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Olivia R

Where is the Clean Water? - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

  • As a 13 year old girl in the US walks to her fridge to get a cold glass of ice water, a 13 year old girl in Africa walks almost 3 miles through a hot desert to get a gourd full of warm and dirty pond water. Both girls have to walk to get water, but the girl in the US walks for about 30 seconds through her kitchen and the other girl walks for about 3 hours through the wilderness. This is not just some made up story, it’s true, and its not just with two people, it’s with millions. One in seven people around the world are without clean water, and the dirty water is, like I said before, about 3 to 5 miles both ways for most people living in developing countries.
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    Style
Madeline M

Clean Drinking Water - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

    • Madeline M
       
      great use of credibility because you cited your source
  • In Pakistan lack of access to clean and safe drinking water causes million of people's death every year, as nearly 1.2 million people die each year due to water-borne diseases,”
    • Madeline M
       
      credibility-but you didn't start the beginning of the quote
  • ...8 more annotations...
  • says HRGP Chairman Dr Sheir Ali Rizvi.
  • According to Stephen Williams of African Business there is a major breakthrough in this issue:   “But now, in Kenya's Western Province, a ground-breaking program is distributing highly efficient water filters to rural homes. Called the Family LifeStraw, it is a simple-to-operate device that cleans even the most putrid water to EPA standards - that is, the filtered water is cleaner than bottled mineral water. But the most remarkable thing is the business model behind the program. These water filters are distributed free of charge.”
  • “is responsible for killing 1.5m children every year.” Says Stephen Williams of African Business.  
  • One Billion. One billion people. One billion people that don’t have access to clean water.
  • One Billion. One billion people. One billion people that don’t have access to clean water.
  • One Billion. One billion people. One billion people that don’t have access to clean water
    • Madeline M
       
      great source citing in these quotes
  • "Despite the fact that access to clean drinking water is the basic human right, around one billion people living in developing countries don't have access to it," says Human Rights experts.
Olivia R

Deforestation Realization - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

  •  Have you ever gone outside to get some “fresh air”? Well imagine walking outside and breathing in stale, stuffy, hard to breathe air. Some of you are probably thinking, no that is impossible, but it is not. That bad dream could become a reality in the next 15-20 years! The Amazon Rainforest in South America has been called “The Earth’s Lungs” because it contains nearly a quarter of the Earth’s oxygen, but it has been getting slowly destroyed over the past few years. Deforestation is a real problem in the Amazon now, and it is only going to get worse.    Some people claim that, “the Amazon is one of the most intact and least-endangered forests on the planet… More than 87 percent of the forest is still intact.” That is a complete lie. The rain forest is getting killed off at an extremely fast rate. Some even describe it as, "a rate of 20 football fields a minute”! Not only are the inhabitants of the Amazon suffering; the rainforest itself is in real danger. The Amazon has an interconnected system of rainfall, if some of the rainforest is destroyed the climate patterns will change therefore putting the Rainforest in real danger. Once the system fails the whole rainforest will change forever.
  • The Amazon Rainforest has thousands of animals in many colors, shapes, and sizes. All of these amazing creatures need the unique environment of the Amazon to survive. As you know the rainforest is being destroyed; because of this the animals are losing their homes, causing many species to become extinct. The Amazon loses almost 137 species per day! Some claim that, “There is no scientific basis for saying that…species are going extinct” But, there is. Many scientists have been studying and proving this statement for years. The habitat loss is so severe that nearly 50,000 species will be extinct in the next 2-4 years. By cutting down the settling of land and the cutting down of trees we can decrease the horrifying number of extinct species, by a lot.    Should the future of the Amazon and all of its inhabitants continue to be destroyed until there is nothing left just so that people, millions of miles away, get some wood? No. Sure, some resources in the Amazon are vital for today’s society, but look at the big picture; resources are being taken from the rainforest in an unsustainable and wasteful way. The point is that deforestation in the Amazon is a big problem, and only we have the power to stop it.
  • Work Cited:   Vittal, Devadas. "The Amazon Rain Forest Is in Danger of Being Destroyed." Rain Forests. Ed. HaiSong Harvey. San Diego: Greenhaven Press, 2002. At Issue. Rpt. from "What Is the Amazon Rainforest?" http://www.homepages.go.com/homepages/d/v/i/dvittal/amazon/intro.html. 1999. Gale Opposing Viewpoints In Context. Web. 15 Jan. 2013.                                                                                                                                Morano, Marc. "The Amazon Rain Forest Is Not in Danger of Being Destroyed." Rain Forests. Ed. HaiSong Harvey. San Diego: Greenhaven Press, 2002. At Issue. Rpt. from "Q: Is the Destruction of the Amazon's Rain Forest an Eco-myth?" Insight on the News (2000). Gale Opposing Viewpoints In Context. Web. 15 Jan. 2013.
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    Credibility because of the quotes and works cited.
Tyler W

