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Bringing the 5 Steps content to this blog in this way is a copyright violation. You can bring this content here legally by simply linking to it.

This anecdote is useful in contextualizing your idea. The big idea here is clear. I might suggest tightening up the language just a bit but you are on the right track.

The key at this step is to analyze what others are doing. Learn from their successes and failures. Emulate or adapt the former and avoid the latter. It might be useful to even offer some links so the reader can see how your idea is different. Moreover, if you can find certain streams of information to cull ideas from or to participate in conversations with, then it will only help your idea spread. Take a look at some of Henry Jenkins' work on the concept of spreadability.

BTW, your idea of spreading this idea into a network of universities is similar to the idea of a wire service. You may want to look at that structure for some ideas.

One of the other things you are going to need to do is manage your own social media presence. Nothing will sell this service more than demonstrated success. The question how do you want to do this?

This is a pretty good list of what you need to analyzing. How will you collect the data that you need? In other words, when you are analyzing your competition what will you look for? Also, what sources exist that can help you stay two steps ahead? Identify those sources. For example, how might you use Twitter for this purpose?

Eventually, you may want to consider identifying niche audiences. For example, restaurants might need something different that comic book stores. What I am getting at is that the promotional efforts need to be directed (identify type of business, size of business, location of business, or some combination of these factors). I might also suggest that you think about making your concept flexible enough so that the customers do not need to be geographically close by.  How are you gonna reach out to your potential customers? 

Excellent opening.

Aren't you ultimately hoping that this space will spread among the entire student body and Alfred community?

The idea of family creation seems more appropriately located in the section beneath this.

This idea can be stated more plainly and effectively.  You want incoming AU students to explore and interact with the community, and to have them capture and share the experience.

The idea of creating a new social climate might be a bit over-the-top.

Define wiki.

The promotion of your even was handled quite well.

Excellent media mix.