The problem isn't that organizations struggle to find high-potential leaders, but rather that those leaders don't actually learn to inspire, nurture, and empower the employees and teams they lead. Often, the root of this failed development is a unique and powerful deterrent to success: self-deception.

For many of us, the Golden Rule ("Treat others how you would like to be treated") is the ethical standard we were taught to live by.

On the surface, the Golden Rule seems to offer good guidance about how to interact with others to foster good relationships, mutual happiness, and general harmony. I don't want to be harmed, so I shouldn't harm others. I want people to be thoughtful towards me, so I should be thoughtful towards them.

However, there are two key ways the Golden Rule falls short.

J.K. Rowling reminds us that our connection with one another can be enhanced by a deep curiosity that develops into imagination and ultimately empathy. As we allow our imaginations to wander through the stories of others, we are able to better see them as people who matter like we matter.

"Who do you play for?"

With this simple question, Coach Herb Brooks inspired a shift in mindset that ultimately resulted in one of the greatest moments in sports: the U.S. hockey team's victory in the 1980 Olympics, now known as the "Miracle on Ice."

In this post, we feature an excerpt from The Shift: How Seeing People Changes Everything. This book is a vivid and real-world example of the personal and institutional impact of Arbinger's transformative ideas within a healthcare organization-the HG nursing homes.

Humankind is forgetting how to disagree. I don't mean merely that our manner of disagreeing is becoming increasingly problematic (although it is). I mean that we have an even bigger problem: We don't know how to disagree anymore because we don't know what we are thinking.

Spring is here with its flower blossoms, longer days, and gusts of wind.

This new season also brings to mind the Aesop's fable of the sun and wind…along with lessons on an outward mindset.

The reality is that whether we were taught by an entertaining teacher or a boring one, we usually remember very little that they said. But we still know so much-driving a car, computer programming, baking a cake, speaking a foreign language, writing an email, etc.

How have we learned so much when we remember so little?

Here are the three scenarios. While this post suggests an Arbinger tool that could be applied in each situation, others are equally applicable and were part of the conversations in the Summit breakouts. If you're familiar with the Arbinger tools, we invite you to consider what others might be used in each case.

In response, the Sustain: Building Coaching Capability breakout session explored this dilemma and offered three tools…with the reminder that there is an inward and outward approach to everything.

Mitch Warner, managing partner and Arbinger author, kicked off the event with a story about his father, who pursued acting in New York City. At that time, a friend asked his father, "Do you love yourself in the theatre? Or do you love the theatre in yourself?" Mitch reflected that this question could apply to more than just theatre and acting. It could apply to work and leadership. We could ask ourselves, "As leaders, do we enjoy helping others succeed, or do I just like the idea of myself as a leader?" With those introspective questions, Mitch reminded the audience that turning the world outward begins with our personal commitment to being outward.

In this case study, learn how O.C. Tanner, the industry leader in employee recognition, created a culture that drove incredible growth and employee satisfaction.

When we're in conflict with others, we tend to believe ourselves more than anyone else. We believe our own perspective is the truth; people who disagree can't possibly be right (or have a legitimate perspective).

At Arbinger, we talk a lot about mindset change. By shifting from a self-focused inward mindset to an others-inclusive, results-focused outward mindset, individuals and organizations can achieve breakthrough performance. They discover new possibilities and solutions for old problems because they are looking at those problems through new lenses.

We all imagine we're seeing the world accurately, says psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson. But usually, that's not correct. "There's this saying, 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,'" she says. "That's perfectly true. What we don't realize is that everything is actually in the eye of the beholder."

People used to believe that you didn't have to be happy at work to succeed. And you didn't need to like the people you work with, or even share their values. "Work is not personal," the thinking went. This is bunk.

Despite mounting evidence of the advantages of a mindset-model approach, most leaders persist in behavioral-model strategies. In our experience, they do this first out of habit and second out of ignorance regarding good mindset-change strategies.   Leaders who want to begin focusing on changing the prevailing mindsets in their organizations first need to determine the kind of mindset change they are seeking. Arbinger's work is about moving individuals, teams, and entire organizations from inward-mindset orientations to outward-mindset orientations2.

In data collected following the workshop, 100% of the participants reported that as a result of session, they had experienced a change in the way they viewed others and 100% of the participants reported that they would recommend others to watch the film and attend a post-film discussion.

Do you ever find it difficult to listen to others without imposing your own agenda? It seems that most of us struggle to listen to others without trying to change the other person's views to align with our own.