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Leyla Bonilla

I'm Sorry, I Don't Know, I Can't … | ThinkSimpleNow.com - 1 views

  • Do you find yourself saying the words I’m sorry or I don’t know often? Did you know that this over-sighted language pattern is actually limiting our potential to happiness and ultimately getting what we want?
  • If our conscious mind is indeed “in control” as we believe, then why do we sign up for gym memberships after new years and never go? Why it is that even after we’ve decided on something we really want (like a new hobby), we fail to take action on it?
  • While our conscious mind is the captain of our ship, our unconscious mind is the guys in the engine room, making the ship run. The ship moves because of the work done by these engine room guys. They listen to the commands from the captain, without question. They are exceptional at taking commands and executing them. Since the conscious mind has limited capacity and can only become aware of a very limited set of information, our unconscious mind only surfaces what we consider important. How does the unconscious mind know what’s important? It doesn’t. The unconscious mind determines this based on the frequency of commands it receives of the same topic from the conscious mind.
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  • Each time we have a conscious thought, or we verbalize words aloud, or see a scene in our imagination, it gets fed into our unconscious mind. Like a command from the captain, whether it is our intention or not, the command gets executed in some form; it leaves an impression on the unconscious mind.
  • At times, even for the smallest decision, we would shrug and say “I dunno”. Why? Because it’s an easy answer. We don’t have to think.
  • I recommend we reserve the words I’m sorry to situations when we really mean it, and need it to express our genuine feelings.
  • There is a difference between truly not knowing something and believing that you don’t know something. There’s also the connotation that you do not have the ability to decide or to learn something new. These words are repeated so causally that we start to rely on them out of laziness and habit.
  • if we repeatedly say I’m sorry each time we reply to emails after 2 days, then we’ve programmed ourselves to feel guilt whenever we do not respond to emails immediately.
  • Replace “I don’t know” when making a decision with an alternative phrase. Come up with a list of such alternatives. Here are some ideas: “Give me a moment, I have not decided yet.” “Let me think about it.” “I am evaluating my options.” “Hmmm. Let me see…” Action: List out the options and their pros and cons.
  • Being indecisive sends a similar message to the people around you. We tend to trust and rely on people who are decisive. It is a character strength; especially in business.
  • What we repeatedly do becomes our habits. And if we make a habit out of indecisiveness on small decisions, how will we react when we need to make important decisions in life, in business, or in relationships?
  • Consider the following scenario: Person A: “Where is the salt?” Person B: “On the kitchen shelf.” Person A: “I don’t see it.” Person B walks to where person A is standing, reaches over where person A is looking, and pulls out the salt bottle. It was right in front of person A. Have you been in such a scenario? I certainly have. Did person A truly not see the salt? Or did person A believe that she did not see the salt? Bingo!
  • Remember that our unconscious mind takes commands directly from our words? When we tell ourselves that we do not see something, we are passing the message to our unconscious mind in the form of a command. It proceeds accordingly and makes a note to stop passing anymore messages to the conscious mind when salt bottles are seen. Isn’t that funny?
  • When you want to say “I don’t remember where I put the keys?”, rephrase the question to “If I could remember, what would they be?”
  • Instead of saying “I don’t know how to.”, rephrase to “I have not learned how to do that yet, but I can learn.“
  • When we say I can’t do something, we’ve just declared impossibility as a definite answer. We are telling ourselves that we will never be able to do it, because we lack the necessary capabilities.
  • By saying we can’t do something, we are suggesting that we do not have the ability to learn, that we have given up, that we lack the potential that other gifted humans possess.
  • By saying we don’t have the time, we are impressing upon ourselves that we are very busy, making us feel important. It is an illusion. Yes, we may have a very full schedule, but when we say we don’t have time, it usually means that we just don’t want to do it. Not having enough time is an excuse. If it was important enough, we’d find the time
  • For starters, you don’t have to do anything! You know that. The world will not come to an end if you don’t do something (in most cases). We feel like we have to for one of two reasons: It brings you pleasure/benefit. ie. Something you enjoy doing. It reduces pain. ie. Losing a job or friendship, or an excuse not to do something else.
  • We are in control of our lives, and instead of saying I have to, replace it with I want to, or I am doing something because here are the benefits it brings me.
  • If you don’t want to do something, instead of giving people excuses starting with “I’d love to but, I have to…“, just gracefully say “Thanks for the invite, but I am resting at home tonight.” Or “Thank you. I have plans tonight. Maybe next time.
sandilangley

