Group items tagged

Convention- Incorrect spelling

Convention- wrongly capitalized

Convention- order would make more sense here

Convention- sentense doesn't make sense

Convention-sentence doesn't make sense

Convention- sentence doesn't make sense

Convention- and/or

Convention- commas are needed around "although not acceptable in today's society"

Convention- doesn't make sense

Convention- should just be Levin

Convention- should be "and of making a choice"

Convention- Levin

Convention-Levin

Convention- Levin

Convention- Levin

Convention- sentence doesn't make sense

Convention- This is wrong. The mother said she would want to administer the torture not just watch.

Convention- Levin

Convention- Levin

Convention- doens't make sense

Convention- parts of sentence don't make sense, wrong tense used for reason

Convention- commas needed around "when needed", need to specify who has no knowledge

Convention- sentence changes tense

Convention- should be "and is considered Lincoln's"

Convention- sentence doesn't make sense

Convention- doesn't make sense

Convention- This is wrong. Foner is just citing "sentiments that are likely to be with us for some time to come." The article is actually about how he thinks "the most patriotic act of all is the unyielding defense of civil liberties."

Convention- commas are also needed around the quote

Convention- doesn't make sense

Convention- the authors have a similar style of writing not the magazine

Convention- Levin

Convention- This is wrong. As I stated earlier Foner completely disagrees with these actions and McCullagh never even says that he agress with the actions taken by our government.

Convention- doesn't make sense

Organization- The closing doesn't really relate to the rest of the paper. Ethics is only mentioned one time before this.

Organization- There is no opening to the paper. You go right into discussing your first article instead of introducing your main idea.

Convention- Ursula

Convention- Levin

Convention- Levin

Assignment Parameters- The paper does not really reflect the idea that was assigned. There is only one reference to rhetorical basis and style (pathos, logos, or ethos). You didn't always state whether the author was for or against torture. You also didn't really mention anything about the credentials or authority of any authors or sources so there was nothing about how this affects the success of the message. You also did not research any additional articles on torture so there was obviously no discussion about their specific claims or how they use situation and fact.

Organization- There are a lot of good details used in the paragraphs about LeGuin's story but many of the things talked about do not relate to the topic. The first two paragraphs are good discussion on the story but don't relate to the subject of torture and there is no mention about how this author uses rhetorical strategies.

You use a lot of good details and quotes throughout the paper but the fact that you have incorrect references and have the whole idea of Foner's article wrong might make your paper look unreliable.

The paper doesn't tie together very well. For one of the authors you talked about rhetoric, for one you talked about different aspects of the plot and for some you gave too much review of the information in the article and not enough about the message they were trying to portray and the writing style they used to get it across to the readers.

The paragraphs about Levin are good. You use details that help develop your ideas and also state what kind of rhetoric style he uses to persuade his readers.

The paragraphs about McCullagh have too much review and not enough of your ideas on his writing style, message or credentials.

The paragraph about Foner's article is really confusing to me. Not only are your references not accurate with his article but I don't understand that sentence about how he claims "his views on terrorism by bringing people right of speech"?

Your bibliography page is also supposed to be in MLA format, not just the link to the website.

I like how the author responded to this concern by citing examples from other childrens books and also giving logical reasons why these issues are addressed in childrens books.

In this sentence we see that the defender has a clear understanding about what the argument is

The author makes a good arguement here and supports his point very well. The fact that he wrote a book on the subject makes you believe that he knows alot about the topic and that his views about preserving our individual liberties are correct.

Basically saying "I know more, if not as much as you do. So I'm probably right." Haha

Yes i agree with Cybil, he basically just said that he knows his stuff in this subject matter.

This small statement is a way of persuading the reader. Without this piece of information, the reader may not trust the Board of Trustees or care about them.

I agree, this statement provides an understanding of the authority of the Board of Trustees.

This statement shows the reader that they will make an informed decision and not a biased one.

After stating that children's books deal with many different things, she went on to provide examples. This is important in persuading the reader to believe what she is saying.

