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Being poor is the police busting into the apartment right next to yours.

Being poor is needing that 35-cent raise.

Being poor is your kid’s teacher assuming you don’t have any books in your home.

Being poor is crying when you drop the mac and cheese on the floor.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you’re not actually stupid.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you’re not actually lazy.

Being poor is a six-hour wait in an emergency room with a sick child asleep on your lap.

Being poor is getting tired of people wanting you to be grateful.

Being poor is deciding that it’s all right to base a relationship on shelter.

Being poor is feeling helpless when your child makes the same mistakes you did, and won’t listen to you beg them against doing so.

Being poor is knowing where the shelter is.

Being poor is people who have never been poor wondering why you choose to be so.

Being poor is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.

Being poor is seeing how few options you have.

Being poor is people wondering why you didn’t leave.

Being poor is staying with a man who beats your kids because you can’t afford to keep them out of foster care without his salary.

Being poor means making decisions like “is stealing food a sin” outside of an ethics class.

Being poor is realizing that heating and eating will probably be mutually exclusive this month.

Being poor is discovering that that letter from Duke University, naming you as one of three advanced students in your class invited to test out of HS early into their scholarship program, is just so much firestarter because the $300 it costs to take the test may as well be $3 million.

Despair is finally realizing, at nearly 36 and with a barely-afforded AA in English from a community college, just where you could have been by now had you had $300, and what that missed opportunity has truly cost you.

Being poor is understanding that the lowest, poorest, starvingest time of the month for anyone on public assistance is exactly when Katrina hit.

Being poor is taking a cash advance from the credit card–to pay the credit card minimum bill.

Being poor is trying to decide which one of you gets to eat today – the one of you that is pregnant or the one of you that can work.

Being poor is a sick, dreadful feeling of your stomach dropping out when the phone rings, because you know it’s a bill collector and you know you’ll pick it up anyway on a one in a million chance someone does want to hire you.

Being poor is laying down because it hurts to breathe and you are pregnant, but you can’t afford to go to the hospital.

Being poor is crying when $50 bill you didn’t expect gets taken from your paycheck.

Being poor means never forgeting that the bills aren’t paid.

Growing up poor is spending the rest of your life trying to escape (and never realizing that you have)

Being poor means looking at life in such a different way that most people can’t imagine it.

Being poor means being grateful that you’re living paycheck to paycheck.

Growing up poor means you feel guilty when you escape, because your siblings didn’t.

Being poor means saving the plastic containers and jars from yogurt or spaghetti sauce so you can take milk with you to school in your lunch after they lower the income limit for free lunches and your mom makes $3 more than the limit.

Being poor is choosing between the lesser of two evils and not realizing it.

Being poor is a motivator to never be as poor as your parents.

Being poor makes you appreciate everything you’ve earned.

Being poor gives you the ability to look at supporting your still poor mother as an honor not a burden.

Being poor is worrying that someday you will wake up, find yourself lying beneath a blanket in the back of that station wagon and realizing that your escape and rise was just a dream.

Being poor is a month with 28 spaghetti dinners, 2 invitations over to eat, and a day without.

Being poor is carrying your fiancee to the hospital to miscarry, then using their phone to call around for someone to take you back home, since there aren’t beds for Medicare patients.

Being poor is wondering what sort of fool drops a penny on the ground and doesn’t pick it up.

Being poor is wondering what to say when your friends ask you to join them for coffee in the campus coffee shop, and you can’t because you thought you had a couple bucks cash but you must have left it in your coat at home, and so you have to use all the change you dug up from under the seat for gas to get home after classes.

Being poor is pretending to any major, religion or career interest to get free pizza on campus.

Being poor means dreading getting a Christmas present from the Fireman’s Charity, because you’ll end up on TV and everybody at school will find out.

Being poor is wearing the same dress to school every day for four months, then getting “new” clothes from the church for Christmas and changing your clothes three times in one day because you can.

Being poor means not being able to take a better job because the shift ends are after the busses stop running, and you don’t feel safe walking the two miles home after dark.

Why is is so hard to remember poverty once you get past it, if you get past it? Why is it so hard to empathize with poverty if you have never had it? What the hell is wrong with us?

Being poor means learning firsthand the meaning of words like “eviction,” “garnishee,” “repossess,” and “transient motel.”

Being poor means paying a premium on food and goods at local stores that jack up prices for being in a poor neighborhood, or simply because they can.

Being poor means buying bread at the “day old store” even though it’s a lot older than one day.

Being poor means paying high prices for exprired meat at the bodega, because there isn’t a supermarket chain willing to open a store in your neighborhood.

