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Contents contributed and discussions participated by Nicole Tam

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Conscious Living - 0 views

inspiretoact.blogspot.com
shared by Nicole Tam on 09 Feb 10 - Cached
  • personal development
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      It might be helpful to readers to be more specific.
  • “self-help” tape
  • introduced to a
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      Link to or list which tape. People might be intrigued because they also listened to the same tape.
  • ...13 more annotations...
  • the things said
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      Kind of awkward phrasing.
  • it was advice that I needed to hear directly from an influential and successful individual in order to truly take initiative in directing my life.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      I liked your personal anecdote. I think it relates to a lot of people who would be embarrassed to try a self help book or tape.
  • At this point, there are no specific topics that I’d like to blog about in regards to personal development
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      Don't necessarily need this. Since its your hello world its ok to generally introduce the topic and leave the later posts to get into specifics.
  • will be can and will be used a
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      reword
  • It is difficult to believe that these individuals we hold to such high regard would pay large sums of money for a product viewed as phony as the shaw-wow.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      Funny comparison
  • stevepavlina.com
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      Link.
  • numerous topics
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      list some to be more specific
  • self-improvement on various levels
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      A little clarification might help. I'm not familiar with self-help so I don't know what these levels are.
  • orum you are can utilize if you choose, an RSS feed, and some really i
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      The wording is a little confusing here
  • variety of topics to comment on in my blog in the future.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      It would still be useful to list some of these topics to give readers an idea of what you're interested in.
  • as thoughtfully written as Emily Dickenson might have.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      Interesting simile.
  • familiar Robert Frost issue of deciding which road to take.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      I like the idea of this sentence, but it could probably be worded in a way to make it stronger.
  • emphasis need s
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      needed
25More

Stained Glass Politics - 1 views

stained-glass-politics.blogspot.com
shared by Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10 - Cached
  • Sarah Palin, sex abuse, Anglican exodus, gay marriage. Eighty percent of Americans view these explosive cultural touchstones through the prism of faith.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      I like the way you start with controversial topics. I think its a great way to reel readers in
  • This blog will examine the impact of religious belief on national political issues, and how faith informs the way different groups view each other and the wider world.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      It's nice that you lay out what your blog is about, but I don't necessarily think you need to say "this blog is..." because its a blog it might be nicer to just get into it.
  • Not so.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      I like that you made a general statement and then refuted it. I agreed with the first so you kept me on my toes.
  • ...12 more annotations...
  • We can talk about separation of church and state, but the separation of faith and politics is impossible.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      I like this sentence and I think this paragraph does a good job of driving the point home and giving readers a taste of what you might cover
  • Jay Anderson takes his faith seriously
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      Good overview of who he is and what he writes, but it's a little dry.
  • Anderson crafts his voice primarily by linking to articles, quotations, and YouTube videos that affirm his point of view.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      You could link to one of the articles or youtube videos here to add content for your readers who are interested
  • e Cat
  • Liberals might deplore abortion personally, but still support a healthcare bill that provides coverage for it.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      Explain this more. Right now it sounds like too much of a generalization.
  • the way the American media portrays people of faith, namely those with strong and vocal opinions. 
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      This could be an interesting point to talk more about.
  • instructive
  • instructive
  • instructive
  • instructive
  • Anglican Centrist,
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      You might want to link to the actual posts.
  • He’s just chatting with us across the dining room table, bouncing big ideas off an imaginary audience.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 20 Apr 10
       
      This sentence drives home the causal tone of the article you read, and also puts your readers at ease with you.
8More

Against the Odds with Admissions Gods - 0 views

admissionsgods.blogspot.com
shared by cdcrone on 03 Feb 10 - Cached
  • “Left undiscussed, however, is how much unnecessary discrimination against whites and Asians is necessary in order to maintain the attendance of minorities.”
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
       
      I'm not sure that this quote is the best to show that she has a strong stance against affirmative action. I thought this was stated in a confusing way, but beyond that my interpretation of this quote was that discrimination against asians and whites was necessary to keep minorities in law schools. She might be stronger about her dislike for affirmative action throughout the blog, but this quote doesn't capture that sentiment to me.
  • These statistics are also adding a taste of cynicism to her voice; as many law schools deny the magnitude of affirmative action, her proof blatantly contradicts these assertions.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
       