I like the way Mr. Larue stated that children's books can deal with anything and everything, even things that may be inappropriate because it is relevant to the situation that those books are allowed at the library.

By showing that other children's books deal with issues about anything and everything it shows that all childrens books aren't always happy.

I dont think that this paragraph is defended well at all. I am absolutely not convinced in this paragraph. Just because there are many disturbing childrens books does not make them right.

Again, she's providing specific examples--very effective. I thought it was interesting that she used an exclamation point instead of a simple period to end this statement. I think the point of it is to persuade the reader even more to listen to her. It's kind of like saying "hey, listen to this statement, it's important, and I'm completely right!"

I love the part about the children's stories, it's so true! A great reminder to the reader to help get their point across.

I agree with Angela. By stating these examples, he is more likely to persuade.

This is important in persuading the reader. She is going on further to prove her point.

Whoops, I mean he!

Yes i agree, this was a good way to further persuade the reader.

Nice comment!

This is good that they explained what actually defines the children's book since earlier on in the piece they said that the topic wasn't what defined it.

Ethos! He wrote a book on the topic, making the reader think that he knows what he's talking about and that he is trustworthy.

Wow! I bet that response was a bit of a sock. I would hate to strike an argument with someone who was a professional on the subject, especially if I didn't know they were beforehand.

The Author shows much credibility on the subject, with this sentence.

This is definitely a great way to persuade the reader. He's throwing out facts from the dictionary to prove his point. And the fact that he states that definitions and legal rights change is very true. Also, stating that gay marriage is legal in some parts of the country is great. I think he did a really good job in this particular paragraph.

I think the first definition sort of weakened his argument about gay marriage, seeing as how the first definition says "relation between husband and wife." I would have also added an updated version of Webster's definition of marriage to see if the wording has changed. He goes on to say that word definitions change, but just because you have a 1960s definition of "dog," and say that word definitions change, does not mean that that specific word's meaning will be the one that changes.

I feel that definitions from the dictionary are a great way to prove yourself. He is telling her the facts, you can't argue with that. But I do agree with Dena. The first definition does weaken his argument.

The fact that he states that gay marriage is legal in some parts of the country, is a good point in explaining to the reader that if something is legal, they can't say that writing a book about it is inappropriate.

This is a very good point also.

He brings up a good point by explaining that not everyone shares the same opinions and a good bit of the material present will recieve mixed feelings.

I think it also helps that he earlier showed that he was opened to multiple views not just his own.

Great point. The purpose of a library is to educate people. Many people go to the library for a general knowledge of many different topics. If someone personally wants to censor what they or there children read, that should be a personal decision.

I agree with all of them, this is a great point.

He brings up a good point that he objects to certain books, but it doesn't mean that other people and cultures don't enjoy them. I also like the fact that he states that the library doesn't endorse any of the books people may deem innapropriate but they are there for people who want them.

I think that this a good point. There are many things that are disagreeable and should be disagreeable

He is being very respectful about the whole issue.

You do not find that to often.

Jamie does a good job explaining his decision, while still being respectful of the womans views. I personally think this shows a reflection of his character.

this was good very persuasive.. ( it's like the old saying " kill people with kindness) she cannot get mad at the way he ended this.

That was very reputable of Jamie to respond to the fact that the woman does care about her family and this is why she raised the issue. It shows how respectful of others he is.

I like the way he ended this on a positive note even though he didn't give the decision that the patron wanted.

I really like how he said this. It shows that he is very respectful. I also agree with Alex, this does show the a reflection of his character.

I like how the author even looks into the sources provided by the individual filing the complaint. This shows that he has truly looked over the claims and is taking the issue seriously.

Yes, i agree with Garrett on this one. I like how the author looked over the source to let it be known that the author know's what he is talking about.

The usage of specific examples to show that not all children's stories have happy endings is very effective.

This statement shows that while some may find certain things inappropriate, the same things may be hepful to others. And in this case, a similar book proved to be a helpful tool for a different mother.

