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Leyla Bonilla

I'm Sorry, I Don't Know, I Can't … | ThinkSimpleNow.com - 1 views

  • Do you find yourself saying the words I’m sorry or I don’t know often? Did you know that this over-sighted language pattern is actually limiting our potential to happiness and ultimately getting what we want?
  • If our conscious mind is indeed “in control” as we believe, then why do we sign up for gym memberships after new years and never go? Why it is that even after we’ve decided on something we really want (like a new hobby), we fail to take action on it?
  • While our conscious mind is the captain of our ship, our unconscious mind is the guys in the engine room, making the ship run. The ship moves because of the work done by these engine room guys. They listen to the commands from the captain, without question. They are exceptional at taking commands and executing them. Since the conscious mind has limited capacity and can only become aware of a very limited set of information, our unconscious mind only surfaces what we consider important. How does the unconscious mind know what’s important? It doesn’t. The unconscious mind determines this based on the frequency of commands it receives of the same topic from the conscious mind.
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  • Each time we have a conscious thought, or we verbalize words aloud, or see a scene in our imagination, it gets fed into our unconscious mind. Like a command from the captain, whether it is our intention or not, the command gets executed in some form; it leaves an impression on the unconscious mind.
  • At times, even for the smallest decision, we would shrug and say “I dunno”. Why? Because it’s an easy answer. We don’t have to think.
  • I recommend we reserve the words I’m sorry to situations when we really mean it, and need it to express our genuine feelings.
  • There is a difference between truly not knowing something and believing that you don’t know something. There’s also the connotation that you do not have the ability to decide or to learn something new. These words are repeated so causally that we start to rely on them out of laziness and habit.
  • if we repeatedly say I’m sorry each time we reply to emails after 2 days, then we’ve programmed ourselves to feel guilt whenever we do not respond to emails immediately.
  • Replace “I don’t know” when making a decision with an alternative phrase. Come up with a list of such alternatives. Here are some ideas: “Give me a moment, I have not decided yet.” “Let me think about it.” “I am evaluating my options.” “Hmmm. Let me see…” Action: List out the options and their pros and cons.
  • Being indecisive sends a similar message to the people around you. We tend to trust and rely on people who are decisive. It is a character strength; especially in business.
  • What we repeatedly do becomes our habits. And if we make a habit out of indecisiveness on small decisions, how will we react when we need to make important decisions in life, in business, or in relationships?
  • Consider the following scenario: Person A: “Where is the salt?” Person B: “On the kitchen shelf.” Person A: “I don’t see it.” Person B walks to where person A is standing, reaches over where person A is looking, and pulls out the salt bottle. It was right in front of person A. Have you been in such a scenario? I certainly have. Did person A truly not see the salt? Or did person A believe that she did not see the salt? Bingo!
  • Remember that our unconscious mind takes commands directly from our words? When we tell ourselves that we do not see something, we are passing the message to our unconscious mind in the form of a command. It proceeds accordingly and makes a note to stop passing anymore messages to the conscious mind when salt bottles are seen. Isn’t that funny?
  • When you want to say “I don’t remember where I put the keys?”, rephrase the question to “If I could remember, what would they be?”
  • Instead of saying “I don’t know how to.”, rephrase to “I have not learned how to do that yet, but I can learn.“
  • When we say I can’t do something, we’ve just declared impossibility as a definite answer. We are telling ourselves that we will never be able to do it, because we lack the necessary capabilities.
  • By saying we can’t do something, we are suggesting that we do not have the ability to learn, that we have given up, that we lack the potential that other gifted humans possess.
  • By saying we don’t have the time, we are impressing upon ourselves that we are very busy, making us feel important. It is an illusion. Yes, we may have a very full schedule, but when we say we don’t have time, it usually means that we just don’t want to do it. Not having enough time is an excuse. If it was important enough, we’d find the time
  • For starters, you don’t have to do anything! You know that. The world will not come to an end if you don’t do something (in most cases). We feel like we have to for one of two reasons: It brings you pleasure/benefit. ie. Something you enjoy doing. It reduces pain. ie. Losing a job or friendship, or an excuse not to do something else.
  • We are in control of our lives, and instead of saying I have to, replace it with I want to, or I am doing something because here are the benefits it brings me.
  • If you don’t want to do something, instead of giving people excuses starting with “I’d love to but, I have to…“, just gracefully say “Thanks for the invite, but I am resting at home tonight.” Or “Thank you. I have plans tonight. Maybe next time.
Caramel Crow

Most Female Child Molesters Were Victims Of Sexual Abuse, Study Suggests - 0 views

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Maxime Lagacé

Don't Shelter Your Children: Coping With Stress As A Child Develops Resilience And Emot... - 5 views

  • We already know that "suffering builds character", but a new study suggests that it may do a lot more than that.
  • Successfully coping with stress at an early age may significantly increase your chances of being a more resilient adult, as well as strengthen your ability to regulate emotions.
  • Parents may feel that by preventing their child from encountering any and all potential hardship they are helping to preserve their emotional well-being, but going through a little stress and encouraging them to cope with it effectively will benefit them far more when it comes to being a more resilient, independent, and emotionally stable adult.
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  • Stressful experiences that are challenging but not overwhelming appear to promote the development of subsequent resilience in children.
  • Youths that were exposed to stress actually had less anxiety, lower levels of stress, and had more confidence in exploring novel situations
  • after coping with stress successfully, your brain says, "Hey, that wasn't too bad. I can handle this."
  • The key point in the article is that mild stress exposure resulted in positive changes in the brain, not torture or a series of near-death experiences.
  • The take-home point is this: not all stress is bad.
  • You can't buffer your child from every non-happy moment in his life, so at least take comfort in the fact that while he is suffering in the short term, he is enhancing his well-being in the long term.
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    Article that explains why we should let our children experience some stress.  Not all stress is bad...
nat bas

