Tweddle Group Outward Mindset

Reflecting on the personal impact of the material, Zeck comments, "I am much more aware of my role in relationships, my role in these dealings with other people, my role in collusions I had with other people. [Over time] it became much more difficult to pretend that I wasn't responsible, and that I didn't have accountability and that I wasn't playing a significant role in those relationships like I had in the past. I could always find ways to blame other people, I could always find ways to excuse my behavior, excuse the way I was relating to other people and drat-the Arbinger material has taken all of that away from me! I can no longer do that in good conscience."

A long-time colleague of ours, Terry Olson, tells of the following experience that began in a workshop he was conducting for public-school teachers. They were using a room at a lockdown educational facility for elementary-aged children with severe behavioral problems. Some of the teachers from that school were eavesdropping at the back of the room.

Amy Simonelli sent me this article. Great thoughts on why we are so self deceived. "According to social psychologists, there's another, even deeper reason: Humans are programmed to see others more clearly than they see themselves-a phenomenon called actor/observer differences. "We read situations differently depending on whether we are the actor or the person watching," says Heidi Grant Halvorson, a motivational scientist at Columbia University Business School, who writes the blog The Science of Success. While others can clearly see that you frequently interrupt conversations or get red-faced and sweaty arguing a point, it's easier for you to ignore or rationalize your behavior, Grant Halvorson says. "You have access to so much information that others don't, like your past experiences, your beliefs about your own abilities, your fears and insecurities. All that extra data affects your interpretation of what you do-so self-defeating behaviors make more sense and seem more reasonable to you."