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Dongoh Kim

Multimedia Literature Review essays - 0 views

www.directessays.com/...52336.html

sat multimedia sos literature review essay professional

shared by Dongoh Kim on 03 Mar 10 - Cached
  • Dongoh Kim on 03 Mar 10
     
    I found this website that includes many professional essays on literature review
  • Dongoh Kim on 03 Mar 10
     
    I found this website that includes many professional essays on literature review
sunmeeholmes

Behind the Bleachers: Trifecta - 4 views

behindthebleachers.blogspot.com/...trifecta_09.html

shared by sunmeeholmes on 09 Feb 10 - Cached
  • freakish
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 20 Apr 10
       
      Maybe a word with less negative associations would be more suitable?
  • Business is just one aspect of the complex sports world that has kept me so obsessed. I also feel that ethical issues in sports are very intriguing topics because ethics are constantly being challenged and violated - sometimes with little media attention, sometimes with too much.
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 20 Apr 10
       
      Maybe some way of combining these two sentences?
  • The steroid age will be over when you’re gone, Bud.
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 20 Apr 10
       
      Nice... "steroid age" in quotations?
  • ...21 more annotations...
  • Although I enjoy a good demolition named after cheese as much as any other person
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 20 Apr 10
       
      Good aside.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      agreed, I like this sentence
  • He doesn’t always write about popular, media-friendly sports. He is not scared to go down all the way to the high school level. In his post titled
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 20 Apr 10
       
      Good rhythm.
  • does not
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 20 Apr 10
       
      doesn't
  • am hopeful that I can emulate Mark’s professionalism in my blog.
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 20 Apr 10
       
      Perhaps some more imagery in this post would be helpful?
  • wait…a college basketball player?! As Joe notes, it must have gone down like this:
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 20 Apr 10
       
      Very engaging diction.
  • Ah, doesn't everyone love a good Star Wars reference? Joe’s use of imagery here is outstanding.
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 20 Apr 10
       
      Great points.
  • Joe’s writing is great because he can
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 20 Apr 10
       
      Careful of the object in this sentence... you start talking about Joe's writing, not Joe himself. "Joe is a great writer because he can keep his voice..."
  • slam dunk home run knock out…you get the idea.
    • taylorcornelson
      taylorcornelson on 20 Apr 10
       
      Great ending. Enjoyed reading!
  • I want to talk about the impact of sports that stretches beyond the box score. Basically, I will dive into the magical world behind the bleachers – the one we usually don’t hear about.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      I think you can combine these sentences...it's using two analogies to say the same thing
  • To some, success isn’t measured in wins and losses. It’s all business, right?
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      These sentences are a good intro to your voice.
  • I researched the intricacies of the Collective Bargaining Agreements, and I was hooked.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Hmm...you researched this before the age of ten? Props if you did cuz it sounds complicated, but if not, you might want to clarify.
  • An example of the type of issues I hope to discuss
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Skip the "hope to discuss" and be more straightforward. Something like, "my blog will discuss..."
  • I will try my best to make sure that this blog
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Again, be more straightforward. When you write things like "I hope" or "I'll try my best" you're making promises you don't think you'll keep.
  • wish to discuss
  • I do not know if Technorati has filtered out inactive blogs
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Wait, what does this have to do with getting the amount of comments he deserves?
  • he presents topics from both the collegiate and professional level
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      "he also presents topics from the professional level"--collegiate twice is repetitive
  • The blogger, whose name is posted simply as “Mark”, is an attorney working in private practice. He spends most of his time dealing with sports related matters. Mark began work on this blog on January 11th 2005 and has posted about 3-4 times per week since then. His style involves using mostly short, but very information-heavy posts. Some of his posts are simply links to articles related to sports business that he found interesting, but didn’t have time to discuss.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Need some more of your voice in here! I know it's hard because you're listing info about the blogger...maybe you can mention information throughout the post, instead of writing it all down together.
  • Mark discusses the recent agreement that the city of Irving, Texas made with Kraft Foods.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      try to combine this with the next sentence to make it flow better
  • One thing that I really appreciate about this blog is that it does not try to be anything other than what it is. Mark knows that there probably isn’t an overwhelming population that is interested in sports business, but he sticks to his content.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      This is nice! It shows WHY you're interested in his blog.
  • Joe, a former writer for Sports Illustrated, updates his blog nearly every day and enjoys quite a large following.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Ooh, this is a much better way to write the technical info about a blogger...try this on your blogger profile post!
  • His use of all capital letters at the end of the quoted section also demonstrates the passion and aggression that this post was crafted with.
    • sunmeeholmes
      sunmeeholmes on 20 Apr 10
       
      Maybe add a transition? It feels like you just stuck this in at the end.
tommyalexander

The World Of Web 2.0: Voice Analysis: Soshable.com - 1 views

internetwo.blogspot.com/...oice-analysis-soshablecom.html

shared by tommyalexander on 03 Feb 10 - Cached
  • The post is content-heavy; there is little room
    • tommyalexander
      tommyalexander on 04 Feb 10
       
      I like your use of the semi colon to transition from longer sentences to this short one. It is a nice change of pace
  • “Racing to control … goldmine of behavioral marketing … firepower that everyone recognizes.”
    • tommyalexander
      tommyalexander on 04 Feb 10
       
      Good analysis of these very image-heavy phrases
  • gearing itself
    • tommyalexander
      tommyalexander on 04 Feb 10
       
      good word choice here. instead of just plainly saying "it is written for an informed readership", you added your own voice
  • ...8 more annotations...
  • especially potent, in that it visualizes the supposed power of Twitter, while simultaneously implying that this is a de facto statement
    • tommyalexander
      tommyalexander on 04 Feb 10
       
      you are doing a good job of keeping with your educated, professional voice in this post. nice choice of words/phrases to make that stand out
  • illicits a level of understanding between the reader of the author
    • tommyalexander
      tommyalexander on 04 Feb 10
       
      this is good, but I feel like you may be able to come up with a different way of saying this if you want your voice to stand out. I'm not sure about the word choice of "illicits"
  • provoking readers
    • tommyalexander
      tommyalexander on 04 Feb 10
       
      good job with the word choice..."provoking"
  • when at the beginning of a paragraph – if they
    • tommyalexander
      tommyalexander on 04 Feb 10
       
      I like your use of the dash, but I think you need to remove the word "when". (unless I'm reading this wrong)
  • or tone
    • tommyalexander
      tommyalexander on 04 Feb 10
       
      maybe find a different word for "tone" here. it is a little disorienting to read "tone and voice" and "message and tone" in the same sentence.
  • words jump off the page
    • tommyalexander
      tommyalexander on 04 Feb 10
       
      good use of personification
  • inject personality
    • tommyalexander
      tommyalexander on 04 Feb 10
       
      nice word choice with "inject". you could have easily said "incorporate" or even "use", but "inject" really has more imagery than those.
  • formal discussion of the topics at hand
    • tommyalexander
      tommyalexander on 04 Feb 10
       
      i really enjoyed your analysis of this post and how you could relate it to your own blog. stick with your formal voice, it works for you.
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