Knowing the Narcissist : HG Tudor ‹ Reader - WordPress.com - 0 views

  • I loved you. I loved you with passion, desire, attentiveness, excitement, mystery and kindness. All created from the morass of information that I had gathered about you which was layered onto my existing experience from previous relationships and my knowledge of how love operates in the world. I know that it worked. You fell for me hook, line and sinker and you became enveloped in my creation where you flourished, you shone and you bloomed. Your happiness radiated from you like sunbeams, the pleasure you took in us being together was tangible and all of those around us commented as such. It was marvellous, spectacular, wonderful and perfect.
  • You had no idea that my love was a creation. Why would you when not only did it match your concept of love but driven by my excellence it exceeded it? Why would you challenge something that felt so golden and so glorious? You would not. I gave you this love and you returned it. It was a match made in heaven. It was a transaction that suited us both. You received my scintillating synthetic love and you gave me the love that sustains me, that emotion infused reaction which powers and sustains me. We both were winners.
  • When I took you in my arms, shielding you from the black day that you had emerged from and you looked into my eyes and saw the love, the devotion and the optimism that burned there, did it really matter that I was mirroring what you showed me so long as it made you happy, elated and feel loved?
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  • When I unleashed my hatred you could not and still do not understand how someone could treat you like that when that person kept saying that he loved you.
  • It was easy to switch to this vicious malevolence. It was easy to peel back the veneer that was the manufactured love. It was easy to switch off the creation that I made that provided you with this perfect love. A flick of a switch and he ceased to exist, leaving you with something else instead. I did not lie when I said that I loved you. I did not lie when I whispered that I loved you. I did not lie when I shouted that I loved you. I just did not tell you the truth. The truth that I never felt love for you. Because I cannot do that.
thinkahol *

How to size up the people in your life - opinion - 15 August 2011 - New Scientist - 0 views

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    Why are we all so different? Here is a toolkit for finding out what people are really like IN THE 4th century BC, the Greek philosopher Theophrastus, Aristotle's student and successor, wrote a book about personality. The project was motivated by his interest in what he considered a very puzzling question: "Why it has come about that, albeit the whole of Greece lies in the same clime, and all Greeks have a like upbringing, we have not the same constitution of character?" Not knowing how to get at the answer, Theophrastus decided to instead focus on categorising those seemingly mysterious differences in personality. The result was a book of descriptions of personality types to which he assigned names such as The Suspicious, The Fearful and The Proud. The book made such an impression that it was passed down through the ages, and is still available online today as The Characters of Theophrastus. The two big questions about personality that so interested Theophrastus are the same ones we ask ourselves about the people we know: why do we have different personalities? And what is the best way to describe them? In the past few decades, researchers have been gradually answering these questions, and in my new book, Making Sense of People: Decoding the mysteries of personality, I take a look at some of these answers. When it comes to the origins of personality, we have learned a lot. We now know that personality traits are greatly influenced by the interactions between the set of gene variants that we happen to have been born with and the social environment we happen to grow up in. The gene variants that a person inherits favour certain behavioural tendencies, such as assertiveness or cautiousness, while their environmental circumstances influence the forms these innate behavioural tendencies take. The ongoing dialogue between the person's genome and environment gradually establishes the enduring ways of thinking and feeling that are the building blocks of personality. This de
Sue Frantz

Clinton named secretary of state - Nova Scotia News - TheChronicleHerald.ca - 0 views

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    Obama working to avoid groupthink: "I assembled this team because I am a strong believer in strong personalities and strong opinions," he said. "I think that's how the best decisions are made. One of the dangers in a White House, based on my reading of history, is that you get wrapped up in group-think and everybody agrees with everything and there's no discussion and there are no dissenting views. So I am going to be welcoming a vigorous debate inside the White House. "But understand, I will be setting policy as president. I will be responsible for the vision that this team carries out, and I will expect them to implement that vision once decisions are made."
Sarah Eeee