Persevering Through The Tunnel - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

    • Kevin Z
       
      Didn't really hook the reader with a hook.
  • A theme of Through the Tunnel is to stay persistent when you want to reach your goal.
  • Doris Lessing really knows how to make themes show up in her writing and tells a great story of perseverance.
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  • ." He found himself sitting on the rock and looking down into the water, and he knew that now, this moment when his nose had only just stopped bleeding, when his head was still sore and throbbing he would try."71). This quote is screaming the theme.
    • Tyler W
       
      This quote is great, but the follow-up could use a little more detail
Rachael M

And then the Whole World went Black: Life without Sight - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

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    Good example of style. very smooth and not robotic.
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    Kathleen shows a great deal of style in her blog post. She made the writing sound smooth and not robotic in any way. She uses ways to connect to story to her life and she respects the reader. She also has clearly proofread this piece sense there was hardly any mistakes.The title of her post was very good and grabbed to readers attention. It made the reader want to read it.
Benjamin B

"My Tugging string" Sports Hockey Diving - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

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    Diving. Faking. Exaggeration. Embellishment Here, Jack is showing style in his hook by using one word starters. The words that he used are very powerful and dont need any back up to show what hes thinking.
Jack S

The True Meaning behind everything - Parker Costa Team jack Geiger - 0 views

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    Jack is showing focus and credibility in this piece. He is showing it both in the lead and in the conclusion
Natalie L

One Billion, Thirsty for Water - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

    • Natalie L
       
      here I focused on the reality that one billion people are thirsty.
    • Natalie L
       
      here I focused on the reality that one billion people are thirsty.
  •   One billion people are thirsty and then there’s us who get water so easily, by going to the near by water fountain, opening up a water bottle, or just turning on the sink. We don’t even think about having water to drink, when that one billion people who are thirsty their lives revolve around it. We get filtered, cold, clean water and that one billion people feel lucky when they get dirty water filled with bacteria. I just can’t get over I billion people not knowing when they will drink water next when we get it so easily.
Claire S

No Access - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

  • “Fighting against Dirty Water” clearly has the same point of view, saying “water pollution problems couldn't get any worse, another chemical spill occurs, tainting citizens' drinking water, not to mention putting at risk the health of many animal and plant species.” 
    • Claire S
       
      She sited her source "Fighting against Dirty Water" and then used a quote from the article.
  • The water problems are a big deal and it is affecting people’s lives.  We need to change the way some of these people live.
    • Claire S
       
      Rachael capitalized and used punctuation throughout the whole piece.
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    Good examples of credibility. There was really good capitalization and punctuation. She sited her sources very well.
Kathleen W

Piece of Happiness - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

  • This photo brings back memories that I will never forget. Every time I see this picture, these memories fill my mind and it reminds me that I can't wait to go back. 
  • I chose this photo because it reminds me of great memories.
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    This is a good example of focus because she starts by talking about the great memories this photo reminds her of then she describes the memories then in her conclusion she says ends with " This photo brings back memories that I will never forget. Every time I see this picture, these memories fill my mind and it reminds me that I can't wait to go back." This shows focus because her conclusion ties in to her thesis.
Tyler W

A Picture Says - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

    • Tyler W
       
      This entire piece truly reflects how long Chris has come as a writer this year. He uses passion, voice, and expressive words to reflect on how much this picture means to him.
  • They say a picture says a thousand words. When I look at mine I see friendship and fun times. My picture not only reminds me of a fun but of my friends. It shows me that I have good friends and that when you have good friends you can find happiness. I remember when I first moved to Reading and didn’t know anybody and that wasn’t fun until I got friends. Friendship, that simple word go get you through a lot of things.
Jill D

