One night in 2007, as they moved from the living room couch to the bedroom for lovemaking episode, K.D. agreed to being erotically asphyxiated — choked to the point of unconsciousness, which some people apparently find heightens the sexual experience.
I am certainly not here to judge anybody’s sex life when both parties consent to the activity. Neither should the court.
K.D. gave prior consent not just to the choking but also — the defendant’s lawyer argued and the complainant later acknowledged — to the insertion of a dildo while she was unconscious. “At the moment, I just went with it, in the spirit of experimentation,’’ she testified.
By her own estimation, K.D. was unconscious for about three minutes and, when coming to, discovered she was being anally penetrated by the dildo. It was removed some 10 seconds later and the couple then had vaginal sex. There was no evidence the woman ever did anything against her will, that permission was revoked by words or conduct, that the husband had failed to ascertain or misunderstood that consent had been given, or that consent was somehow “vitiated’’ by intentional infliction of bodily harm.