Hey interwebs! Can I have my brain back? | Ask MetaFilter - 0 views

  • What is it that makes the Internet so compelling to so many? Aside from the obvious fun and entertainment, educational and business opportunities, and show-offism; I think it boils down to a slogan taken from the eighties. No fear! The playing field is level. Size doesn't matter, really. Inhibitions and reservations are out the window. Internet life is people with diseases and addictions, exposing souls and sharing their recoveries. It's about overviews of history warning future generations not to repeat the mistakes of their predecessors. Sure there are a few kooks to throw us off guard, but mostly the Net is just us being ourselves without fear of reprisal. How refreshing. The Internet is people talking and sharing ideas. Our best and brightest, wallflowers and flower children, the girl next door and the Doc who delivered your kids. It's about you and me. We are all using our own cognizant voices, and we're listening too. We're challenging the status quo, and we're offering alternatives. Collaboration on a global scale all tied together by that simplest of cyber friendships, the hyperlink. Communication has never seen anything like it. I first considered all this ten years ago when that sociology study came out. Another ten years later, my life is even more enriched by the Internet. So to answer your question, I don't think it's the Internet that has whacked your brain, I think you might want to be looking elsewhere. If anything, the Internet is keeping you stimulated.
    • Sarah Eeee
       
      Some Metafilter users opinions on the Internet and attention span. Netbros takes a very optimistic approach, highlighting the wonderful communication realities & possibilities of the Internet. Still, I can't help but be convinced that my attention span has decreased as social networking has taken up an increasing proportion of my Internet use. When I was 10-11 years old (got my first computer with Internet access), I spent most of my time reading relatively long websites about all sorts of things. (Granted, I had been the kind of kid who read the encyclopedia and lots of non-fiction before we got a computer.) I'm 23 now, and my desktop is usually awash with tabs of news, blog posts, social networking sites, and an array of links I found from these aforementioned places. I hate to blame Twitter, Facebook, email, or any other social networking application. But still - I feel like my attention span has decreased, at a developmental stage when it should likely have increased (going from 10 years old to 23). What are your thoughts?
Chiki Smith

The Handbook of Cheating Changed The Way I Want My Marriage to Work - 1 views

My hubby and I were married for 2 years but we have been with each other for seven years before we got married. So, it was devastating when I discovered he is cheating on me with his co-worker. I r...

relationships advice

started by Chiki Smith on 15 Nov 11 no follow-up yet
thinkahol *

Keeping Marriage Alive with Affairs, Asexuality, Polyamory, and Living Apart | Psycholo... - 0 views

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    In my previous post, I introduced you to the first part of Pamela Haag's provocative new book, Marriage Confidential: The Post-Romantic Age of Workhorse Wives, Royal Children, Undersexed Spouses, and Rebel Couples Who Are Rewriting the Rules. The 21st century, she argues, is a post-romantic age of melancholy marriages. The couples are not acutely stressed nor entangled in constant conflict - they are just melancholy. They signed up for the marriage pact and lost a vital part of themselves in the process. In that first post, I reviewed some of the problems that Haag diagnosed as plaguing some contemporary marriages. Here, I will go through a few of them and tell you about some of the solutions Haag learned about in her research and interviews. Remember, her goal is not to generate alternatives to marriage but alternatives within marriage that have the potential to keep the marriages together. To longtime readers of Living Single, I bet you will anticipate the conclusion I am leading up to before you get to the end of this post.
Sarah Eeee

Ballastexistenz » Post Topic » "…knew the moment had arrived for killing the ... - 0 views

  • How many of the emotional and social problems autistic people have are actually related to being autistic?
  • And as I got into school, I became as subject to bullying by teachers as I was by other students.
  • . I couldn’t understand why people hated me so much, I hadn’t done anything to them other than exist near them. And eventually I just went numb. Nothing the few people in my life who did treat me like a person could do, was enough to counteract the fact that in the majority of my life I was treated more like a target. The only way I could deal with it was to cut off the parts of me that knew what it was like to be treated like a person.
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  • m telling it because assorted variants on these experiences are so close to universal among the autistic people I’ve known. How can you get a good idea of the social abilities or emotional range of a set of people who are treated like this from the moment we encounter other children, sometimes from the moment we encounter other people at all?
  • The myth of the refrigerator parent has been replaced with the myth of the refrigerator child, and many of our parents will believe the new refrigerator child myth.
  • The interesting part to me was that the social behavior of the children was not only often invisible to their parents, but often invisible to the people who worked at the Media Lab as well. I had to point out to them things like one child speaking to her mother and inquiring about her mother’s emotional state, another child’s affection, another child looking up at his mother’s face to gauge her feelings. We concluded that somehow through the camera person focusing on the mothers, combined with the mothers focusing on the camera people, the viewer’s focus was not on the social overtures of the children, who were then possible to describe as not engaging in social overtures even when they were very clearly affectionate, social, and concerned with their parents’ feelings.
    • Sarah Eeee
       