      I think the use of statistics adds to both her argument and yours. It helps support your argument, and gives more authority to your voice.
  • If you follow this line of reasoning, affirmative action or preferential treatment should not look at race, but rather family income and one’s socioeconomics.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
       
      This is a really interesting point to make. I never really thought about affirmative action in terms of socioeconomic.
  • ...1 more annotation...
  • What happens to the poor white men and women? Nothing good. This improper use of a once beneficial program completely undermines the foundations of equality and the incentive to work hard for those that will be adversely affected by affirmative action.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
       
      Your use of language and the question helped to make your opinion extremely clear. You have some strong opinons, especially because this issue is personal for you, and I think it's great that your voice is as strong as your opinions.
17More

Voice X - The Money Diet - 1 views

www.walletpop.com/...ill-losing-weight-saving-money money diet weight loss
shared by Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10 - Cached
  • Granted, nobody's going to make a reality TV series based on my diet experiences. I did have a comical moment when I went to the gym the first week, climbed aboard one of those StairMaster-like contraptions and almost fell off. Maybe there would be some melodramatic footage if someone filmed me every time I went through a McDonald's drive-thru to buy my kids the occasional Happy Meal or ice cream. I'm sure that I look like a tragic romantic figure every time I pass by the posters and pictures of McDonald's Angus burger.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
       
      This is a nice way to add some realism in a funny way. He is proud of the weight he has lost, while realizing that it isn't quite dramatic enough to start a reality show about. This experience at the gym is something a lot of people have probably dealt with. This tangent about his un-dramatic weight loss leads into an interesting scenario between him and McDonalds.
  • -Angus, I only met you several months before I began this diet. Angus, I hardly knew ye. -"Dad, would you stop kissing the menu?" -Angus, call me-- -"Dad!"
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
       
      Geoff has personified the angus burger and has not only started dialogue with it but has started a relationship with the burger. This shows that food is more than just food to Geoff, and now that it has been taken away from him it is equivalent to losing a lover.
  • OK, maybe that's not exactly how our visits to the drive-thru have worked out. As I was saying, mostly this is a drama-free diet.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
       
      This snaps him back into reality. He is conversational with the readers and he is honest with them. Although he was initially skeptical about how this diet would work out, he is now realizing that although he isn't dropping tons and tons of weight, he isn't experiencing much drama. This offers hope to readers, and he is giving it to them in a way that isn't overly motivational. Some people become annoyed always hearing that they can do it, and that it'll be easy. This is motivation that seems to be coming from a friend. He is letting you know that he is trying it, and so far it isn't so bad.
  • ...5 more annotations...
  • I had several chances to destroy my new, healthier eating lifestyle, but somehow, I stuck to my plan.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
       
      This is a funny, and more negative way of saying that he has stuck to his diet. He is clearly still doubting himself and waiting for the day that he caves, but he is also pleasantly surprised that he has still been able to diet. Rather than just saying he ate healthy this week, or he resisted temptation, he refers to fast food and junk food as chances to destroy his new lifestyle.
  • I bought cupcakes for my daughter's kindergarten class to celebrate her birthday, and I didn't swipe any for myself (we had extra and don't think I wasn't tempted).
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
       
      This is almost like giving himself a pat on the back. The parenthesis are an aside to the reader, letting them know that although he didn't actually eat the cupcake, he was still tempted and is still human and wrestling with his diet.
  • I also lost money by not going to the YMCA -- we have a membership, and I should be using it more -- but I didn't make it once this week. If I had, I might have finally dropped enough to get into the high 240s.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
       
      The dashes are a way for Geoff to take a moment to explain why not using the YMCA gym lost money for him. This is him reflecting on what he could have done better, and realizing that it would have helped him lose weight and make the most of the money he is spending.
  • I used to spend almost $100 a month on snacks and generally unnecessary food -- and frankly, I'd rather not believe that.
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
       
      The dash again is similar to the use of parenthesis. It is a bit of an aside to the reader. It isn't necessary to understand what he is saying, but it lets you know his feelings about what he is realizing, and the mental pause that people take when they see a dash adds to the voice created when he adds his opinion about what he has just realized.
  • he slightly less heavyset Geoff Williams
    • Nicole Tam
      Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
       
      I thought this was a cute and funny way to sign off on the blog post. It gives more character to the author, and also shows that the diet is working.
  • Nicole Tam on 04 Feb 10
     
    money diet week 4 progress
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