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In my previous post, I introduced you to the first part of Pamela Haag's provocative new book, Marriage Confidential: The Post-Romantic Age of Workhorse Wives, Royal Children, Undersexed Spouses, and Rebel Couples Who Are Rewriting the Rules. The 21st century, she argues, is a post-romantic age of melancholy marriages. The couples are not acutely stressed nor entangled in constant conflict - they are just melancholy. They signed up for the marriage pact and lost a vital part of themselves in the process. In that first post, I reviewed some of the problems that Haag diagnosed as plaguing some contemporary marriages. Here, I will go through a few of them and tell you about some of the solutions Haag learned about in her research and interviews. Remember, her goal is not to generate alternatives to marriage but alternatives within marriage that have the potential to keep the marriages together. To longtime readers of Living Single, I bet you will anticipate the conclusion I am leading up to before you get to the end of this post.

Entering a new relationship when you are still feeling emotionally connected to your previous partner is a complicated affair, and most self-help books, newspaper articles and blog posts strictly advise against entering such rebound relationships. Indeed, the average advice column will ordinarily contend that rebound relationships distract us from dealing with lingering emotional ties and are unhealthy in that they keep us from achieving resolution. However, in the July edition of the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin we find a study that begs to differ from this popular notion by demonstrating possible merits of rebound relationships. In particular the study shows that rebound relationships might actually help anxiously attached individuals let go of their former partners and achieve closure.

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In the modern world, ego is on the rise and values are on decline, which is the reason why relationships have become so fragile. As a result, we have seen so many marriages and love affairs having a really bad fate, with people parting on unfriendly notes.