This is a valid statement. Different personal circumstances allow for different interpretations of things. What may be helpful to one person, may be innapropriate to another.

Assures the reader that their feelings have been considered. Very persuasive.

Here, we assume that the laws and regulations have been thought over and agreed upon by a credible authority. The last sentance in this paragraph is very important. When running a public service there is always going to be someone that is unhappy. Utilitarianism is important in making these decisions, "the greatest good for the greatest number".

I agree with Cybil here. As I start reading this article I become more and more convinced that the Board of Trustees are a credible source.

Jamie describes the rules and regulations of public libraries here. He is building his case with firm evidence that will help the woman understand his decision.

I agree with you completely. By him bring up the rules states that he is bringing up facts. With facts behind the decision that he is making the lady can't really say that he is wrong she can only have a opinion since he has a fact.

I agree with the both of you. You two said it all.

This is very persuasive because the person defending the piece seems to be well educated. A good education is one of the most credibe factors concerning a person.

He shows that he is making his own decisions, and researching the topic. Jamie wants to understand why there is an issue and gain supportive evidence why he makes the decision that he does.

In making a constructive argument for a position, the sympathy of the woman is needed. Obviously she thinks strongly about her opinion, and swaying her mind is not going to be easy. Clarifying the situation in a non assertive manner is a step forward in making his case.

In an argument it is extremely important to be able to understand the position of the other person. The Author does a great job portraying this in this paragraph.

Making sense of the world is not an easy thing. Intorducing children to very real circumstances when they are young gives them an advantage in dealing with issues that will undoubtedly face them in their lifetime. I dont think it is how long someone can sugar coat that shapes personal opinions, but experience and informed decision making.

Once again I am absolutely not convinced by this. This is just one mans opinion. My opinion is that children's books are supposed to be entertaining. I dont think a five year old needs to understand the world.

Censorship has long been banned and for good reason. Everyone wants freedom of speech for themself, but not necesarily for others. Parents are there to give guidence, and support. Not to censor their childrens lives and introduce them to a non-existent world.

I agree with Alex on that. Even though the books involve parental guidence, it isn't the parents job to formulate their opinions by themselves. I completely agree that people want everyone else censored, but at the same time want to be able to say whatever they want. It can't work both ways.

I agree with Alex, people want censorship, but only when its not them being censored. It can't work both ways.

Why else would children books be used. They are stories that most times use fantasy and fiction to teach a lesson.

It is a good point that not all parents are looking for the same thing. One parent may want to teach their kids to accept gay people and another may teach them that its wrong and to not accept them.

This also portrays that the Author is credible. In this paragraph the author makes clear that he understands the womens arguments about the piece. By this paragraph the lady arguing against the piece can better understand what the author has to say.

This is much more convincing. There are examples where some disturbing children books can be good.

This is convincing. The women can look this up to see if it is a credible source.

I defenitely agree that a book about homosexuality is innaproprite for a child.

This is true. People should have rights. I dont think homosexuality is wrong. I do think it is wrong though when it is put into Children's books. I think this abnormal psyche could harm youth.

How can a child make such a decision?

This should be "connected," not "connect."

I believe that there should be a comma in between the word "said" and "All" before your quote. Also, Foner's name at the end of the quote should be capitalized.

I think this is a very good point. It seems like you really took a lot of time to analyze the works. Good job!

The word "is" should be "if."

I like the way this was said. It's very true!

I like your introduction. It's good that you explained what rhetoric was and how it's used because when writing pubilcly, all readers may not know exactly what you're talking about.

I like that you used the word "tackles" instead of some other not-so-exciting verbs.

Conventions-I didn't mean to pick on your grammer and puncuation, but that was all I could really pick on! The rest of your paper, I thought, was very good. Most of the stuff I could critique involved small grammatical errors, (which everyone makes), especially on papers.

Oh, also, in the Conventions area, your references were correct. You used the correct format and used in-text citations, so there is definitely no plagiarism is present.

