Think about what your goal is....Do I want the short-term quick reward focused on my results, or do I want long term results that benefit everyone? The best path to your goal will become clear. Maybe we need to take others with us on the journey.

"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

"Don't be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn't do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today."
― Malcolm X

"Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in."
― Isaac Asimov

"Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad."
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"None but ourselves can free our minds."
― Bob Marley

"When you hold a grudge, you want someone else's sorrow to reflect your level of hurt. However, the two rarely meet."
― Steve Maraboli

"We have to recognize that there cannot be relationship unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, and persistence."
― Cornel West

"If you understand others you are smart.
If you understand yourself you are illuminated.
If you overcome others you are powerful.
If you overcome yourself you have strength."
― Lao Tzu

"We die to each other daily. What we know of other people is only our memory of the moments during which we knew them. And they have changed since then. To pretend that they and we are the same is a useful and convenient social convention which must sometimes be broken. We must also remember that at every meeting we are meeting a stranger."
― T.S. Eliot

"A person's a person, no matter how small."

― Dr. Seuss, Horton Hears a Who!

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
― C.G. Jung

"When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are."
― Donald Miller

Edward told her. "I'm done with loving. It's too painful." "Pish," said the old doll. "Where is your courage?" "Somewhere else, I guess," said Edward. "You disappoint me," she said. "You disappoint me greatly. If you have no intention of loving or being loved, then the whole journey is pointless."
― Kate DiCamillo, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Joe,

Thank you for leading this exercise. I have not been able to complete every task from every day, but I would guess that I managed to complete a bit over half of the tasks.

The real key for me is that I now understand more about myself and my relationship with my other person. I realize that choosing to live the "Arbinger" way is not easy and that it actually makes my day more difficult to take that road. However, it has been rewarding to know that I am trying to improve this difficult relationship, regardless of my other person's intent or behavior.

My main take-away from this exercise is that I was focusing too much on the other person. Their behavior, my interpretation of their intentions, even their good fortune and success were causing influence on my behavior that was in most cases counter-productive.

This relationship continues for me, and as a result, my struggle with my own way of being will continue, but I find that I feel better about myself and my impact on those around me, when I focus on the Arbinger values.

Thanks again for this and for making me think!!

I have a perfect opportunity to do this today. I will give it a try and see how it goes.

Update and result:

1. The issue I would prefer to keep private

2. Giving in cost me NOTHING!! (except perhaps a little bruise to the ego)

3. This helps me in the future, because I now understand that I can do things the way this person wants to do them, and still come away with my own understanding (and it didn't kill me to take the back seat)

This was a very enlightening exercise for me.

I agree. This one is challenging. I tried it this afternoon and got absolutely no response (just a "you must be crazy" look). However, I think that simply doing this greeting every day will help ME keep in mind how I wish my way of being to be, and will keep me working toward that end.

Additionally, I would advise others to be cautious of the tone of the greeting. I think I may have come off as being a bit sarcastic (not my intent).

Gail, it was definitely not you!! :)

Hi Joe...I'm in too, but I will also be on vacation next week. I'll do my best to check in and keep up.

A grandfather talking to his young grandson tells the boy he has two wolves inside of him struggling with each other. The first is the wolf of peace, love and kindness. The other wolf is fear, greed and hatred.

Which wolf will win, grandfather? asks the young boy.

Whichever one I feed, replies the grandfather.

(Native American Tale-credited to Black Elk)