The unsympathetic assessments we make of others are usually the result of nothing more sinister than our habit of looking at them in the wrong way, through lenses clouded by distraction, exhaustion and fear, which blind us to the fact that they are really, despite a thousand differences, just altered versions of ourselves: fellow fragile, uncertain, flawed beings likewise craving love and in urgent need of forgiveness. (Alain de Botton)

We shouldn't believe everything that our thoughts and feelings are telling us about ourselves and others. In fact, the more our thoughts and feelings keep obsessing on others' faults, for example, the more we should question them.

Because I was more often happy for other people, I got to spend more time being happy. And as I saw more light in everybody else, I seemed to have more myself. (Victoria Moran)

For the wise have always known that no one can make much of his life until self-searching has become a regular habit, until he is able to admit and accept what he finds, and until he patiently and persistently tries to correct what is wrong. (Bill W.)

"We can change this endless cycle of violence. The only way out is the ability to listen to the pain of the other." (Rami Elhanan, an Israeli who is part of a group of Israelis & Palestinians working together to promote reconciliation and peace,)

Violence is also done to other when we ignore them, consider them irrelevant, disrespect them, steamroll them or are impatient with them. Maybe the first thing to realize is that we are all violent.

Sometimes we mistake patience for weakness, but the patient person often realizes that it's much more important for another person to discover his or her own gifts and shortcomings -- the patient person doesn't feel a need to "fix" other people, and sometimes will let certain things slide until the other person recognizes the problems. (Tom Walsh)

Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and wrong. Sometime in your life, you will have been all of these.
(Gautama Buddha)

Don't focus on what others are doing wrong. Do focus on what you can do right to help.
Don't worry whether others are helping you. Do worry whether you are helping others. ("Living the material", Leadership and Self-Deception)

"Forgiveness is making peace with something - or someone - you can not change." (Marina Cantacuzino)

When we are prone to harshly judge and condemn others, we should inquire how far we fall short ourselves; we should also consider those periods of suffering when we ourselves were perhaps misjudged or misunderstood. (adapted, James Allen)

Great series of short videos about the impact that Arbinger has had on the Kansas City SWAT Team

"But then I recognized, 'I am no longer a victim. It doesn't matter what this man does. My life will not be contingent on what he decides to do.' And suddenly I recognize that I am free." (Robi Damelin)

It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections... It is impossible to build one's own happiness on the unhappiness of others. (Daisaku Ikeda)

The Arbinger Institute's Jim Ferrell said, "We magnify the worst in each other; we miss some of the problems in ourselves and we drive each other apart." Sometimes the best way to come together is to listen to each other's stories.

Life is a place of service. Joy can be real when people look upon their life as a service and have a definite object in life outside themselves and their personal happiness. (adapted, Leo Tolstoy)

"If I betrayed myself by not seeing the humanity in the other then I would suffer. I believe every time we demonize anyone we lose some of our humanity." (Jo Berry, TEDx talk)

The deepest wounds aren't usually the ones we get from other people hurting us. They are the wounds we give ourselves when we hurt other people. (adapted, Isobelle Carmody)

Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness. (Corrie ten Boom)

Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all. (Aristotle)