Google Reader (16) - 1 views
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Starlight Girl
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Danielle Hazley on 06 Nov 09I love this name for the nameless girl.
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Danielle Hazley
Contents contributed and discussions participated by Danielle Hazley
Google Reader (17) - 0 views
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I really like the imagery in your piece because I can almost see perfectly Mrs. Schmitt's white carpeted stairs and her daughters room. I love all the mystery in this story around who the people are in the beginning scene, where Ms. Morris comes into the picture and things like that. I think the description of each new character is very good because the reader and vividly see what the girls are seeing. I believe that even though the girls know more than the reader the reader is still seeing everything through the girls eyes and learning new things with them. Good Job.
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Google Reader (18) - 0 views
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Liz this story is really good to me. I do feel like I get to know the best friend more than I get to know the protagonist. Why did the friend leave when she knew that Reilly was really upset and not thinking right. She starts off like a really good friend but then she leaves. I wish we could learn more about Reilly because I feel like her emotions were thrown at us and we don't know much about Michael and there relationship to fully understand her deep agonizing pain. Ya kno?
Google Reader (39) - 1 views
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I hope this gets to Leena lol. I think your story shows how strong you are as a writer. There are some grammatical errors but its a rough draft so you have plenty of time to fix those. I love this story, I love the different families and the individual stories and how we're learning so much about them in such a short amount of time. I feel like I've been reading the story for pages when I haven't and I have such a great grasp on who everyone is. I think that you have a wonderful start and I can't wait to read the rest.
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