Frog Dissection Letter - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

  • As a 7th grader myself, I can say that I really enjoyed the frog dissection. It may have been a little gross and smelly but other than that it was an unforgettable learning experience
  • But, I also understand that some kids feel uncomfortable dissecting the frogs and want to do the computer course. I would encourage those kids to at least try to watch the dissection but don't force them into something they don't want to do. It is a great learning experience because it is hands-on and interesting. I think too many kids would miss out on this frog dissection. It is well worth continuing the frog dissection experiment!
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    Maddy did a very good job of using focus in her blog post. She expressed her opinion in the begining then focused on the counter-argument. Then, went right back into her thesis statement connecting back to the begining. It shows great progress because in the start of the year none of us knew how to stay focused or state the other opinion. I can see some very great improvements in Maddy's blogs.
Criostoir F

Cell City Baby! - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

    • Criostoir F
       
      Sounds very choppy
  • Cell City resembles the cell membrane in an animal cell. One reason why is that in the cell rap, it said the cell membrane holds the cell in place just like the fence holds the city in place. Another reason is that the fence lets things go in and out of the city,
Jack S

They are hurting the game. - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

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    Before we know it Pop Warner will be a bunch of kids running around covered with bubble wrap hiting each other. Jack use style by adding in a little sense of humor
Kevin C

Lend A Helping Hand - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

    • Kevin C
       
      I like this paragraph because it makes me realize how bad the conditions in the refugee camps. credibility fits this paragraph well. SLC Kevin C.
Jacob B

Lend A Helping Hand - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

    • Jacob B
       
      My opening paragraph/ hook demonstrates style because I added on the previous thought with each new sentence. Jacob B. & Kevin C.
    • Jacob B
       
      SLC.
Criostoir F

Incredible Determination - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

    • Criostoir F
       
      Kind of sounds robotic and i think he definitely improved in his style
  • the main character, Jerry, is persistent. When Jerry is trying to work towards finding what is in the tunnel, he practices holding his breathe underwater all day, until his noes bled
  • Jerry wanted to have the goggles more then anything based on the text. Based on all of the evidence, it is fair to say that Jerry is persistent in many ways.
Madeleine G

World Hunger - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

  •    Come on, everybody donate to the less fortunate in refugee camps and other people in general. It will make people so happy for them to have food. It doesn’t sound important to us because we can walk down the street and buy food from any store or restaurant. These poor people pray every day that they will have enough food to get through the day, even that is a struggle. It’s not just in unknown, forgotten places. People in America don’t have enough food. It really is sad, so sad.
    • Madeleine G
       
      In the past the author might have sounded a little robotic instead of speaking to the reader.
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    This is an example of style because instead of just stating some facts, the author is actually talking to you in her own words.
Olivia R

Are We Really Safe Online? - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

  •     My mom was actually the one who brought this to my attention. What I thought was her just bugging me and giving me a hard time, was actually her trying to make me aware of the dangers. I know that many of you will still stay on public, but I would like to encourage you to change that. There are so many ways your photos could be taken from you. Instagram could take them as I said earlier, but there is hacking and so many other ways. I have seen accounts that have been hacked, and it is not good. They can hack your account and not only take your photos, but they can comment and post under your name. If you get hacked your Instagram is not all they will gain access to, but also the email that is connected to it. Now, my purpose of telling you this is not to make you get off Instagram or anything else; but to inform you and make you think twice before you do anything on one of those apps.         Your private picture that only your friends were supposed to see could end up everywhere. On TV, billboards, online. Not only could this be embarrassing, but also dangerous. This has never happened to me, but you never know, it could happen to anyone. Always be careful about what you post and where you post it, or that might happen to you.
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    Focus
Jack G

Inside the mind of Dickens - Parker Costa Team - 0 views

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    Seeing this production was great to see the different side of what I had told in my original book. I thought you did a great job and you presented each part well and had a well-played script set out. Id like to say "thankee" for a wonderful portraying of my origin.
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