I Was Trying to Build My Son's Resilience, Not Scar Him for Life - The New York Times - 0 views
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Resilience is a popular term in modern psychology that, put simply, refers to the ability to recover and move on from adverse events, failure or change.
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“We don’t call it ‘character’ anymore,” said Jelena Kecmanovic, director of Arlington/DC Behavior Therapy Institute. “We call it the ability to tolerate distress, the ability to tolerate uncertainty.”
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Studies suggest that resilience in kids is associated with things like empathy, coping skills and problem-solving, though this research is often done on children in extreme circumstances and may not apply to everybody
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many experts are starting to see building resilience as an effective way to prevent youth anxiety and depression.
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For instance, it’s important that children have a loving and supportive foundation before they go out and take risks that build resilience
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“Challenges” are challenging only if they are hard. Child psychologists often talk about the “zone of proximal development” — the area between what a child can do without any help and what a child can’t do, even with help
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How do you find the bar? Dr. Ginsburg recommends asking your child: “What do you think you can handle? What do you think you can handle with me by your side?”
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Sometimes parents just have to lay down the law and force children to break out of their comfort zone
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“If you don’t persevere through something that’s a little bit hard, sometimes you never get the benefits,”
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don’t expect your kid to appreciate your efforts, Dr. Kecmanovic said: “They will scream ‘I hate you