      Key point: People don't recognize social behaviors when they come from autistic children. Instead of observing what they see, they only see what they expect. There is ample evidence for how this could happen from distraction studies (tell someone to focus on members of the blue team, and they'll miss the gorilla dribbling the ball).
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    Interesting blog post considering the emotional impacts of having autism. The author questions whether some of the social difficulties considered diagnostic of autism are actually the result of discrimination. Definitely worth reading for anyone interested in autism and hearing from someone with autism.
Sonny Cher

Party All You Want After Work - 1 views

My current job ends at 10 in the evening. However, it is my friend's homecoming party and he invited me to come by after work. I knew I would definitely feel exhausted after work and I am afraid I ...

stimulants

started by Sonny Cher on 20 Apr 11 no follow-up yet
realservice093

Buy Google Reviews - 100% Permanent Positive 5 Star Reviews - 0 views

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    Buy Google Reviews Introduction You have come to the right place for real and authentic Google reviews. We provide you with high-quality, fast and reliable Google reviews that will help improve your business's online presence. We provide five star reviews on Google and other search engines such as Bing, Yahoo, etc. In addition to this, we also offer our clients a variety of other services such as: Why Buy Google Reviews From Us We are one of the most reputable companies in our industry. We have been in business for many years, and we have a good reputation among our customers. Our team is dedicated to providing them with excellent service and products at an affordable price. We offer a 100% money back guarantee on all our services, so if you don't like what we do or find us less than satisfactory, simply let us know and we'll refund your money immediately! Our customer service team is always available 24/7 should you need help with anything related to Google Reviews (or anything else). I want to buy google reviews I have been a Google user for years and have always wanted to buy google reviews. However, I was not sure where to start or what would be the best way to do it. Now that there are so many websites offering this service, I thought it would be helpful if we looked at some of them together in order to find out which one is the best fit for your needs. In this article, we will discuss why buying google reviews is important and how you can go about getting them from reputable sources like Trustpilot or Yel
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    Introduction You have come to the right place for real and authentic Google reviews. We provide you with high-quality, fast and reliable Google reviews that will help improve your business's online presence. We provide five star reviews on Google and other search engines such as Bing, Yahoo, etc. In addition to this, we also offer our clients a variety of other services such as: Why Buy Google Reviews From Us We are one of the most reputable companies in our industry. We have been in business for many years, and we have a good reputation among our customers. Our team is dedicated to providing them with excellent service and products at an affordable price. We offer a 100% money back guarantee on all our services, so if you don't like what we do or find us less than satisfactory, simply let us know and we'll refund your money immediately! Our customer service team is always available 24/7 should you need help with anything related to Google Reviews (or anything else). I want to buy google reviews I have been a Google user for years and have always wanted to buy google reviews. However, I was not sure where to start or what would be the best way to do it. Now that there are so many websites offering this service, I thought it would be helpful if we looked at some of them together in order to find out which one is the best fit for your needs. In this article, we will discuss why buying google reviews is important and how you can go about getting them from reputable sources like Trustpilot or Yelp! Buy Google Reviews Buying 5 star reviews on Google is safe. You can buy Google reviews from us. We will provide you with a good service and a good quality account from our team. We have been providing this service for many years now and we are sure that we can provide you the best service ever! Benefits of buying Google reviews You'll get more traffic and more customers. You'll get more sales. You'll make more profits. Your business will be trusted, respec
franstassigny

University of psychoanalysis. - 0 views

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    * Because as psychoanalysis works are meant to be read, and not to be piled, stacked, arranged, lined in bookshelves, our ideas are made to be called, published, discussed, proposed, otherwise they do not exist. * Because internet traffic movement, and it is better that our ideas are taken as living in a gangue of silence. * Because of the action as well as supports and validates the decision, I write (and I do not think it could be otherwise, here I assume that the subjective joined the lens, rather than the singular or my gesture joined the collective act of writing) and I can only write in a gesture that is continuous, that does not stop because everyday gestures come to intersect with it. Only there is a natural place for this, which is a space where one is asked to leave his name at the door and where the words flowing. * Because the dynamics of the publication supports the dynamics of writing, confirms, corroborates it.
franstassigny

Lacan était un imbécile ...Jacques Lacan Was a Fool by George Elerick - 0 views

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    Elerick attempts to interpret what it means to be a Christian in light of Lacan's famous, but asinine, proposition: "I think where I am not, therefore I am where I do not think." What should be immediately present to everyone who reads the proposition is that it is self-contradictory, for it at once denies the possibility of the individual subject to think itself (or re-present itself to itself) by affirming an inexorable fact about the Self, thereby speaking in absolute and universal terms and negating itself. In other words, if Lacan is right about the nature of the individual self/ego, then he is simultaneously wrong. And if he is wrong, which he is, then why bother with the man anymore?
anindayuni

