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Angela Moneck

YouTube - Proactiv - 0 views

    • Angela Moneck
       
      This Proactiv commercial is an example of ethos. All of the many Proactiv commercials were the only thing that entered my mind when thinking of an example of ethos because of how reliable they are on celebrities to promote their acne system. Many consumers are tempted to purchase a product just because a celebrity said the product is good, or maybe even because they make have a strong liking for that particular celebrity. Either way, I highly doubt that Proactiv would sell as many products if they no longer used celebrities in their commercials with very clear skin.
Angela Moneck

Car Interior Design Overhauls - AOL Autos - 0 views

    • Angela Moneck
       
      This news portion of AOL gives information on cars who have recently advanced technologically and in a more eye-appealing way. It is an example of logos because it lists several points that can, although it is a news article, persuade a viewer or reader to want to buy the cars they are reviewing. In this example with the Honda Civic, it says that it is very "roomy and comfortable with lots of storage space." Clicking the "next" button at the bottom of the text, the reader sees several more fun features that may lure the consumer to want to buy the car.
Angela Moneck

YouTube - Sarah McLachlan Animal Cruelty Video - 0 views

    • Angela Moneck
       
      This video is an example of pathos because it evokes many emotions from the person watching the video. Every time I see this commercial on T.V., it makes me feel so bad for the animals and want to go adopt one right away. It evokes a feeling of sadness along with guilt in order to persuade the viewer to possibly go adopt and save the animals. This type of persuasion can be very effective. At least they're making us feel bad for a good cause!
Sean McMillan

Angela Moneck - 0 views

shared by Sean McMillan on 17 Oct 08 - Cached
    • Sean McMillan
       
      Nice job researching, you can tell you put a lot of effort into it.
    • Sean McMillan
       
      When you get down to the last couple of analysis you should try to see if you can combine some like ideas or articles and find some nice transitional techniques to try to tie it all together. Just smooth out all your well researched information.
    • Sean McMillan
       
      Good intro, it would probably be a good idea to discuss rhetoric a little further and how it specifically pertains to your analysis of the torture debate.
  • ...8 more annotations...
    • Sean McMillan
       
      As far as style, just some run-on sentences. Cut out some commas and make some sentences a little simpler. It'll help your papers readibility.
    • Sean McMillan
       
      you need to site your quotes in the text.
    • Sean McMillan
       
      I like these paragraphs, well done. Good analysis and good use of quotes and direct examples to back your claims. Just some wording issues which is easy to fix.
  • “important to protect the rights of individuals threatened by terrorists.”
    • Sean McMillan
       
      I like the way you worked all these quotes in as support.
  • But, in my opinion, I think her story is less effective than the rest of the author’s pieces because it is not a real situation.
    • Sean McMillan
       
      point of view mix up.
    • Sean McMillan
       
      try to tie your thesis in a little more in closing. talk about the torture debate a little and how the authors use rhetoric.
    • Sean McMillan
       
      i couldn't catch many grammar mistakes, just word usage and agreement. I'm not that grammar savy so go over it pretty good.
  • If the speech was given by a student at the school, it would probably not mean as much to the listeners.
    • Sean McMillan
       
      good point.
Angel Aramayo

Angela Moneck - 0 views

  • news-just
    • Garrett Granger
       
      Maybe use a comma here.
  • issues coming
    • Garrett Granger
       
      ...issues, and come together...
  • their opinions out there
    • Garrett Granger
       
      Maybe reword this. Something like, "to express their opinions."
  • ...5 more annotations...
  • The online community I chose to analyze is called Care 2 (Make a Difference). This community fights for several different causes including human rights, the environment, health care, animal welfare, and education.
    • Garrett Granger
       
      I'm not sure the first sentence is totally necessary. Maybe you could incorporate the name of the online community in the beginning of the second sentence.
    • Angel Aramayo
       
      yes i agree that the name of what you are supporting should standout and be in the beginning of your paper.
    • Garrett Granger
       
      I don't think the word "that" is necessary, and can be eliminated in most cases.
    • Garrett Granger
       
      Be sure to add parenthetical documentation after quotes.
  • I signed a petition called “Stop segregating with colors.”
    • Garrett Granger
       
      Try not to start consecutive sentences with the same words.
    • Angel Aramayo
       
      As garrett said starting the sentence with the same beginning words makes it seem repetitive.
    • Angel Aramayo
       
      I think the paper is pretty good. a few minor mistakes that you find in every first draft. I think the flow of the paper is pretty good. a few repetitive statements but other than that i think it is pretty good. also i would start incoporating or introducing your topic or your website a little earlier in the paper, like the first or second paragraphs.
Janice Perez Rivera

Angela Moneck - 0 views

  • It is the act of writing or speaking effectively. This “essential element of human action” includes many different forms
    • Charlotte Randolph
       
      These two sentences to me seem kind of choppy. They are complete sentences but I feel like they could be combined.
  • Ethos relies on the character of the speaker. Pathos evokes emotion from the audience and logos relies on logic or reason to prove a point.
    • Charlotte Randolph
       
      Try to combine these sentences too.
  • Although Biden does not agree with the war at this point, at the beginning, he greatly supported the invasion of Iraq. Since then, he has now become one of the “war’s toughest critics.”
    • Charlotte Randolph
       
      Wow I didn't know that he supported it in the beginning.
  • ...5 more annotations...
    • Charlotte Randolph
       
      You need to write more, it is supposed to be 1250 words minimum.
  • In the only 2008 vice presidential
    • Janice Perez Rivera
       
      take out the word only. it's extra .. In the 2008 vice presidential....
  • The war hits close to home with the vice presidential nominee. His son Beau is now in Iraq. He commented that he did not want his son going, but also does not want his grandchildren to have to go back later on
    • Janice Perez Rivera
       
      very interesting point. I did not know that the war for him was so close to home like you stated. i also did not know that he supported the war at first.
  • “How we leave [Iraq] makes a big difference.”
    • Janice Perez Rivera
       
      notice how he used the word "we" which makes the audience really connect with him. Because we includes everyone.
  •     Sarah Palin seems to feel more comfortable with oral rather than written communication. In her oral communication, it is obvious that she holds back nothing.
    • Janice Perez Rivera
       
      this is a very good and interesting point that you brought out
Dena Rennie

Peer Review Project One Thread - 148 views

i was signed into my gmail account- it wouldn't let me get to the error page until i signed into my gmail

draft first one project

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