How Long to Form a Habit? | PsyBlog - 0 views

  • When the researchers examined the different habits, many of the participants showed a curved relationship between practice and automaticity of the form depicted below (solid line). On average a plateau in automaticity was reached after 66 days. In other words it had become as much of a habit as it was ever going to become. This graph shows that early practice was rewarded with greater increases in automaticity and gains tailed off as participants reached their maximum automaticity for that behaviour. Although the average was 66 days, there was marked variation in how long habits took to form, anywhere from 18 days up to 254 days in the habits examined in this study. As you'd imagine, drinking a daily glass of water became automatic very quickly but doing 50 sit-ups before breakfast required more dedication (above, dotted lines). The researchers also noted that: Missing a single day did not reduce the chance of forming a habit. A sub-group took much longer than the others to form their habits, perhaps suggesting some people are 'habit-resistant'. Other types of habits may well take much longer.
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    it takes two months on average to form a habit
thinkahol *

TEDxRheinMain - Prof. Dr. Thomas Metzinger - The Ego Tunnel - YouTube - 0 views

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    Brain, bodily awareness, and the emergence of a conscious self: these entities and their relations are explored by Germanphilosopher and cognitive scientist Metzinger. Extensively working with neuroscientists he has come to the conclusion that, in fact, there is no such thing as a "self" -- that a "self" is simply the content of a model created by our brain - part of a virtual reality we create for ourselves. But if the self is not "real," he asks, why and how did it evolve? How does the brain construct the self? In a series of fascinating virtual reality experiments, Metzinger and his colleagues have attempted to create so-called "out-of-body experiences" in the lab, in order to explore these questions. As a philosopher, he offers a discussion of many of the latest results in robotics, neuroscience, dream and meditation research, and argues that the brain is much more powerful than we have ever imagined. He shows us, for example, that we now have the first machines that have developed an inner image of their own body -- and actually use this model to create intelligent behavior. In addition, studies exploring the connections between phantom limbs and the brain have shown us that even people born without arms or legs sometimes experience a sensation that they do in fact have limbs that are not there. Experiments like the "rubber-hand illusion" demonstrate how we can experience a fake hand as part of our self and even feel a sensation of touch on the phantom hand form the basis and testing ground for the idea that what we have called the "self" in the past is just the content of a transparent self-model in our brains. Now, as new ways of manipulating the conscious mind-brain appear on the scene, it will soon become possible to alter our subjective reality in an unprecedented manner. The cultural consequences of this, Metzinger claims, may be immense: we will need a new approach to ethics, and we will be forced to think about ourselves in a fundamentally new way. At
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Hypnosis Training Academy

The Difference Between Meditation And Self-Hypnosis - 0 views

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    There's a good reason meditation is part of the morning routine of so many successful people. It not only improves peace of mind, but has been found to increase productivity. Some of the other benefits include: - Lower stress levels - Greater mental clarity - Sharper thinking - Improved overall health But did you know that you can achieve the same things, and much more, using self-hypnosis? This is because self-hypnosis opens you to hypnotic suggestions that can help you make changes in any area of your life. You still get to enjoy the feeling of calm and relaxation. You still get the time you need to collect your thoughts and prepare your mind. But with self-hypnosis, you get a whole lot more. Interested in understanding these two life-changing techniques? Check out this article on the HypnosisTrainingAcademy.com find out why the most successful people have made them part of their daily routines.
Hypnosis Training Academy

Breakthrough Stanford Research: Hypnotic Trance Changes Brain Activity - 0 views

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    A groundbreaking Stanford Study lead by Dr. David Spiegel has revealed what hypnotists have long known about brain activity whilst under a hypnotic trance. That is: some parts of the brain function differently under hypnosis than during normal consciousness. In essence, hypnosis indeed alters brain patterns and activity. These findings might help explain the intense absorption, lack of self-consciousness and suggestibility that characterize the hypnotic state. Would you like to discover more about Dr. David Spiegel hypnosis research findings and how you can use hypnosis to control pain and increase someone's self-esteem? Check out the latest article on HypnosisTrainingAcademy.com now…..
Hypnosis Training Academy

8 Effective Hypnosis Techniques to Deal with Insomnia - 0 views

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    Curious to discover how you can use hypnosis for insomnia? Yes? Great, you've come to the right place. The Hypnosis Training Academy has compiled a list of 8 proven hypnosis techniques for better sleep, energy, and health. This in-depth article discusses the causes of insomnia, the medical side effects of prolonged sleeplessness, 9 non-hypnotic lifestyle changes that can help, in addition to 8 proven hypnosis techniques that'll get to the root cause of insomnia. If you'd like to learn how hypnosis can be used to treat sleep disorders, you won't want to miss this article. Read it, share it and never stop enhancing your hypnosis skills!
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