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The survey indicates that parents misunderstand what's important to their kids, underestimate their maturity, overlook problematic behavior and withdraw themselves from their children's daily lives.

"Clearly, there's a connection gap if half the people in a conversation think they don't get a chance to explain themselves," says Kutner. "If one person tends to dominate most conversations at the expense of another, it can create an environment filled with misunderstanding, anger and resentment."

The natural process of growing up and becoming socialized is typically so full of disappointments and confusion that it's essential to have parents who can reliably offer us solace and calm us down when we've depleted our limited coping resources.

e're actually psychologically "enslaved" to our caretakers. And our home can't possibly be a sanctuary for us--a safe harbor where we can dependably feel supported and understood. Rather, it's a place where we're constantly struggling to secure the enduring parental connection that so frustratingly eludes us.

owever unintentionally, such parents can make us feel responsible for their happiness, such that we're prompted to take on the burden of their dependencies

Readers learn of Perry’s fantasies of being “Perry O’Parsons,” a singer in the limelight at a Las Vegas showplace. Readers are told of his dreams in which he is swallowed by a huge snake, rescued at the last moment by a big yellow bird, a Christ figure, that wafts him to heaven.

In some cases, the abuse of children by their parents is barbaric, and it seems little wonder that anything but a fledgling serial killer would come from such horrible squalor.

Childhood abuse may not be the sole excuse for serial killers, but it is an undeniable factor in many of their backgrounds.

In looking to the parents for explanations, we see both horrifying mothers and fathers. The blame usually falls on the mother, who has been described as too domineering or too distant, too sexually active or too repressed. Perhaps the mother is blamed more because the father has often disappeared, therefore "unaccountable." When the father is implicated, it is usually for sadistic disciplinarian tactics, alcoholic rants, and overt anger toward women.

Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answered to, in the strongest conjuration."

The prevailing rule of thumb used to be that the older the child, the more difficult the moving experience will be.

Moving does not have to be traumatic for your children, however; there are many things that you can do as a parent to help reduce the impact for them, right from the moment you share the news with them.

In simple terms, a child may inherit a particular talent, but the talent is immature; it is mere potential. Parents, teachers, or coaches may recognize the potential and do what they can to support it.

Capote became especially close to Smith, whose lonely childhood, physical self-consciousness, and artistic aspirations resonated with the writer.

The immediate social environment is primarily responsible for criminality in our society, e.g., broken families, poor parenting, low quality educational experiences, delinquent peer relations, poverty, lack of equal economic opportunity, inadequate socialization to the values implicit in the American culture, etc.

Crime occurs when the forces that bind people to society are weakened or broken. When the social bonds that individuals have to parents, peers, and important social institutions like the school or the workplace are strong, they fear that their criminal activity may jeopardize their relative position in society and refuse to run the risk of losing meaningful social relationships, careers, etc. Generally, adolescents have weaker bonds to conventional society than adults.

After his parents separated, Smith lived with an alcoholic mother who became a prostitute; a brother and sister who committed suicide

and a father whose fanciful dreams kept Smith moving from place to place, unable to continue his education past the third grade.

In his twenties, Smith has a falling out with his father. They had built a hunting lodge in Alaska, a venture which quickly failed, and after a Page 183  |  Top of Article violent episode where each tried to kill the other, they parted ways.

Some children may still think the dead person will return. Guilt may make a child feel responsible for the death through her own wishful thinking (I wish he would die!), harsh words (You'll be the death of me yet.) or not doing something (I didn't help Grandpa mow the lawn. Now he died.). Fears related to death may arise.

How to help: Be a good listener. Correct any confusing ideas the child may have. Provide play opportunities and routine. Reassure the child the death was not her fault. Provide opportunities to open discussion with a quiet child by reading stories related to death.

Some children in this age range may appear to be unaffected by death on the surface. They may see death as a punishment for bad deeds.

Difficulties during adolescence. Studies have found abused and neglected children to be at least 25 percent more likely to experience problems such as delinquency, teen pregnancy, low academic achievement, drug use, and mental health problems (Kelley, Thornberry, & Smith, 1997). Other studies suggest that abused or neglected children are more likely to engage in sexual risk-taking as they reach adolescence, thereby increasing their chances of contracting a sexually transmitted disease (Johnson, Rew, & Sternglanz, 2006). Juvenile delinquency and adult criminality. According to a National Institute of Justice study, abused and neglected children were 11 times more likely to be arrested for criminal behavior as a juvenile, 2.7 times more likely to be arrested for violent and criminal behavior as an adult, and 3.1 times more likely to be arrested for one of many forms of violent crime (juvenile or adult) (English, Widom, & Brandford, 2004). Alcohol and other drug abuse. Research consistently reflects an increased likelihood that abused and neglected children will smoke cigarettes, abuse alcohol, or take illicit drugs during their lifetime (Dube et al., 2001). According to a report from the National Institute on Drug Abuse, as many as two-thirds of people in drug treatment programs reported being abused as children (Swan, 1998). Abusive behavior. Abusive parents often have experienced abuse during their own childhoods. It is estimated approximately one-third of abused and neglected children will eventually victimize their own children (Prevent Child Abuse New York, 2003).

These include costs associated with juvenile and adult criminal activity, mental illness, substance abuse, and domestic violence.