Service is the measure of greatness; it always has been true; it is true today, and it always will be true. Nearly all of our controversies and combats grow out of the fact that we are trying to get something from each other. There will be peace when our aim is to do something for each other. The true measure of a life is its outgo, its overflow -- its contribution to the welfare of others. (adapted, William Jennings Bryan)

Love it - thanks Gail!

Our freedom lies deeper than we imagine. Not only do we choose our response to people and conditions in our lives, we choose how we see them in the first place. (The Choice, Arbinger)

When the natural weakness and imperfection of human understanding is considered, with the unavoidable influences of education, custom, books and company, upon our ways of thinking, I imagine a person must have a good deal of vanity who believes, and a good deal of boldness who affirms, that all the opinions he holds are true, and all he rejects are false. (adapted, Benjamin Franklin, 1740)

Honesty consists of the unwillingness to lie to others; maturity, which is equally hard to attain, consists of the unwillingness to lie to oneself. (Sydney J. Harris)

I am posting this in the Leadership & Self-Deception group because I think it beautifully expresses the spirit of the Arbinger teachings.

What is all this which would hinder you from loving? What is all this which you can win by self-love? The decree is that you *shall* love, but when you understand life and yourself, then it is as if you should not need to be commanded, because to love human beings is still the only thing worth living for; without this love you really do not live. (Søren Kierkegaard)

Gotta love Kierkegaard!

Honesty has a beautiful and refreshing simplicity about it. No ulterior motives. No hidden meanings. An absence of hypocrisy, duplicity, political games, and verbal superficiality. As honesty and real integrity characterize our lives, there will be no need to manipulate others. (Chuck Swindoll)

Of all deceivers fear most yourself. (Søren Kierkegaard)

So, if this were indeed my final hour, these would be my words to you. I would not claim to pass on any secret of life... or any wisdom except the passionate plea of caring... Try to feel, in your heart's core, the reality of others. This is the most painful thing in the world, probably, and the most necessary. (Margaret Laurence)

The paradox of self-worth: 'There is no doubt that in exchanging a self-centered for a selfless life, we gain enormously in self-assurance. The confidence of the selfless, even those who practice utmost humility, is boundless.' (adapted, Eric Hoffer)

It is simply futile to try to change another if we do so in a critical spirit, even a mild one. Generally speaking, we influence others most profoundly when we do not seek to change them at all, but simply go about straightforwardly doing the right and loving thing. (C. Terry Warner, Bonds That Make Us Free)

When we see another as a real person, we are not prone to making assessments and judgments - it is best described as uncritical receptivity. There is no agenda (and therefore no control or coercion, or manipulation), and no superiority or inferiority. To see another person clearly is pure acceptance. (C.Terry Warner)

Without opening ourselves to another's humanity, we cannot get ourselves emotionally unstuck no matter how we might try. We cannot do it by denying or repressing our feelings or by willing ourselves to feel differently... We are able to become emotionally unstuck only by recognizing, respecting, and revering others as they really are, in the fullness of their humanity and vulnerability. (C.Terry Warner)

Though I might travel afar, I will meet... what I carry with me, for every man is a mirror. We see... ourselves reflected in those around us. Their attitudes and actions are reflections of our own. The whole world and its conditions have counterparts within us all. Turn the gaze inward... correct yourself and your world will change. (Kristin Zambucka)

The recipe for perpetual ignorance: Be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge. (Elbert Hubbard)

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

There's a world of difference between truth and facts. Facts can obscure truth.

Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

Thank you Maya Angelou

What appears to be sheer selfishness, malice, or even abusiveness from the outside is on the inside deep insecurity, deep worry, and deep fear. (C. Terry Warner)

It is good to see ourselves as others see us. Try as we may, we are never able to know ourselves fully as we are, especially the evil side of us. This we can do only if we are not angry with our critics but will take in good heart whatever they might have to say. (Gandhi)