AU Communication & Technology

Be more specific about how.

What is the purpose for you? Expand your ideas here. If you say this well it can become your pitch.

The second draft I suggested above should capture the pitch you construct in your five sentences. In short, the reader of this proposal should get excited about your idea. What you have created so far is a fairly solid plan of action, and that is absolutely necessary for success in this area. Now try to really capture your idea in a five sentence pitch that will make others want to take part in your idea.

This is good. You might be able to polish this just a bit. Think about how your passion can inspire your recruitment of others. Try to choose words that will both embody your passion and be accessible to your readers. You're very close to this already.

You've really captured the idea of the 5 Sentence steps. Your sentences stand on their on merit and your descriptions only reinforce your ideas. I think the area for the greatest improvement is in Step #4. The blog will not do this alone. Think about other avenues that can be used to spread your idea. In other words, integrate other forms of media into your idea, or at least open the door to this in your proposal.

BTW, if you and Derek (and even potentially Joe) choose to combine efforts then make sure you work together to create a single proposal.

You have a couple of audiences worth considering and you may need to communicate with those audiences differently. For example, you will need to recruit contributors a bit differently than readers. Try to define both fully and completely. You also may need to divide those two audiences into smaller segments (i.e. students, alum etc.) 

This section also highlights that potential employers for your student writers are also worth considering.

Revise this to really sell your idea. Use these sections as an opportunity to really make others want to participate in your project. Orient your words around your idea more than around you.

Punch up these sentences. This list of rather dry phrases does an excellent job of planning the process, but a not so excellent job of selling the idea. It might be good to keep both levels because they are both useful, but your public face needs to be a bit different. I expect that changes to your five core sentences will also dictate changes to the descriptions below.

While learning HTML, Java, Flash etc. may eventually be necessary, you might be able to simplify things a bit for your prototype. Think about other tools you might use. I recommend that you take a look at Storify in combination with a blog to see if this might help. It may not but it's worth exploring.

What you have described is a bit different than uploading content. Also, make sure you are a familiar with copyright if part of your plan involves borrowing content from other places.

Check out cmap tools

or Xmind.

Punch this up a bit. If you better identify your goal then these sentences will come more naturally. You should also build in a social media campaign to promote and distribute the information you collect. Also think about the organization of these sentences. #5 may your most important sentence yet it's buried at the end. Sometimes chronology works to a disadvantage and thoughts should instead be organized around importance.

If organization of information is one of your selling points, then you need to begin working on developing your system.

It would also be handy if you could create a way for these folks to communicate with one another. Think about what's out there what technologies you could use.

How will users contribute ideas? 

How will it survive? 

See Shirky for some ideas here. What does he say needs to be present for people to join in reaching a goal?

Hey Frank, You might even want to consider making a wiki and sending people the link and branching out that way. It can help make it more organized as well.. ie. categorizing suppliments, training, goals and schedules, etc..

Your responses to the question posed in the notes above may also allow you to refine your response here. The key thing you can do is become a bit more specific about defining your audience.

In short, I'm suggesting that you broaden your goal and more concisely define your audience.

Yeah, starting to realize throughout my whole proposal that I was too concise in the nature of my project and used sweeping generalizations to define my audience. Looking back, I think I need some tinkering in what way these two aspects should unite.

This should be your project's story. This is your opportunity to pitch the idea. Pretend we are considering giving you funds to put this together. Make us believe that your idea is worth funding.

This step is also the framework for your process. The first three sentences you've offered do not really address your project directly. Aren't your goals more in categories like promotion, education, community building etc. Also, think about the verbs in the sentences that you right. Whatever you propose needs to be active and assessable.

1c: You might have a solid idea here. How do college students cook differently than other audiences? Is there a way to tailor your approach to this specific audience in order to offer something that does not exist? Do college students, particularly in dorms, have access to different equipment? Can you make these differences a signature for your program?

1d & 1e: Rework these. Try to use 1d and 1e to sell your idea to audience members and people who might fund your project.

Section 2: Use the five sentences to really summarize your project for your audience and collaborators. See the examples provided on the Drumbeat blog entry. Don't bury your lead. The third sentence is really heart of your project. Lead with that one, then build out of that sentence to explain your project. You, like some other folks doing video projects, might want to consider doing this step twice. One time should focus on your process and production planning. The other should focus on selling your idea in a way that might be presented on a one or two page flyer. If you punch up this section, then you'll have something to show folks and encourage them to help. It seems like you still have a long way to go with your project and you'll need some hands along the way.  Some folks working with video might even want to consider combining efforts so you can learn from one another. The production skills are the same regardless of the content so if your primary goal is to acquire these skills then figure out a way to make this manageable.

