrase. Come up with a list of such alternatives. Here are some ideas: “Give me a moment, I have not decided yet.” “Let me think about it.” “I am evaluating my options.” “Hmmm. Let me see…” Action: List out the options and their pros and cons.
  • Being indecisive sends a similar message to the people around you. We tend to trust and rely on people who are decisive. It is a character strength; especially in business.
  • What we repeatedly do becomes our habits. And if we make a habit out of indecisiveness on small decisions, how will we react when we need to make important decisions in life, in business, or in relationships?
  • Consider the following scenario: Person A: “Where is the salt?” Person B: “On the kitchen shelf.” Person A: “I don’t see it.” Person B walks to where person A is standing, reaches over where person A is looking, and pulls out the salt bottle. It was right in front of person A. Have you been in such a scenario? I certainly have. Did person A truly not see the salt? Or did person A believe that she did not see the salt? Bingo!
  • Remember that our unconscious mind takes commands directly from our words? When we tell ourselves that we do not see something, we are passing the message to our unconscious mind in the form of a command. It proceeds accordingly and makes a note to stop passing anymore messages to the conscious mind when salt bottles are seen. Isn’t that funny?
  • When you want to say “I don’t remember where I put the keys?”, rephrase the question to “If I could remember, what would they be?”
  • Instead of saying “I don’t know how to.”, rephrase to “I have not learned how to do that yet, but I can learn.“
  • When we say I can’t do something, we’ve just declared impossibility as a definite answer. We are telling ourselves that we will never be able to do it, because we lack the necessary capabilities.
  • By saying we can’t do something, we are suggesting that we do not have the ability to learn, that we have given up, that we lack the potential that other gifted humans possess.
  • By saying we don’t have the time, we are impressing upon ourselves that we are very busy, making us feel important. It is an illusion. Yes, we may have a very full schedule, but when we say we don’t have time, it usually means that we just don’t want to do it. Not having enough time is an excuse. If it was important enough, we’d find the time
  • For starters, you don’t have to do anything! You know that. The world will not come to an end if you don’t do something (in most cases). We feel like we have to for one of two reasons: It brings you pleasure/benefit. ie. Something you enjoy doing. It reduces pain. ie. Losing a job or friendship, or an excuse not to do something else.
  • We are in control of our lives, and instead of saying I have to, replace it with I want to, or I am doing something because here are the benefits it brings me.
  • If you don’t want to do something, instead of giving people excuses starting with “I’d love to but, I have to…“, just gracefully say “Thanks for the invite, but I am resting at home tonight.” Or “Thank you. I have plans tonight. Maybe next time.
thinkahol *

YouTube - The Psychology of Religion-Steven Pinker (part I) - 0 views

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    In an illustration more typical of Pinker's cultural taste, he quotes the opening scene of Woody Allen's movie Annie Hall, when the young Alvy Singer tells a psychiatrist that he won't do his homework because the universe is expanding. If the universe is going to fall apart, he says, what is the point of human existence? "What has the universe got to do with it?" his mother wails at him. "You' re here in Brooklyn! Brooklyn is not expanding!" That kind of reductionism is confusing two levels of analysis," Pinker says. "We have meaning and purpose here inside our heads, being the organisms that we are. We have brains that make it impossible for us to live our lives except in terms of meaning and purpose. The fact that you can look at meaning and purpose in one way, as a neuro-psychological phenomenon, doesn' t mean you can' t look at it in another way, in terms of how we live our lives." The collection of genes known as Steven Pinker made the point most forcibly in How The Mind Works, where he explained his own decision not to have children - which apparently runs counter to the demands of evolution - and says that if his genes don't like it, "they can take a running jump." http://www.guardian.co.uk/Archive/Article/0,4273,3926387,00.html Steven Pinker
thinkahol *

Pamela Gerloff: The Psychology of Revenge: Why We Should Stop Celebrating Osama Bin Lad... - 0 views

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    While the killing of Osama bin Laden is being enthusiastically celebrated throughout America and parts of the world, to say that such merriment is out of order will surely be considered heresy. Nonetheless, I'm saying it -- because it needs to be said. What I am tempted to say is this: Get a grip, celebrators. Have you so little decency?
franstassigny

