Well, here we are - the last day of our 40 day challenge. First, congratulations. If you've stuck with this, then you are to be commended for putting in an enormous amount of energy. And while you may not have accomplished everything you wanted, you have grown, you have learned and you have failed. And that's all okay.
Probably the most frequent question I get about living in accordance with the principles that we've espoused is, "What do I give up?" "When is enough, enough?" The short answer is that you never give up, it is never enough. But that doesn't mean you don't let go. Remember, this effort is about how you respond to others in your innermost being. It is about a shift that takes place in you.
It is not about behavior, or the outward manifestations of your relationship. I believe that you can let go of a relationship, of a struggle without giving up on your desire to be a responsive, loving person.
The Final Challenge What do you need to let go of? Who do you need to let go of? And how are you going to hold onto your desire to be a responsive, "other-centered" person?
When Complete 1. What did you learn about yourself through this process? 2. What's stopping you from being a responsive person? 3. What's next?
Thank you for leading this exercise. I have not been able to complete every task from every day, but I would guess that I managed to complete a bit over half of the tasks.
The real key for me is that I now understand more about myself and my relationship with my other person. I realize that choosing to live the "Arbinger" way is not easy and that it actually makes my day more difficult to take that road. However, it has been rewarding to know that I am trying to improve this difficult relationship, regardless of my other person's intent or behavior.
My main take-away from this exercise is that I was focusing too much on the other person. Their behavior, my interpretation of their intentions, even their good fortune and success were causing influence on my behavior that was in most cases counter-productive.
This relationship continues for me, and as a result, my struggle with my own way of being will continue, but I find that I feel better about myself and my impact on those around me, when I focus on the Arbinger values.
I learned to let go of judging the other person's behavior, comments and simply the other person's way of being (that I do not like). It become easier for me emotionally, for sure. I realized that no matter what I will do to try improve the relationship, it still might not work. Failure is a part of process. Plus, I have to accept the reality.
Also, when I was sick for almost two weeks, I realized there are far more important things in my life that I need to concentrate on. It helped me to realize that I should not worry about the small stuff, personalities of other people or relationships that do not work for me.
"Letting go" was my biggest achievement. It did not come easy for me, but it was definitely worth it!
Thanks Joe! I looked forward to reading each days challenge.... and worked on quite a few. I feel that I should recycle thru the 40 days a few more times! I love this work...but it can be so difficult to change ingrained responses. I guess that is why is it is a practice.....certainly not a one and done!
I agree! I will definitely need to revisit (and revisit, and revisit...) I continue to struggle with "who" I need to let go so, continued evaluation is necessary. Thanks for leading this Joe!!!
Well, here we are - the last day of our 40 day challenge. First, congratulations. If you've stuck with this, then you are to be commended for putting in an enormous amount of energy. And while you may not have accomplished everything you wanted, you have grown, you have learned and you have failed. And that's all okay.
Probably the most frequent question I get about living in accordance with the principles that we've espoused is, "What do I give up?" "When is enough, enough?" The short answer is that you never give up, it is never enough. But that doesn't mean you don't let go. Remember, this effort is about how you respond to others in your innermost being. It is about a shift that takes place in you.
It is not about behavior, or the outward manifestations of your relationship. I believe that you can let go of a relationship, of a struggle without giving up on your desire to be a responsive, loving person.
The Final Challenge
What do you need to let go of? Who do you need to let go of? And how are you going to hold onto your desire to be a responsive, "other-centered" person?
When Complete
1. What did you learn about yourself through this process?
2. What's stopping you from being a responsive person?
3. What's next?
Thank you for leading this exercise. I have not been able to complete every task from every day, but I would guess that I managed to complete a bit over half of the tasks.
The real key for me is that I now understand more about myself and my relationship with my other person. I realize that choosing to live the "Arbinger" way is not easy and that it actually makes my day more difficult to take that road. However, it has been rewarding to know that I am trying to improve this difficult relationship, regardless of my other person's intent or behavior.
My main take-away from this exercise is that I was focusing too much on the other person. Their behavior, my interpretation of their intentions, even their good fortune and success were causing influence on my behavior that was in most cases counter-productive.
This relationship continues for me, and as a result, my struggle with my own way of being will continue, but I find that I feel better about myself and my impact on those around me, when I focus on the Arbinger values.
Thanks again for this and for making me think!!
I learned to let go of judging the other person's behavior, comments and simply the other person's way of being (that I do not like). It become easier for me emotionally, for sure. I realized that no matter what I will do to try improve the relationship, it still might not work. Failure is a part of process. Plus, I have to accept the reality.
Also, when I was sick for almost two weeks, I realized there are far more important things in my life that I need to concentrate on. It helped me to realize that I should not worry about the small stuff, personalities of other people or relationships that do not work for me.
"Letting go" was my biggest achievement. It did not come easy for me, but it was definitely worth it!