Tell us why you chose your approach rather than why you chose the project.

This is an excellent start. If you really think through your project then I think you might even be able to create a bullet list things that students can develop in this environment. BTW, if you guys like this form of feedback (Diigo groups), then you might even integrate this technology into your proposal.

The content is here, but work on the delivery of that content just a bit. How would you react as a student if you were presented with what you have written? In essence, I'm suggesting that you look at the tone more than the content of your statements. A tonal change may also dictate changes to your descriptions below.

NOTE TO THE CLASS: Across the board, the "5 Sentence" sections need to be punched up. Try not only to describe your project in five sentences, but also try to sell that project in the process.

These are good ideas. Bring this information to the first section of your proposal.

Possibly rework this step in a way that focuses on defining your concept. 

It could also be promoted to future students. Think about your audiences more fully and define them all. Pluralizing the audience is generally preferable to singularizing the audience. Who else might be interested beyond students? Is this a project that might be used to define AU and its student body? If so, then how?  Think big!

Do you want to collect it, or do you want to create a way that the students collect it themselves as it is entered? See if there is a way to streamline this process. It might be as simple as SurveyMonkey. Find examples of similar processes and repeat what succeeded in those projects.

End with more punch! Really sell your idea with this final sentence. Tell us why it matters in the headline. The description does a better job of doing this than the headline.

I agree with this sentiment, but on the same token letting loose of the reins might also create a self-moderated community. For example, I could see using a technology like IdeaScale. The ideas can be submitted then voted up or down. If the larger project begins with FYE classes, then the initial list can be more controlled because the info that is collected is done so in a class setting where decorum tends to be a different. In the end, think through the ways this plan could be designed and launched.

If you sketch out your idea, then some of the missing components might become more apparent.

D & E can both be used to really pitch your idea. Think through these questions more carefully. Think of this in the same way that you might apply for a job. This is your opportunity to sell yourself. Would you buy into you based on your responses?

Take a look at some of the example Drumbeat proposals in the Drumbeat blog. Punching up the content in section #2 will help. I think your ultimate goal is to advance yourself in respect to eventually becoming a sports agent. There are a lot of ways to accomplish that goal using social media and web-based media. Think through all of the technologies that we've experienced. What do you need to do to achieve your goal? What technologies can be used to advance that goal? For example, this occupation will eventually require a law degree with a focus on contract law. Can you begin learning the basics now? How can social media help you collect, organize, and retrieve what you have learned or hope to learn. I am not suggesting that you change the project entirely, but based on your goal you ought to think carefully about what will be the best use of the technologies we've discussed for your purposes. Is the blog it?

Excellent graphic. Take a look at your process. What can you replace blog with or add to blog to help you achieve your goal.

See the examples provided in the Drumbeat post. Notice the way it is structured like a pitch. For example, does your first sentence make you want to participate? If not, then rework it so it does. Give this sort of attention to all of the sentences. 

BTW, as you rework these sentences the section that follows will also need to be reworked as a result. The core of what you want to say is here, but it all needs to be punched up some.

How will you recruit? Dig into the process in a bit more detail.

If you plan more fully, then you'll have a better idea of who you need to recruit and what you will need them to do.

There is a lot more to unpack in the step. You need to plan for the pre-production, production, and post-production steps. I can share a rubric from my video production class if it helps.

Here's where you need to leave behind a process that others can pick up and continue in the future. If you do this, then you have the chance to leave something of yourself behind after you graduate.

What else do you need in this studio? Think about lighting, sound, teleprompters, costuming, make-up etc.

Don't underestimate your idea. There are lots of ways that your idea could make the world a better place. If you can answer this question well, then this can help form your sales pitch.

Use these five sentences to clearly explain the importance of having a social media plan. Don't tell them what they don't understand help them understand it.

Think of this step like the outcomes that you have read for our Gen Ed proposal. These five sentences are your objectives or outcomes. The next section involves explaining why these outcomes are important, how you will achieve those goals, and how you will measure your success. If you rethink your response here, then this will necessarily change everything after that.

This sentence has little to do with your plan. 

Have you used iThoughts on the iPad or Cmap Tools on the laptop? You might be able to use these techs or Prezi to improve this graphic.