To forgive someone is to understand that something bigger is at play than right and wrong. What you're forgiving isn't what happened. What you're forgiving are the imperfections that are inherent to all human beings. (Samantha Lawler)

Look closely and you will find that people are happy because they are grateful. (David Steindl-Rast)

Human beings may not be eager to change, but we have the ability to change, and the fact that many of our self-protective delusions and blind spots are built into the way the brain works is no justification for not trying. The ultimate correction for the tunnel vision that afflicts all of us mortals is more light. (Carol Tavris)

When nobody around you seems to measure up, it's time to check your yardstick. (Bill Lemley)

Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder. (Henry David Thoreau)

The only wisdom we can hope to acquire is the wisdom of humility: humility is endless. (T. S. Eliot)

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. (Anaïs Nin)

He who thinks that he is finished is finished. How true. Those who think that they have arrived, have lost their way. Those who think they have reached their goal, have missed it. Those who think they are saints, are demons. (Henri Nouwen)

If we miraculously became the people we dislike, how lovable we might find ourselves. (Unknown)

Constantly I find myself 'making up my mind' about somebody else: 'He cannot be taken seriously. She is really just asking for attention. They are rabble rousers who only want to cause trouble' These judgments are indeed a form of moral killing. I label my fellow human beings, categorize them, and put them at a safe distance from me. By judging others I take false burdens upon myself. By my judgments I divide my world into those who are good and those who are evil, and thus I play 'All Knowing'. But everyone who plays 'All Knowing' ends up acting like a demon. (adapted, Henri Nouwen)

Compassion is defined as a "keen awareness of the suffering of another coupled with a desire to see it relieved." People hurt others as a result of their own inner strife and pain. Avoid the active response of believing they are bad; ...they are damaged and they deserve compassion. Note that compassion is an internal process, an understanding of the painful and troubled road trod by another. It is not trying to change or fix that person. (Will Bowen)

I've always loved this quote. Thanks for sharing!

We don't set out to save the world; we set out to wonder how other people are doing and to reflect on how our actions affect other people's hearts. (Pema Chödrön)

Often times, recognizing justification in ourselves can begin to free us from the trouble it creates. Self-Justification can be seen once we know what to look for: Are we blaming? Playing the victim? Obsessing about who is right and who is wrong? Are we horribilizing others (i.e., inflating their faults or minimizing their positive qualities)? Are we giving ourselves and our own weaknesses a pass? Or might we even be obsessing over our own weaknesses as justifications for why we can't engage more with others? Are we defensive? Do we shut down around others? Do we feel like avoiding others? Each of these things can be signs of "being in the box" and having a warring heart. (Arbinger, Beyond Right and Wrong Group & Self-Study Guide).

The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows. (Sydney J. Harris)

Some of the hardest tasks in the world are neither physical feats nor intellectual achievements, but moral acts: to return love for hate, to include the excluded, and to say, "I was wrong." (adapted, Sydney Harris)

Congratulations! And thanks for being brave!

The research tells us that emotional intelligence is a far better predictor of success than intellectual intelligence. Above a certain level intellectual intelligence does not help you become more successful.

Our maturity will be judged by how well we are able to agree to disagree and yet continue to love one another, to care for one another, and cherish one another and seek the greater good of the other. (Desmond Tutu)

If we find fault - if we're looking for fault - it's usually because we are ashamed of ourselves and are trying to pin our lives on somebody else... On the other hand, when we tell ourselves the truth we can't live a lie anymore. We can't live the lie that other people are our problem and we are not. And when we realize that we are the problem, that sets us free. (C. Terry Warner)

Gail - thank you for adding to our knowledge about self-deception. Glad to see you on the forum!