Assignment Parameters-I thought you did a VERY good job with keeping on topic. You explained everything that you needed to explain to the reader including if the author's credentials effected their work, what rhetoric they used, etc. It was easy to understand exactly what you were saying.

This is a very good analysis.

Style-You chose good words to use, making the paper not boring. You switched some of the verbs and descriptions you used, which is very important, especially in a long paper. Your sentences varied with construction, which is also a good thing. You kept your opinion out of the paper and kept the point of view as being non-biased.

Overall I thought your paper was very good. I can tell you really took time to analyze the works, figure out what the author was attempting to say, and answer all the questions that were assigned.

It won't let me highlight another section that was already highlighted, but I really liked that you used "tugging heartstrings" to describe the use of pathos.

i think you mean it provides them a place to voice their issues

'in the form of a forum' might make more sense

'could' might be more appropriate since the site is still there and still has users

kind of makes the sentence confusing

avoid the words 'you' and 'your'.. remember the point of view writing tip that we were supposed to read a few weeks ago!

here is the link: http://usfcomposition.wikispaces.com/Writing+Tip+1

if there supposed to be a connecting word here?

confusing.. what is 'it'?

should be plural

'with knowing' should be replaced with a word like 'about'

you don't need to say actually twice

doesn't make sense

you should add something like 'with the idea' between these two words

kind of confusing.. might make more sense to say 'relates the schoolwork to basketball' or 'incorporates their schoolwork and basketball'

sentence is not very clear

'shows' might make more sense than 'has'

confusing

refer back to what I said about avoiding you and your earlier.. you use them a lot in these sentences

'use' could sound better

not very clear

POV- avoid 'you'

'in search of help' might make more sense

you don't need to say both 'in the future' and 'as the years progress'.. they kind of mean the same thing

change of tense

this is not needed and makes your sentence sound very repetitive

no space needed

word choice makes this sound confusing

what does this mean?

change of tense

repetitive.. you just used this sentence

You use some very good details and have some good ideas for improving this webpage.

You had some confusing sentences but I'm sure if you fixed those your paper would be much more clear and easy to read.

I wouldn't go as far to say that I am particularly "good" at cooking but it is something that I enjoy. I did an internship during my senior year in high school at Publix Supermarkets in their photography studio where we shot all of the photos for the weekly sales ad that they produce. It was really interesting to see how much work goes into preparing the different meals for photographing. They brought in a food stylist to "style" the food to make it look the best it could for the shot. Ever since then when I cook I almost worry more about the presentation than anything which, often leads to sacrifice in taste.

A food stylist. There's a job I never knew existed. Cool.

I don't seem to be passionate about much, but cooking is definitely one of them. I watch the Food Network Channel almost religiously. I use cooking as an escape from regular life because it is one thing that I can really control. I like knowing that not only are there concrete ways to make something, it's okay to stray away and do your own thing. I started cooking because in my family, girls are expected to start making food early. I just got lucky that I really liked the idea of cooking. I've taken a few baking classes and really wanted to major in culinary arts, but science just seemed more practical. Food is one thing that I can easily move from culture to culture and have now learned what spices go with what places. I'm glad that I have grown up with Indian food all my life because I find that starting to cook Indian has made it easier for me to cook other types of food. It also gives me something to connect to with the women of my family because sharing recipes is something I can finally be a part of. Cooking is something that comes in handy with many things and my passion for it keeps building with every new thing I make. I realized that if I could be anything, it would be a host on my own cooking show, but since I feel better on the other side of the screen, a hobby is all it will be.

