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Effective leadership is akin to a tango. Everyone knows who is the formal leader before the dance begins. But once the action starts effective leadership reflects a flexible dynamic moving partnership, quality of a relationship. Knowing your ABCs—“awareness” of your “behavior” and its “consequences”—is a key leadership building block.

The behaviors reflect a simple relationship model comprising eight styles and two energy modes. "Describe," "prescribe," "appreciate" and "inspire" reflect push energy—being understood by you and getting my points across to you. "Attend," "ask," "understand" and "empathize" reflect pull energy—striving to understand the points you are trying to get across to me.

Leaders must be aware of their follower’s style, needs and preferences.