It's a bit like getting a glass of water barefoot, but the floor is covered in broken glass from all the bottles you smashed while wasted the night before. The objective couldn't be easier, but the wreckage in the way and the pain and the effort involved in accomplishing your goal seems insurmountable in your weakened, deluded state.
"If you've ever taken painkillers for an injury, then you may recall that the painkiller didn't in any way help to heal the injury. In fact, by hiding the pain from you, it gives you the ability to aggravate the injury even further- leaving you with an even worse pain when the effects of the medication wear off. On the other hand, if you had allowed yourself to feel the pain, you would realize you needed to treat the area of injury with care, keep off the foot, whatever, and allow it to heal with the gentleness and special attention it requires. This is, after all, the very purpose of pain; to show you where you are vulnerable so you can take the appropriate steps to remedy it.
If you drink now, you will rob yourself of the chance to properly heal from this brutal and heartbreaking blow."
In my case, I finally realized it made no difference whether or not I was an "alcoholic" by any definition. Being an "alcoholic" is all about the negative impact that alcohol has on my life. But once I realized that alcohol's positive impact on my life was absolutely zero, there was no point parsing out fine distinctions about how to define my drinking habit. You're balancing a scale - harms to benefits. When the benefits have zero weight, the harm end of the scale just clanks to the ground no matter how little weight you put on it.
"I always wanted to be mystified by it all - and rather fascinated with life itself. I think maybe when you drink, you're probably robbing yourself of that genuine experience, even though it appears what you're doing is getting more of it. You're getting less of it."