Cooking is a pretty big deal in my family. Pretty much everyone in my family is an excellant cook, including both of my parents, grandparents and all of my aunts and uncles. This is more than likely due to the fact that my heritage is predominantly Italian and Italian people historically love to cook and eat as well. Nonetheless, cooking is something I consider myself very good at and apparently others do as well, as I have received numerous compliments on my cooking. As in a restaurant, where customer satisfaction is all that matters, your main objective as a cook is for whoever you're cooking for to be completely satisfied with the meal that you've prepared. It feels good and satisfying to know that your cooking was enjoyed and appreciated. Even though I really enjoy cooking, a hobby is all it will ever be. I don't plan on making a career out of it. In fact, I only started to cook almost out of necessity. Both of my parents, who are now seperated, work for the airlines, with my dad being a pilot and my mom being a flight attendant. Me and my younger brother live at home with my dad, so while my dad is out of town flying, which is usually for about five days out of the week, I've taken on the responsibility of cooking for my brother and whatever friends he has over. Not only does home cooking save a bunch of money, but if you learn how to do it right, you don't need to sacrifice the quality of the food by not eating out. There's also a freedom about cooking that I enjoy. When you go to a restaurant theres specific things to chose from, but when you cook at home, you're menu is limitless. Cooking also gives me a chance to put my own twist on classic meals and make them to better suit my own taste and the other people who i'm cooking for as well.

I'm pretty sure I have ADD because I am the man at this. Whether it's in class, at work, or studying my mind is never where it should be. I always find myself losing focus on what I'm working on. One of my favorite things to wonder about is business ideas. I never seem to have enough money so; I'm always trying to think of new ways to produce a little extra cash flow. Nothing has ever followed through, unfortunately, although I have had some good ones

Its strange that of all the words listed i would pick wondering, but its the one that applies to me the most. I grew up as an only child and as such I had to invent ways to keep myself entertained. I love reading and watching movies but i can spend hours just daydreaming.

I think I am equally as good at laughing as I am at offending. I think the two go hand in hand. I don't really know how one can be good at laughing, it just sort of happens. It's the sense of humor that makes it happen. In my opinion if you can dish it out you better be able to take it. My personality involves a lot of laughing; not at other people's expense per se, but I definitely find a lot of things funny in my everyday life. Keeping a good sense of humor about you allows you to not take life so seriously. There tends to be a lot of ironic circumstances in life that are just too peculiar not to laugh at. However, with that comes the occasional offending comment. Some people do not understand my offhand sarcasm. Or my witty banter. I would also include that one of my favorite things to say online or in texting is LOL. Or Hahaha. But this is not granted so easily. I am not the type of person that finds everything funny, because it would devalue the truly hilarious things in life. I am not easily offended, but I can tell when a joke contains an offensive truth. Unfortunately, I do find myself taking it too far or not understanding why a person gets upset, because I'm so used to being easygoing about these things. There are a lot of times when I have to say "Aww, come on, you know I'm just kidding…".

When I looked at this list of words the one that jumped out at me the most was laughing. I have a great sense of humor; I love to laugh and to make other people laugh. I would say that I'm really good at cheering up my friends and family whenever they are upset about something. I believe that people really like that about me. Life would be way too serious without a good laugh wherever you can find one! Sarcasm is one of my favorite types of humor. I am very sarcastic about a lot of things. Many times people are amused by it but sometimes they can get offended! Most people understand though and know I'm just kidding! I also love watching comedians like Mitch Hedberg or Dane Cook. They always give me a good laugh!

When looking at this assignment, the word "instructing" stood out to me above all others. It's a weird thing to claim to be good at, but I believe that I am great at instructing. It's not that I'm a bossy person; I just tend to be a huge perfectionist. Usually in group situations I would rather be the leader than a follower because I like giving out orders and instructing people to complete certain tasks. When I took cooking classes with my friends and older sister I unintentionally was always the one giving people their jobs for the day. Maybe I have a slight OCD problem but it just bothers me if things are not organized to my liking so I would rather delegate and make sure things go according to plan. Instructing can also be used in terms of teaching, which I am equally good at. I usually can break material down into simpler and more understanding terms and teach it to someone who is having difficulty grasping those particular concepts. When I took chemistry my sophomore year of high school, my best friend at the time, was struggling every class period and couldn't understand the concepts the way our professor would teach them. Because I did, I was able to break down the lessons and teach it to her in a way that she had no problem comprehending. I guess in certain ways, instructing is one of my best qualities as well as my worst. It makes me an excellent tutor but also a slightly controlling team member. I think I just need to realize everything doesn't have to be perfect.