Dedalus transfert - 0 views

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    One must absolutely direct oneself from the author towards his work, that is to say: it is because a creator possesses a given personality that he produces a given work. But never, amongst the characteris to say: it is because a creator possesses a given personality that he produces a given work. But never, amongst the characteristic specificities of a text to outline the psychological profile of an author and to draw a series of conclusions, in a dichotomy of various preaching. It would be vain to interpret the verses of Paul Celan "The black milk of dawn is drunk at sunset" as the gruesome representation of Auschwitz, the concentration camp where they were written; as also to call Ezra Pound a fascist as a consequence of a few interviews given during the war on Radio Rome where aesthetics and politics were cleverly blended.
thinkahol *

The Biology of Consciousness | WBUR and NPR - On Point with Tom Ashbrook - 0 views

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    "Renegade husband and wife philosophers Pat and Paul Churchland met forty years ago in a college Plato class. Their instincts as philosophers - then and now - run outside the philosophy mainstream. Where most philosophers looked to reason and logic to apprehend the human mind, the Churchlands looked - and look - to science. There is no independent "mind", these two practically say, just the human brain, three pounds of tissue and water, firing away behind all our emotions, beliefs, actions. Consciousness itself, they say, is straight biology, a machine. Once, that sounded esoteric. Now, it's on the frontline of debate over law, soul and life."
Robert Kamper

Bullying More Harmful Than Sexual Harassment On The Job, Say Researchers - 0 views

  • The authors distinguished among different forms of workplace aggression. Incivility included rudeness and discourteous verbal and non-verbal behaviors. Bullying included persistently criticizing employees' work; yelling; repeatedly reminding employees of mistakes; spreading gossip or lies; ignoring or excluding workers; and insulting employees' habits, attitudes or private life. Interpersonal conflict included behaviors that involved hostility, verbal aggression and angry exchanges. Both bullying and sexual harassment can create negative work environments and unhealthy consequences for employees, but the researchers found that workplace aggression has more severe consequences. Employees who experienced bullying, incivility or interpersonal conflict were more likely to quit their jobs, have lower well-being, be less satisfied with their jobs and have less satisfying relations with their bosses than employees who were sexually harassed, the researchers found. Furthermore, bullied employees reported more job stress, less job commitment and higher levels of anger and anxiety. No differences were found between employees experiencing either type of mistreatment on how satisfied they were with their co-workers or with their work. "Bullying is often more subtle, and may include behaviors that do not appear obvious to others," said Hershcovis.
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    Workplace bullying, such as belittling comments, persistent criticism of work and withholding resources, appears to inflict more harm on employees than sexual harassment, say researchers who presented their findings at a recent conference.
thinkahol *

Guinness is black stuff: Scientists say stout makes you bitter | Mail Online - 0 views

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    In an intriguing study, scientists have linked tart tastes with an unforgiving  mind. And the more conservative a person's views, the more their thoughts are  affected by their tastebuds.
franstassigny

J.Lacan and Zen ( Fr - Angl ) - 0 views

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    What is psychoanalysis, I asked someone who was hostile? Not teach it not to distinguish conscious from unconscious? - Yes, I replied. So, he concludes, it is a truism as stupid as the others, such as "when one is not great is that we are small." Can we say that the thought is not equal to the reflected consciousness is equal to the unconscious? -
franstassigny

Best of College of Lay Analysis ( angl-fr) fairness - 0 views

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    Psychoanalysts since Freud thought they passed psychoanalysis alone, and then only in the context of the analytic cure: set of mirrors where the "shrink" was even here the "knowing" possession of knowledge and discourse the man, his mental and psychic life? OR, the analyst, in principle ... is at the heart of the cure being "psychoanalysis" as an issue of transmission. He puts this object, emphasizing this no word could contain the whole truth. "There is no metalanguage". No words can all say anything. Word and things, words and ideas are lame to conjoin. Tinker, tinker, and see: the small screws never find their right ankles ... Why prohibit psychoanalysis, often when we saw outside the inner circle of Schools, to be also affected by this impossible? There had he not, in everyday life as an object of knowledge that few could pass, but contain them all?
Erich Feldmeier

