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Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answered to, in the strongest conjuration."

The prevailing rule of thumb used to be that the older the child, the more difficult the moving experience will be.

Moving does not have to be traumatic for your children, however; there are many things that you can do as a parent to help reduce the impact for them, right from the moment you share the news with them.

Some children may still think the dead person will return. Guilt may make a child feel responsible for the death through her own wishful thinking (I wish he would die!), harsh words (You'll be the death of me yet.) or not doing something (I didn't help Grandpa mow the lawn. Now he died.). Fears related to death may arise.

Some children in this age range may appear to be unaffected by death on the surface. They may see death as a punishment for bad deeds.

How to help: Be a good listener. Correct any confusing ideas the child may have. Provide play opportunities and routine. Reassure the child the death was not her fault. Provide opportunities to open discussion with a quiet child by reading stories related to death.

Difficulties during adolescence. Studies have found abused and neglected children to be at least 25 percent more likely to experience problems such as delinquency, teen pregnancy, low academic achievement, drug use, and mental health problems (Kelley, Thornberry, & Smith, 1997). Other studies suggest that abused or neglected children are more likely to engage in sexual risk-taking as they reach adolescence, thereby increasing their chances of contracting a sexually transmitted disease (Johnson, Rew, & Sternglanz, 2006). Juvenile delinquency and adult criminality. According to a National Institute of Justice study, abused and neglected children were 11 times more likely to be arrested for criminal behavior as a juvenile, 2.7 times more likely to be arrested for violent and criminal behavior as an adult, and 3.1 times more likely to be arrested for one of many forms of violent crime (juvenile or adult) (English, Widom, & Brandford, 2004). Alcohol and other drug abuse. Research consistently reflects an increased likelihood that abused and neglected children will smoke cigarettes, abuse alcohol, or take illicit drugs during their lifetime (Dube et al., 2001). According to a report from the National Institute on Drug Abuse, as many as two-thirds of people in drug treatment programs reported being abused as children (Swan, 1998). Abusive behavior. Abusive parents often have experienced abuse during their own childhoods. It is estimated approximately one-third of abused and neglected children will eventually victimize their own children (Prevent Child Abuse New York, 2003).

These include costs associated with juvenile and adult criminal activity, mental illness, substance abuse, and domestic violence.

In some cases, the abuse of children by their parents is barbaric, and it seems little wonder that anything but a fledgling serial killer would come from such horrible squalor.

Childhood abuse may not be the sole excuse for serial killers, but it is an undeniable factor in many of their backgrounds.

In looking to the parents for explanations, we see both horrifying mothers and fathers. The blame usually falls on the mother, who has been described as too domineering or too distant, too sexually active or too repressed. Perhaps the mother is blamed more because the father has often disappeared, therefore "unaccountable." When the father is implicated, it is usually for sadistic disciplinarian tactics, alcoholic rants, and overt anger toward women.

Some of the children grab their bottles and eat lustily, and some--often the same ones--demand attention, crying, spreading their arms to be held. Their eyes beg for human warmth and affection. Others are already passive and withdrawn. Their bottles lie untouched, as though they are too weak, too indifferent, or still too young to make the effort.

She feels that such human contact would be cruel to children who have never known warmth or affection or holding, and would perhaps prolong their dying. Instead she gives all her energy and unconditional love to the little ones who respond to it energetically.

disfigured monsters with severe abnormalities

child grows up knowing her mother is her sister

child knows it is the twin of a dead brother or sister

Although he is the youngest, it seems as though he is the lost one in the family- no one is there to help him figure out or understand the concept of death,

Vardaman is alone in thought and age difference in the family and he sort of becomes an orphan when he loses his mother

The natural process of growing up and becoming socialized is typically so full of disappointments and confusion that it's essential to have parents who can reliably offer us solace and calm us down when we've depleted our limited coping resources.

e're actually psychologically "enslaved" to our caretakers. And our home can't possibly be a sanctuary for us--a safe harbor where we can dependably feel supported and understood. Rather, it's a place where we're constantly struggling to secure the enduring parental connection that so frustratingly eludes us.

owever unintentionally, such parents can make us feel responsible for their happiness, such that we're prompted to take on the burden of their dependencies

It is important to remember that a young child's perception is oriented in the five basic senses. It is concrete, short-range and based on what is felt in the moment. A young child does not comprehend the concept of death. A person is gone; then a person is there. When a person is gone and then still gone and then still gone, a child may grieve at each moment when he or she feels the person's goneness.

Children may ask questions repetitively. The answers often do not resolve their searching. The searching itself is part of their grief work.  Their questions are indicative of their feelings of confusion and uncertainty. Listen and support their searching. Answer repetitively. You may have to tell the story over and over and over again.