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Home/ ENC1102-706F08/ Contents contributed and discussions participated by Dena Rennie

Contents contributed and discussions participated by Dena Rennie

Dena Rennie

Gutierrez Michael - 0 views

shared by Dena Rennie on 25 Nov 08 - Cached
  • Countries around the Globe
    • Dena Rennie
       
      Countries and Globe do not need to be capitalized.
  • Countries and Continents
    • Dena Rennie
       
      These don't need to be capitalized either.
  • After reviewing all the research I had collected, I decided to concentrate my efforts on the Continent of Africa. The social injustices and corruption concerning Africa is mind boggling.             For this particular assignment I decided to get involved with ACORD.
    • Dena Rennie
       
      This part sounds very redundant. I would try rewording this in a way so it doesn't sound so bland. You use the phrase "I decided" within two sentences of each other and they sit almost directly on top of one another.
  • ...2 more annotations...
  • It is an Africa
    • Dena Rennie
       
      I'm guessing you mean "African"
    • Dena Rennie
       
      Overall, fairly well written. There are several grammatical errors, and words that are capitalized that don't need to be. I thought we were only supposed to write about one online community, not a variety- so I'm a little confused on that end. Maybe you could center your focus to a couple of sites and list them, that way it seems a little more credible and people who may become interested in can have a starting point as to where they get involved.
Dena Rennie

Natassia Watson - 0 views

shared by Dena Rennie on 25 Nov 08 - Cached
    • Dena Rennie
       
      You did a fantastic job with this project, I really can't think of anything to add to help you make revisions. About the only thing I can think of would be to give the what the acronym UNICEF stands for, but you did explain what it does, so that is useful as well. Overall, this is a great paper- hope you do well!
Dena Rennie

Project 2 rough draft - 0 views

shared by Dena Rennie on 06 Nov 08 - Cached
  • adamentaly
    • Dena Rennie
       
      I could be wrong but I think this is misspelled.
  • different
    • Dena Rennie
       
      Try finding another word besides different, it has popped up quite a few times within the first paragraph, and it's a little overload. Usually you don't want to use a specific word more than two times within a paragraph (three if it's a very large paragraph, definitely no more than that)
  • Election
    • Dena Rennie
       
      Election doesn't need to be capitalized
  • ...3 more annotations...
  • There has been much debate about the candidates for this year’s election.
    • Dena Rennie
       
      This first sentence seems a little awkwardly worded.
  • bama’s Written rhetoric is clear in
    • Dena Rennie
       
      1) Written doesn't need to be capitlized. 2) This paragraph seems like it stops short. It feels there should be more depth to it. One example is easily to manipulate into saying that "well that's just a one time thing, he did this some other time." The more examples you have, the stronger your argument will be. =)
  • McCain uses visual rhetoric in his speeches and debates as well. H
    • Dena Rennie
       
      Same thing applies here as the paragraph above. The more examples you have, the stronger your argument. Make sure you have reputable sources as well.
Dena Rennie

Janice 1 - 0 views

shared by Dena Rennie on 03 Nov 08 - No Cached
  • Barak Obama
    • Dena Rennie
       
      You might wanna double check the spelling on that, I'm pretty sure it's "Barack."
  • Right now this country needs a collectivist mindset.
    • Dena Rennie
       
      This seems to be the general thesis of the paper, but I don't see any evidence truly supporting this statement. It goes from trying to state that McCain is wrong for the job, but then you go on to discuss their rhetoric of the debate, and not mentioning anything on why Obama would be the better candidate, or supporting evidence of why McCain has an individualistic mindset.
  • compassionate
    • Dena Rennie
       
      I don't think this is the right word here. I think you mean these are the issues of which he is most passionate.
  • ...5 more annotations...
    • Dena Rennie
       
      It kind of feels as if the paper ends rather abruptly. A conclusion that sort of sums the idea of the paper up might help buffer that. Also, there are a lot of grammatical errors throughout this paper that need to be gone back over- mainly missing commas here and there, and couple phrases that don't seem like the right words. Also, I didn't see any citations in the paper. You definitely need to go back through and add them into your paper.
  • s “Senat
    • Dena Rennie
       
      any time you have a direct quote, you always need a comma before the quote starts, and then before the quote ends, unless it's the end of a sentence (in which case it needs the proper punctuation). words, "Senator Obama doesn't understand,"
  • Barak Obama
    • Dena Rennie
       
      You might want to double check the spelling. I'm pretty sure it's "Barack"
  • As a matter of fact, John McCain used a certain gesture with his hands whenever he felt the need to emphasize a point which, to me, showed a bit of frustration on his part. 
    • Dena Rennie
       