How to Increase Testosterone Naturally - 0 views

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    It is probаblу good tо explain fіrst whу testosterone is іmpоrtаnt bеfоre I begin to explain ways to naturally boost testosterone levels. Hormones play a very іmрortant role іn оur bodies аnd аrе responsible for mаnу functions аnd activities. Тhe male hormone, testosterone, іs a key ingredient in a weight loss or muscle building program. Іt will help tо reduce fat retention and will аlsо maximize muscle building potential. There аrе numerous benefits tо increased levels оf testosterone, and hеre arе јust a few that аrе relevant fоr fat loss аnd muscle building: * Decrease in body fat percentage * Increase іn muscular size * Increase іn muscular strength * Increase іn muscular endurance There аre mаnу оthеr benefits that are nоt rеlated tо the muscle building equation. Thеse include improvement іn mood аnd a decrease in "bad" cholesterol. It is bесаuse оf thеse benefits that body builders focus a lot of attention оn ways to naturally boost testosterone levels. Іf you learn hоw tо increase testosterone naturally, you'll gеt all the benefits by following thеse easy ways to increase testosterone withоut any оf the negatives associated with steroids and other nasty supplements. 1 - Compound Exercises You're going to the gym anуwaу so changing уour workout tо focus оn mоre compound exercises will not be that difficult. Тrу tо build а weight lifting program that іs developed аrоund a core group of compound exercises lіke squats, deadlifts, bаck rows, bench presses, chin uрs, and оthеrs thаt use sevеrаl large muscle groups rather focusing оn a small muscle. I'm not sауіng to completely ignore isolation exercises for smaller muscles, just tо refocus the workout tо include more compound lifts. 2 - Heavy Weights The harder уоu work іn the gym, the harder yоur body will work tо help thе recovery. Weights саn help tо increase testosterone naturally?
Pump Wat

Best Quality Clean Water Pumps - 1 views

In the previous months, I was looking for quality water pumps for my house that will ensure safe drinking water for my family. I have asked several friends where I could possibly look for the best ...

water pumps

started by Pump Wat on 15 Sep 11 no follow-up yet
Sonny Cher

Energy Pills for Extra Energy - 2 views

I am always tired after working for the whole day. And my boyfriend is already mad at me because he felt neglected. I do not have time for him to go out on a date because I do not have the energy t...

Legal highs

started by Sonny Cher on 06 May 11 no follow-up yet
thinkahol *

The Blog : What's the Point of Transcendence? : Sam Harris - 0 views

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    I certainly didn't mean to suggest that transcendent experiences are "beyond the purview of science." On the contrary, I think they should be studied scientifically. And I don't believe that these experiences tell us anything about the cosmos (I called Deepak Chopra a "charlatan" for making unfounded claims of this sort). Nor do they tell us anything about history, or about the veracity of scripture. However, these experiences do have a lot to say about the nature of the human mind-not about its neurobiology, per se, but about its qualitative character (both actual and potential). So, to answer Jerry's question: yes, many things follow from these transcendent experiences. Here's a short list:
Chiki Smith

Effectively Seize Cheating Partner - 1 views

I am in a relationship for two years. My husband and I were okay until such time that he turned out cold to me and I could not point out the reason why he acted that way. He came home late at night...

cheating partners

started by Chiki Smith on 14 Oct 11 no follow-up yet
Sonny Cher

Just the Thing to Enhance My Mood - 1 views

Just recently, I am going through a broken heart, all because of the only girl I ever loved for 5 years. The moment I decided to confess, I saw her with my best friend and knew that they are alread...

legal drugs

started by Sonny Cher on 23 May 11 no follow-up yet
Syntacticsinc SEO

IT Solutions That Really Work - 1 views

I am planning to build up and improve my website for my business and I was thinking of choosing the best IT company that can meet my requirements for my website and optimize it to make it easier fo...

web designing

started by Syntacticsinc SEO on 24 Sep 11 no follow-up yet
Keith Sweat

How Mandurah Real Estate Changed My Life - 1 views

Ever since I decided to take my residence in Mandurah Real Estate, I have enjoyed the benefits that living inside a safe and beautiful neighborhood brings. I now have a very stunning and comfortabl...

Mandurah Real Estate

started by Keith Sweat on 13 Jul 11 no follow-up yet
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