liz gordon's blog - 1 views
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“I can’t believe we have three tests tomorrow. Bio, Govt, and English. WHAT? Since when do we have tests in English?”
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Tex Tourais on 31 Aug 09It's never a bad idea to start a story with a bit of dialogue. Nice job.
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my hair was
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flip phone—clearly, an old and disheveled phone
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They thought I would just break it.
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“FRANK WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!”
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before
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“FRANK WHERE ARE YOU? IVE CALLED YOU TWENTY TIMES AND YOU HAVENT PICKED UP. I’M STUCK IN THE SCHOOL PARKING LOT, WAITING FOR YOU. MY HAIR IS NOW FROZEN SINCE IT’S WET FROM SWIM PRACTICE. I AM COLD AND I’M GOING TO CALL MOM AND TATTLE ON YOU IF YOU DON’T COME PICK ME UP.”
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You actually have a good opportunity for some comedy or tension here. You set it up by saying that the texts have gotten angrier, so you have the choice to give us three (or so) texts back-to-back. You can go calm, less calm, infuriated if you want. You can also provide us with different pieces of back story in each text. There's a lot you can do you here given the setup.
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This is message 21
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I believe my supplier’s mother
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1886
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Pop a second, a third, a fourth, a fifth, a sixth even.
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Holy moly... that seems like a lot... maybe stop at a fourth?? I don't know anything about oxycontin but I feel like you would definitely die if you took that many. Even the warning on the Advil box says you shouldn't exceed four.
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As Meg says, you would probably die if you took that much. Orally, oxycontin is like twice as strong as morphine. You might just want to leave what drug it is ambiguous so you can say what amount with this sort of thing without having to know if she took a fatal dose or not. Then again, if you do know, I'll shut up right now.
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Numb. My eyes shut, lead weights attached to my lids. Black. Darkness falls and I remember nothing more.