How to Ask a question: - 13 views

• 
  #1 cuttingedge - on 04 Dec 08

   

  That was a nice way to ask on a potentially sensitive topic.
  
  1. "I want to be direct and ask ...."
  2. Explained circumstances.
  3. "You can just say yes or no" (polite and empathy)
  4. A gift or some positive news you think they'll like.
  
  What went through my mind:
  1. Because you put it so well and it felt you were sincere when you said 'you can just say yes or no' and meant it.... I felt more open. I felt to say yes. Nice communications!
  2. You were sensitive and put yourself in my shoes, behind my eyes -- "How can he possibly say 'No' without looking like a jerk.".
  
  On a touchy situation you can.
  1. Be even a bit more
  My concern was...
  The reason she wanted to stay didn't sound like much of an emergency or really a 'must'. It sounded like a luxury. IF it really is an unusual important situation then:
  "I know this may not sound necessary but it is truly an unusual situation because..."
  If it isn't really a luxury then maybe say ...
  "I know this really may be a luxury but can ..., it isn't going to be starting a pattern or anything I assure you. "
  2. Assure this isn't starting a pattern:
  My concern was...
  Is this going to be a pattern that will turn into happening all the time?
  Am I going to have to face saying 'yes' or 'no' again next Wednesday too?
  
  The girl already stayed over one night in an 'emergency' because she had a 1 1/2 hour bus ride at midnight. Why didn't she plan ahead? Now she has another 'unusual' situation only a week later?
  
  3. Make it even easier for a person to say NO (even though they might want to, some people feel it's almost impossible and uncomfortable to say NO when asked for something)
  Ideas: You could maybe say "if I don't hear from you by 8:00 I'll just assume that I missed you or that you didn't quite feel comfortable with it THIS TIME".
  a) You make it as easy as possible so they don't even have to say NO or talk to you on the phone.
  b) When you say 'this time' they feel like you aren't judging them forever to be a 'stingy' person that doesn't help people.
  
  Anyway, well done, you made nice communications!

   

  <div class="cArrow"> </div><div class="cContentInner">That was a nice way to ask on a potentially sensitive topic. <br /> <br /> 1. "I want to be direct and ask ...." <br /> 2. Explained circumstances. <br /> 3. "You can just say yes or no" (polite and empathy) <br /> 4. A gift or some positive news you think they'll like. <br /> <br /> What went through my mind: <br /> 1. Because you put it so well and it felt you were sincere when you said 'you can just say yes or no' and meant it.... I felt more open. I felt to say yes. Nice communications! <br /> 2. You were sensitive and put yourself in my shoes, behind my eyes -- "How can he possibly say 'No' without looking like a jerk.". <br /> <br /> On a touchy situation you can. <br /> 1. Be even a bit more <br /> My concern was... <br /> The reason she wanted to stay didn't sound like much of an emergency or really a 'must'. It sounded like a luxury. IF it really is an unusual important situation then: <br /> "I know this may not sound necessary but it is truly an unusual situation because..." <br /> If it isn't really a luxury then maybe say ... <br /> "I know this really may be a luxury but can ..., it isn't going to be starting a pattern or anything I assure you. " <br /> 2. Assure this isn't starting a pattern: <br /> My concern was... <br /> Is this going to be a pattern that will turn into happening all the time? <br /> Am I going to have to face saying 'yes' or 'no' again next Wednesday too? <br /> <br /> The girl already stayed over one night in an 'emergency' because she had a 1 1/2 hour bus ride at midnight. Why didn't she plan ahead? Now she has another 'unusual' situation only a week later? <br /> <br /> 3. Make it even easier for a person to say NO (even though they might want to, some people feel it's almost impossible and uncomfortable to say NO when asked for something) <br /> Ideas: You could maybe say "if I don't hear from you by 8:00 I'll just assume that I missed you or that you didn't quite feel comfortable with it THIS TIME". <br /> a) You make it as easy as possible so they don't even have to say NO or talk to you on the phone. <br /> b) When you say 'this time' they feel like you aren't judging them forever to be a 'stingy' person that doesn't help people. <br /> <br /> Anyway, well done, you made nice communications!</div>

  ...

  Cancel

To Top