How must my customer see me that is eliciting the response I am seeing from them?

Maybe I really don't understand what their objectives are.

Maybe I am in collusion with them - the very things I want to see less of are being brought about because of the way I see them.

"Individuals and organizations that are operating with an inward mindset act in what we call an Inside-Outside-In way. By this, we mean that they first think about the results they want to achieve, or their own inside triangle objectives (Inside). They they think about what they need others to do - their customers, for example, their peers, their team members, and so on - in order for them to achieve those objectives (Outside). They they set out to make sure that the actions those people take are in fact helpful; they stay on top of what others are doing in order to manage their activities as needed (In)."

From Arbinger's forthcoming book, "The Outward Mindset - Seeing Beyond Ourselves"

"We tend to invite in other people the kind of mindset that we ourselves are operating from. This is why efforts to change others often can feel so frustrating: Despite efforts to do things differently - to say things differently, interact differently, engage differently, and so on - people often respond to us the same way they always have. Very often the reason for this is that our changes have been mostly cosmetic. We have pasted new behavioral techniques onto the same old mindset, thinking that our behavioral changes will elicit different and better responses from others. These experiences demonstrate that people often respond primarily to how they think we are regarding them rather than to our particular behaviors per se." From Arbinger's upcoming book "The Outward Mindset - Seeing Beyond Ourselves

What happens when you begin to focus on someone's outside triangles? Perhaps a quote from G.K. Chesterton -

"How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it; if you could really look at other men with common curiosity and pleasure; if you could see them walking as they are in their sunny selfishness and their virile indifference! You would begin to be interested in them, because they are not interested in you. You would break out of this tiny and tawdry theater in which your own little plot is always played, and you would find yourself under a freer sky, in a street full of splendid strangers."

"When our mindsets are outward, we are alive to and interested in other people and their objectives and needs. We see others as people we are open to helping. When our mindsets are inward, on the other hand, we in effect turn our backs to others.

Not caring to notice or be moved by others requires something of us that takes a tremendous personal and social toll: it requires us to feel justified for why we shouldn't have to care." From Arbinger's forthcoming book The Outward Mindset

"Consciously competent and authentic leadership engenders credibility and trust. The relationship between leaders and followers then becomes reciprocal. Leaders have the right to expect that others will compassionately recognize them as fallible human beings. When leaders openly acknowledge their weaknesses and mistakes, constituents reciprocate by seeing these as opportunities to learn and grow. Credibility is earned with time and experience; grace is granted to be human."

Anderson, Robert J.; Adams, William A. (2015-11-04). Mastering Leadership: An Integrated Framework for Breakthrough Performance and Extraordinary Business Results (Kindle Locations 1018-1022). Wiley. Kindle Edition.

"We understand that any practice or policy that communicates to others that they don't really matter like we do can end up creating barriers to mindset change - barriers in others because we have barricaded ourselves from them."

The Arbinger Institute The Outward Mindset

How safe do people feel with us? Our co-workers? Our employees? Our children? Our partners? Our siblings? Our neighbors? Our rivals? Our enemies?

How safe?

If you look carefully, you will see your own mindset reflected in the faces and actions of the people around you. Why? Because others respond more to our mindsets than they do to our words or our actions.

Individuals and organizations operating with an outward mindset first focus on the outside triangle objectives of those they have obligations toward (Outside).

Then they reconsider their own inside triangle efforts in order to make them more helpful (Inside).

Then they connect their inside triangle efforts back to the outside triangles of others and stay accountable for their impact on others by paying attention to whether their efforts are actually helping (Out).

"The biggest lever for change is not a change in self-belief, but a fundamental change in the way we see and regard our connections and obligations with others. This is what we mean by mindset." The Outward Mindset by The Arbinger Institute

"How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it." - G.K. Chesterton

There are no accidents!

"Boundary lines, of any type, are never found in the real world itself, but only in the imagination of the mapmakers." Ken Wilber

However bleak things look on the outside, the peace that starts it all, the peace within, is merely a choice away.

Kyle was a regional leader for a large US telecomm. With responsibilities for operations across multiple states, he spent most of his time on the road visiting one store after another to ensure quality. His stated goal, published and reiterated in every communication, was "Zero Defects." Hoping to see the true state of affairs within each operation, Kyle would make his visits unannounced. "If I can't see what's really going on I can't provide meaningful help," he was known to say. But instead of embracing his help, employees felt fear and therefore resisted him. With the loyalty that only a common enemy can create, employees would call their nearest operation centers as soon as Kyle would arrive, giving them a heads up. Soon the employees had successfully plotted out his likely route and inspection schedule. Days before his arrival they would scurry to get things cleaned up. The transparency Kyle had hoped to create through his "surprise" visits unintentionally fostered "zero defect" facades-a culture of nervous, posturing people hiding the truth. Of course, results lagged and quality suffered.

Most of us rarely comprehend the impact we have on others. What we say and do carries a weight and creates ripples that are hard to see and even more difficult to track. Despite good intentions and proper motives, our words and actions too often engender perceptions and produce results that are entirely unintended. This is particularly true of leaders. Their words and actions are given more weight because of the authority they carry. If I am an employee who might be worried about my job, questioning my performance, or simply feeling distance in my relationship with my boss, even an off-handed remark-or failure to make a remark when a response may have provided much needed validation-can set in motion all sorts of trouble.

How can we become aware of our impact on others so we can adjust what we say and do to produce the results we want? For Kyle it was a matter of really spending time considering what it would be like to be on the receiving end of his leadership (perhaps better labeled "inspectorship"). "As I thought about it," Kyle recalled, "I realized how provoking it is to demand zero defects from people. It says, 'Don't you make a mistake or we'll nail you for it.' It hurts people from the start. And I'm always looking over their shoulder."

As a result of this thinking, Kyle decided that, among other important changes, a new target goal was needed - one which would foster transparency and openness. "Our new target is 'quality job installed.' Quality job installed involves the sales team, installers, programmers, and customer service. It's no longer provoking. In fact, they love it. They used to feel hunted when I'd come around, but not any more. I'm not there to ensure zero-defects, not to police them, but to help them."

What could this kind of thinking do for your leadership? To get started, think about each of your interactions with others today. Ask yourself, "If I put myself in the shoes of those I work with, what might I feel about our interactions? How might they interpret my remarks, my actions, my posture, my level of engagement? What was it like to be around me today? Did others feel hounded or helped? Did they feel I was fully present and concerned about their issues, or would they have felt like a distraction or a nuisance? Does the way I manage invite people to hide mistakes or to bring them to light? Do others feel my trust or might they wonder about my belief in their abilities?" In short, "What is it like to work with me?"

Honestly asking these questions is likely your best defense against creating unintended results. A leader who asks these questions regularly just might be able to create a team that can achieve zero-defect levels of success

COLLUSION: A conflict where the parties are inviting the very things they're fighting against.

Where are you colluding?

Are the strategies, systems and processes at Tweddle Group built upon the assumption that people are people - or objects?

Some thoughts:
1. Time clocks
2. Still thinking ... There's got to be more. My brain is failing me!

It's only natural when confronting a problem that we try to correct it. Trouble is, when working with people, this hardly ever helps.