      It almost feels as if this might need to be a new paragraph. It goes from discussing his verbal rhetoric to his visual rhetoric, so maybe you might want to add more about his spoken rhetoric than on his visual rhetoric before you jump into that. Or you might want to add more about Obama's verbal rhetoric and that might add some balance.
  • Barak Obamas
    • Dena Rennie
       
      *Barack Obama's
Dena Rennie

myliblog: Uncle Bobby's Wedding - 0 views

  • that that kind of decision is up to the parents, not the library. Because here's the truth of the matter: not every parent has the same value system.
Dena Rennie

Brian Russo - 0 views

shared by Dena Rennie on 16 Oct 08 - No Cached
  • Michael Levin
    • Dena Rennie
       
      You need a tab here if it's a new paragraph. =)
  • as torture is justified only to save lives (not extort confessions or recantations), it is justifiably administered only to those known to hold innocent lives in their hands. Ah, but how can the authorities ever be sure they have the right malefactor? Isn't there a danger of error and abuse? Won't we turn into them?”
    • Dena Rennie
       
      I don't know if you're using MLA format or not- but you might need to site this at the end of the quote.
  • “Self-imposed silence is as debilitating to a democracy as censorship.”
    • Dena Rennie
       
      what's the source on this?
  • ...10 more annotations...
  • House Majority Leader Dick Armey
    • Dena Rennie
       
      Can you think of any other way to word that? I know that's his title, but that seems really awkward reading it.
  • t "We
    • Dena Rennie
       
      comma after *that*
  • McCullaghs
    • Dena Rennie
       
      need an apostrophe unless you're talking about more than one McCullagh.
  • In 1978
    • Dena Rennie
       
      you need a comma after the year.
    • Dena Rennie
       
      Really good work overall, your biggest problem seemed to be grammatical errors which are the easiet to make. I don't know what sort of formatting you are using, which makes it hard to judge on what you should and should not site- but other than that I think it's a really good paper. Also- if you have your works cited page ready, that would be good to post sometime soon. Depending on what format style you used, mistakes are easily made with that as well. (p.s.- sorry it's so late, these last couple of weeks have been really hectic for me and I'm trying to get caught back up in all my classes! =/ my bad!)
    • Dena Rennie
       
      also, after reading over it once again, the last half of the paper seems a little less organized than the first half. The first part flows very well, but the last couple of paragraphs seems to jump ideas a little bit. You might try rewording the first sentences of the paragraphs and that should help it.
  • f Declan McCullagh’s dissertation on the
    • Dena Rennie
       
      you might wanna site where you found out its his dissertation. I don't think I remember reading that in the article.
    • Dena Rennie
       
      I like how you positioned these two paragraphs together since they were similar articles. I felt both had a lot of similar content and made it flow very nicely.
  • cCullaghs comments somewhat mirror those of Foner’s, as he gives a brief history
    • Dena Rennie
       
      I think this statement should probably go somewhere closer to the beginning. By now after reading the paragraph, it already seems a little bit of a given.
  • In the case of the people of Omelas, the same principles that apply to the cases of the United States apply there as well. They were a simple group of people, who were not by any means barbarians or killers, but were trying to be happy, and they needed few laws. A culture in which violent is an alien factor, innocent and without the fear of crime can truly thrive without an abundance of rules and regulations.  In the cases of situations like Abu Ghraib, the notorious prison in which prisoners were regularly executed, tortured, and forced to live under the worst conditions.
    • Dena Rennie
       
      You might wanna clarify on who wrote about these subjects since you throw four names out there, and you almost always want to write as if your audience has no idea who wrote what.
  • The New Yorker
    • Dena Rennie
       
      I wanna say this should be italicized, but I'm not entirely sure. I know something should be done to distinguish it- but I am not entirely sure what.
Ryan Meehan

Peer Review Project One Thread - 148 views

draft first one project
Brian Russo

First draft of Torture paper - 55 views

started by Brian Russo on 11 Oct 08 no follow-up yet
Dena Rennie

untitled - 0 views

  • People moving from one culture to another must cross not only a language barrier, but also a cultural barrier -- part of which is rhetorical.
    • Dena Rennie
       