Michel Poulin The Neurogenics of Niceness - UB NewsCenter - 0 views

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    "It turns out that the milk of human kindness is evoked by something besides mom's good example. ..The study, co-authored by Anneke Buffone of UB and E. Alison Holman of the University of California, Irvine, looked at the behavior of study subjects who have versions of receptor genes for two hormones that, in laboratory and close relationship research, are associated with niceness. Previous laboratory studies have linked the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin to the way we treat one another, Poulin says... "
anonymous

The Strange Neuroscience of Immortality - 0 views

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    "Hayworth has spent much of the past few years in a windowless room carving brains into very thin slices. He is by all accounts a curious man, known for casually saying things like, "The human race is on a beeline to mind uploading: We will preserve a brain, slice it up, simulate it on a computer, and hook it up to a robot body." He wants that brain to be his brain. He wants his 100 billion neurons and more than 100 trillion synapses to be encased in a block of transparent, amber-colored resin-before he dies of natural causes."
stephanie886

10 Extremely Romantic Quotes You Must Say To Your Loved once | QuotesDNA - 0 views

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    Check out the best Romantic Pictures and Love Quotes that you can share with your Loved Ones
thinkahol *

You can't fight violence with violence - opinion - 13 July 2010 - New Scientist - 0 views

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    The psychology of vengeance explains much about the state of the world and suggests the war on terror can never succeed, says Metin Basoglu
MrGhaz .

A Twittering of Birds: The Inscrutable World of Jargon - 0 views

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    Originally a French word meaning "the twittering of birds," jargon, in English, was applied to the codes used by criminals who did not want law-abiding citizens to know what they were saying. Today jargon words are coined not to confuse outsiders but because the objects, jobs, or situations they describe may have no equivalents outside a particular profession.
Robert Kamper

Armed with information, people make poor choices, study finds - 12 views

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    It's a cool study, but who wants to sit at a computer all day, getting paid to "take a test". "In a real-life scenario, a student who stayed home to study and then learned he had missed a fun party would be less likely to study next time in a similar situation -- even if that option provides more long-term benefits." This only proves that our current education system fails. Ask any student if they like school, they'll all say no. Hell, I'd rather be working then studying or doing homework, at least I get paid for it. Ask any post-grad and most will say they aren't working in the career they went to college for. So why should I study for a test to pass a course that means nothing to my future? Our current education system fails to do many things, it's a shame it's still broken.
thinkahol *

The grand delusion: What you see is not what you get - life - 16 May 2011 - New Scientist - 0 views

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    Your senses are your windows on the world, and you probably think they do a fair job at capturing an accurate depiction of reality. Don't kid yourself. Sensory perception - especially vision - is a figment of your imagination. "What you're experiencing is largely the product of what's inside your head," says psychologist Ron Rensink at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, Canada. "It's informed by what comes in through your eyes, but it's not directly reflecting it."
thinkahol *

On a diet? Try mind over milkshake - health - 05 June 2011 - New Scientist - 0 views

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    IF YOU want to lose weight, convince yourself that everything you eat is highly calorific. It could lower your levels of a hunger hormone, potentially suppressing your appetite. Alia Crum at Yale University and her colleagues gave 46 healthy volunteers the same 380-calorie milkshake but were told it was either a sensible, low-calorie choice or an indulgent, high-calorie one. The team also measured levels of ghrelin - a hormone released by the stomach when we are hungry - before and after participants drank the shake. Ghrelin levels have been shown to spike half an hour before mealtimes and return to normal after eating. Volunteers who thought they had indulged showed significantly greater drops in ghrelin levels than those who thought they had consumed less. The authors suggest that merely thinking that one has eaten something unhealthy can quell hunger pangs and perhaps help curb overeating (Health Psychology, DOI: 10.1037/a0023467). The study shows that food labels can affect consumption in unexpected ways, says David Cummings, an endocrinologist at the University of Washington in Seattle.
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