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cuttingedge -

"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." - Benjamin Franklin - 3 views

I love this quote! I just posted it on a business site and realized it's wisdom in many other areas... like conscious communications! How can we, as people that highly value relationsh...

prevention

started by cuttingedge - on 26 Nov 08 no follow-up yet
cuttingedge -

Dealing with Anger - University of Florida Counseling Center - 0 views

www.counsel.ufl.edu/...dealing_with_anger.aspx

communications

shared by cuttingedge - on 01 Jan 09 - Cached
  • sidestepping the issue, keeping the anger inside, instead of being direct with a person. Sandbagging results in being indirect and sarcastic. Many people fear hurting someone else’s feelings if they share angry feelings
  • could lead to punitive kinds of behavior or resentment, directly or indirectly
  • People that you are involved with, a boyfriend of girlfriend or a spouse, know when you are angry. There are ways that you show it indirectly. And when you don’t express that anger directly to them, usually they resent it, and the frustration can cause people to withdraw from each other.
  • ...7 more annotations...
  • When you have angry feelings ,you have to decide if this is the right time and the right place to express these feelings
  • Expressing anger is a lot easier if we trust someone. On the other hand, level of trust is not imperative.
  • the most important thing is to trust yourself. Trust your feelings and let your feelings out.
  • Give yourself time, take a few moments, locate the source.
  • choose the right time and the right place to express that anger.
  • tell them your anger in the most simple, direct way you can think of. And always remember that you have the responsibility to express your anger. The other person may not respond the way you want them to--they may not be willing to hear it-- but the important thing is that is their responsibility.
  • You only have the responsibility to tell them and that’s about it.
  • cuttingedge - on 01 Jan 09
     
    be direct and simple as possible. Your responsibility is to let them know. This creates congruence. You are not responsible for their reaction. Expressing it prevents resentment on their part and withdrawl (bc they know you are angry and not discussing it)
cuttingedge -

BBC - Know your conflict style - 0 views

www.bbc.co.uk/...comm_conflictstyle.shtml

communications

shared by cuttingedge - on 12 Nov 08 - Cached
  • Understanding your style can help you act differently and get out of 'argument ruts'.
  • The peacemaker - you don't like arguments and see it as your responsibility to cool things down and sort things out as soon as possible, even if this means ignoring your personal needs or not having your opinions heard.
  • The defensive attacker - you believe that the faster you act, the better. You're highly attuned to possible disagreements and will lay down the law or issue threats to prevent a full-scale battle. It often doesn't work, and even when it does you're left wondering if perhaps you went over the top.
  • ...4 more annotations...
  • The subtle striker - you're tactical and persistent in making your feelings known. You don't like full-on attacks, preferring to wait for your partner to notice something's wrong. You may use silence, nag, moan or just go on and on about it. You often get there eventually, but it's a slow and exhausting process.
  • The full-on foe - you've probably had to fight for your rights all your life and will always give as good as you get. Although you look tough, you're probably terrified of getting hurt and find every disagreement a painful experience.
  • The shock-absorber - you're afraid of arguments and will do anything to avoid getting into one. Rather than defend your rights or attempt to put across your point of view, you sit quietly waiting for the storm to pass. But inside, anger and resentment may be building.
  • The negotiator - you genuinely want to find a peaceful solution to problems without anyone getting hurt. You listen calmly to your partner's viewpoint and are confident when sharing your own. You want the best possible outcome for your relationship and, in your experience, consideration and compromise are the best way to achieve this.
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