      This is undoubtedly true. To give another example like the one listed below here. Being a sign language interpreting major, here is a cultural barrier problem I have seen. In Deaf culture, Deaf and hard of hearing individuals value directness and being blunt about subjects. If you have put on a little weight, it is nothing for a Deaf person to sign HEY YOU LOOK DIFFERENT, BEFORE THIN NOW FAT HAPPEN? (cultural note, that is ASL syntax, i couldn't really add the facial grammar glosses- but that would be the basic sign order. Prepositions and conjuctions are usually implied) This may be very difficult to accept for a person who is not associated or well-versed with the Deaf community because one may think they are being rude, when really that is how the cultural as a whole is. I have noticed sometimes Deaf and hard of hearing people get frustrated sometimes with people who beat around the bush because they feel that the person that they are communicating with is trying to hide something. This sometimes causes problems, especially if the interpreter forgets to interpret the cultural differences (which happens upon occassion).
  • Anyone who has lived with a cat or a dog can think of numerous ways these animals practice rhetoric in Kennedy's sense -- exert rhetorical energy -- to express their feelings and to get humans to do what they want.
  • Rhetoric implies choices, for both the speaker or writer and the audience. When we practice rhetoric we make decisions about our subject, audience, point of view, purpose, and message. . . . Furthermore, the audience must have a choice in responding to the message, must be able to adopt, modify, or reject it. . . . [R]hetoric is inoperative when the audience lacks the power to respond freely to the message
    • Dena Rennie
       
      This is very true (I accidentally read too far last week so now I'm switching since I wrote on the latter half last assignment). Rhetoric is about choices for both parties. The speaker/writer chooses the direction they wish to persuade their audience to feel, and hope that they choose to accept that direction. This is seen everywhere, but as the Presidential Debates are going on as I write this in the background, we will use this an example. McCain and Obama are both posing their choices tonight. They are posing their strategies which choices should be made about our country. Each of them discuss their point of view, and why it is important to them why do carry things out in such a way. We, as the audience, whether watching on TV or at the debates- will make a choice after the are finished (or maybe even before they are finished). Those choices could be to support Obama, McCain, or we can choose to support neither and simply not vote as neither, one may feel, is truly qualified. Even if you don't want to make a choice, eventually you will. And the beauty of this great country is that you're free to choose any of these options. In countries where freedom of speech or choice of how you will place your vote is obsolete- there really is no use for rhetoric, because you lack the power to respond to the messages they give. We might as well put the two names in a hat and draw for President without the power to respond. This is why I'm glad I live in America. We have the choice to respond to rhetoric. We still have most of our liberties that allow us a voice, a number of countries in the world don't have as they under communist rule.
Dena Rennie

The Ads | AboveTheInfluence.com - 0 views

    • Dena Rennie
       
      These commercials use Pathos by playing on the emotions of the viewer, especially "Hurts" as it uses family, and tries to persuade them against using drugs.
Dena Rennie

Barack Obama | Change We Can Believe In | Watch Obama's Convention Speech - 0 views

    • Dena Rennie
       
      What better way to exemplify ethos than with one the one Presidential candidate who uses it the best?! While I am not here to support or diss OBama, I have to give him the credit that he uses his charasmatic qualities to charm the media, press, politicians, and common people of America in his speeches into believing every word he says. To me, he pretty much defines what ethos is all about.
Dena Rennie

Free the Airwaves - 0 views

  • signing our petition
    • Dena Rennie
       
      After reading the petition, I believe that this is a good idea. In the area where I grew up in Illinois, if you do not live in town, it is almost impossible to get high speed internet. My sister lives 10 miles outside of the town in which we grew up and she can only get a dial-up connection. Also, speaking from experience where you are doing an immense amount of research for a class project- a wireless high speed connection in the classroom is a saving grace for those students whose only access to the internet may be limited to what they have at school.
Dena Rennie

What are you good at? - 0 views

  • writing
    • Dena Rennie
       
      I feel that I am good at writing. It may not even be that I am good at writing, or just that I feel good when I am writing. It doesn't matter if I am writing a poem, lyrics to a song, or writing a novel that I hope one day to finish- when I'm writing, I am at peace. I feel so in control when I write, and at the same time, I feel so helpless how the words just pour from my fingers so effortlessly. I suppose it's only fitting that I would be a writer. Both my parents have an amazing way with words. The first time I came home from spending time with my dad at the age of 16, the letter he gave me to read on the plane ride home brought tears to my eyes. And the sheer passion I see in my mother's eyes when I see her teaching her journalism class tells me that had she made different choices earlier in life, she would be a fearless journalist, desperately seeking the true story behind a political scandal, or a famous novelist like the great authors she looks up to with such high regard. Yes, there is no question that part of my writing abilities comes from both my parents, but the way I write is my own. Whether I am angrily blogging, or happily jotting down haikus, I feel the most like myself when I have a pen in one hand and a notebook propped by my knees cradling my left hand as it scrawls across the pages, or at my computer with a blank screen yearning to be filled with thoughts.
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