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Angela Moneck

YouTube - Sarah McLachlan Animal Cruelty Video - 0 views

www.youtube.com/watch

animal appeals cruelty mclachlan moneck video

shared by Angela Moneck on 11 Sep 08 - Cached
    • Angela Moneck
      Angela Moneck on 11 Sep 08
       
      This video is an example of pathos because it evokes many emotions from the person watching the video. Every time I see this commercial on T.V., it makes me feel so bad for the animals and want to go adopt one right away. It evokes a feeling of sadness along with guilt in order to persuade the viewer to possibly go adopt and save the animals. This type of persuasion can be very effective. At least they're making us feel bad for a good cause!
Charlotte Randolph

Janice T. Perez Rivera - 0 views

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shared by Charlotte Randolph on 16 Oct 08 - No Cached
  • In today’s society torture reminds me of “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas,” by Ursala K. Le Guin. Because society paints a prefect picture.
    • Angela Moneck
      Angela Moneck on 16 Oct 08
       
      This is the only time you mentioned any of the works we were assignened to read and analyze.
  • Bibliography
    • Angela Moneck
      Angela Moneck on 16 Oct 08
       
      This should be a Works Cited page by using MLA format.
    • Angela Moneck
      Angela Moneck on 16 Oct 08
       
      I don't think you understood the assignment completely. You wrote more about what torture is, where it is present, what practices are used, and what's considered torture. Our assignment said to analyze the four assigned readings and talk about how the author used rhetoric to state their opinion and whether it was successful or not. Then we had to choose academic sources of our own to analyze the rhetoric and how it portrayed the writer's point.
  • ...9 more annotations...
  • The definition of torture is "the act of inflicting excruciating pain, as punishment or revenge, as a means of getting a confession or information, or for sheer cruelty."
    • Angela Moneck
      Angela Moneck on 16 Oct 08
       
      You can use this when you revise your paper. You could briefly talk about what torture is, then go on to explain what rhetoric is.
  • If we keep on ignoring how people around us are hurting inside or if we keep on ignoring what is right in front of us (War on Terror) this cycle of torture is not going to get better.
    • Angela Moneck
      Angela Moneck on 16 Oct 08
       
      This seems like it's your opinion. The assignment says to try to keep our opinions separate from the paper.
    • Angela Moneck
      Angela Moneck on 16 Oct 08
       
      Assignment Parameters-Your paper definitely maintains a main idea, but it is not the idea that the assignment was intended to create.
    • Angela Moneck
      Angela Moneck on 16 Oct 08
       
      Style-Your sentence structure varies and I understand what points you are trying to get across, but once again, they are not the points that need to be made in this particular paper. Your point of view, for the most part, is appropriate because you are stating facts, but as far as your opinion, you need to try to keep your opinion out of the paper completely, even though that is sometimes very hard to do.
    • Angela Moneck
      Angela Moneck on 16 Oct 08
       
      Development-Your details do develop your main idea, but once again, your main idea wasn't what was assigned for this paper. The paper was mostly supposd to be about rhetoric and its effects on particular pieces of work. I can tell you took time to work on your paper, and if it followed the directions, I think it would be a pretty good paper, but as far as following directions, you did not. I would suggest you go back and look through the directions for the assignment again.
  • There is still torture involved with this however it is more mentally, than physically
    • Charlotte Randolph
      Charlotte Randolph on 16 Oct 08
       
      Look at the different types of torture. It is not mainly mental, there are a lot of physical types of torture, too.
  • Now how torture evolved into today’s society came from these past events and many more that were not discussed. However torture now is different than what it was ten years ago. Because of the laws and regulations that are set in place. Also because we don’t want history to repeat it self even though it has before. Now that our world is high tech and information can travel all over the world in a manner of seconds we are more aware if something tragic were to occur anywhere else. This helps from another genocide occurring. One of the questions that was always asked when I was learning about the Holocaust was where was the rest of the world when all of this was occurring?
    • Charlotte Randolph
      Charlotte Randolph on 16 Oct 08
       
      Look at the way these sentences are worded. A few of the don't make sense and they are choppy. Just try to reword these sentences and word them a little better.
    • Charlotte Randolph
      Charlotte Randolph on 16 Oct 08
       
      Pay attention to your grammer, copy it to a word document to spell check it before the final draft.
    • Charlotte Randolph
      Charlotte Randolph on 16 Oct 08
       
      Be srue to analyze the authors use of rhetoric in each article.
Angela Moneck

Public Writing Assignment #1 - 80 views

Update: I just posted my comment onto YouTube now that it let me sign up. I did have to shorten what I originally wrote because of the character limit. Here is the link again: http://www.youtube.c...

pwa1

started by Ryan Meehan on 29 Sep 08 15 follow-ups, last by Angela Moneck on 02 Oct 08
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