I believe that I am good at listening. Whenever a friend or anyone in general needs to vent about someone or something, I always try my best to be available. I actually listen and for the most part, if I am not overwhelmed with occurences in my life, I genuinely care. I offer advice when I feel it is necessary. Even if I give bad advice, or even if they do not take it, I still offer it just in case they decide to use it. Having someone that is able and willing to listen to you, whether good or bad news, helps to release stress. Although I think I am a good listener, I am horrible at talking. I do not like to share my feelings with many people. The only emotions I do show are when I am happy or excited. When I am sad or unhappy I do not like to share those feelings with anyone because I do not want to burden other people with my troubles. Even though I feel like sharing my troubles with my friends produces stress for them, I have been told that not talking to them stresses them out more than if I had just talked to them in the first place. So for anyone who is listening and cares to take it, my advice is don't keep your feelings to yourself because it just brings more stress to everyone involved! Let your friends and family know what is going on in your life and both you and them will be less stressed.

I believe that I am a pretty social person, considering that I am good at both listening and talking. I try my best to listen to people's problems when they need to talk, and I appreciate when they do the same for me. I believe that I have always been good at this, especially through all the high school "drama" with boys, stresses, and fights. All of my friends, especially my best friends, know that they can come to me whenever they have any issue that they need advice on or they just need to get something off their chests. They all know that I won't judge them, I will only listen and give my honest input when I feel that it is needed. I think that good listening skills are a very important trait to have.

I would have to say that writing on an interesting topic is one of my favorite things to do. I enjoy all sorts of writing. In writing you either do research and learn allot about a particular topic. Writing is also a means of expressing oneself. One is able to express who one is or where one has been. How much history would we know if our ancestors did not write it down? If Lewis and Clark never wrote in a journal we would know nothing of their travels into the West. I enjoy writing and am fairly good at it because I understand its importance. Many papers that I have written have described my most memorable experiences. Many others have described who I am and what my life has been like. Writing is a way to never be forgotten. Someone may read one of my papers one hundred years from now and know much more about me than a classmate which I never speak with. I am good at writing and enjoy it very much because I think it is one of the best ways in expressing oneself to the world around us. The one thing that I dont enjoy is writing about uninteresting topics. I love writing about history or people. One topic that I dont think I would enjoy writing about would be Physics or Chemistry. I enjoy and am good at writing if it is a topic that I am interested in.

I feel that I am good at writing. It may not even be that I am good at writing, or just that I feel good when I am writing. It doesn't matter if I am writing a poem, lyrics to a song, or writing a novel that I hope one day to finish- when I'm writing, I am at peace. I feel so in control when I write, and at the same time, I feel so helpless how the words just pour from my fingers so effortlessly. I suppose it's only fitting that I would be a writer. Both my parents have an amazing way with words. The first time I came home from spending time with my dad at the age of 16, the letter he gave me to read on the plane ride home brought tears to my eyes. And the sheer passion I see in my mother's eyes when I see her teaching her journalism class tells me that had she made different choices earlier in life, she would be a fearless journalist, desperately seeking the true story behind a political scandal, or a famous novelist like the great authors she looks up to with such high regard. Yes, there is no question that part of my writing abilities comes from both my parents, but the way I write is my own. Whether I am angrily blogging, or happily jotting down haikus, I feel the most like myself when I have a pen in one hand and a notebook propped by my knees cradling my left hand as it scrawls across the pages, or at my computer with a blank screen yearning to be filled with thoughts.

Reading is something I really enjoy. My mom and dad both read a lot and since I was little they always encouraged me to do the same. I'm not very good at writing but I appreciate others' talents. One of my favorite authors is Chuck Palahniuk. I have read many of his books and find the way he tells the story to be very interesting and unique. I wish I could write like that! I regret that I don't read as often as I used to but since I started college I've been pretty busy reading textbooks instead of novels!