Being poor means your 10 cent an hour raise is almost negated by the 25 cent increase in bus fare.

Being poor means watching your disabled child get worse and worse because you can’t afford the therapies.

Being poor means having your life gone over with a fine tooth comb to see if you’re bad enough to help.

Being poor is feeling ashamed when your ‘peers’ slam WalMart, and talk about buying organic, and the horrors of driving gass-guzzling cars, all while wondering why you repeatedly find ways to not join them at $15/plate social dinners.

Being poor is avoiding spending time with people you care about, because you don’t want to have to answer “how are you doing?”.

Being poor is having your best friend’s mother compliment her for hanging out with you–shows good moral fiber, don’t you know.

Being poor is having your mum scrimp and save to get you the latest “in” thing, just as it goes out of style. (But you wear it anyway, so she doesn’t feel bad, and then all the kids at school make fun of you.)

Being poor is being the family that everybody knows it’s okay to pick on.

Being poor is having your house egged and a firecracker tossed through your front door because some kid thought it was funny.

Being poor is losing your special lunch card and seeing the snotty kid across the street find it, chop it up with scissors, and return the pieces to you.

Being poor means going to a church school on a Pell grant and trying to get your associate degree in one year, because you know your sibs are close on your tail, and your family has barely enough money to send you.

Being poor takes time. Time to wait in line for the reduced-price clinic while gathering all your paperwork, and hoping you have it in order so you won’t be sent home to get one little slip of paperwork. Time to wait in line at the food bank, where people fight to get to the one box of expired Entemann’s first. Time that you spend walking back home or waiting beside your POS car because it broke down for the umpteenth time. Time that you spend at your minimum wage fast food job after hours because you really don’t want to go home, and the manager might just feed you.

Being poor means that if you pull yourself up and stop being ‘poor,’ you will still be struggling and behind, because a large chunk of your money will go toward cleaning up all the stopgaps, mistakes, and overcharges you accumulated when you were poor.

Being poor is everything gets washed by hand in the bathtub with the smallest amount of dollar-store detergent.

Being poor means choosing between a cup of coffee, a newspaper, or a load at the laundrymat. You can’t have all three, or even two of them. ever.

Being poor is everything must be mended, pinned, taped, glued or stapled for a little more use.

Being poor means two or three jobs, and never enough time, sleep, or money. never.

John, thanks for this. This is so spot-on it hurts. And I don’t have to do any of these things any more, but you really don’t ever forget what it’s like to do them.

Being poor is really, really pushing your two-year old during potty training, because diapers are really, really expensive.

Being poor means that you laugh hysterically when you watch the financial planning segments on the Today Show, because the thought of starting a college fund for your child is so far beyond the pale that if you don’t laugh, you’ll start to cry and you’ll never stop.

Being poor means that three years after you’re not poor anymore, you still know exactly what everything costs; you still feel like a dinner at Chili’s or even Wendy’s is a huge splurge; and you still feel like you can’t afford to buy a six dollar belt at Target. And you still buy ramen.

Being poor is obviously your fault, even though the biggest, fattest reason you had to file bankruptcy in the first place was because your husband frivolously got cancer while laid off. How silly of him! And then he couldn’t find a new job until he was done with treatment because oddly, employers are shy of hiring bald, vomiting people with IV ports taped into their arms.

Being poor is being horrified when you see a very young person from your area with an arm, neck, or hand tattoo, not because corporate America generally bans such things… but because fast-food and retail America does, too.

Being poor is being bumped by somebody carrying a Prada tote bag on your way to pick up your paycheck… and instantly realizing, without having to calculate, that in terms of actual cash value, the tote bag is worth far more than the paycheck.

Being poor means selling blood plasma and signing up for every medical experiment they’ll let you into, and breezing past the disclaimer form because, really, are you going to give up $100 just because you may be risking injury or death from whatever they’re giving you?

- Being poor is spending money you know you don’t have on a candybar because you need something to cheer yourself up enough to get out of bed.

Being poor is sleeping everyone to one bed so you’re a little bit warmer.

Being poor is having friends who’s parents won’t let them sleep over because you live in that part of town.

Being poor is not caring that starchy carbs are bad for you, rice and pasta are cheap, and it’s either that, or nothing at all.

Being poor is the lunchlady feeling bad for you so she sneaks you leftovers from after all the classes have eaten, for you to take home for dinner.

Being poor is learning to like skim milk because it’s a nickel cheaper than whole.

Being poor means your husband is working – when he can get work – at Labor Ready, and you’re at the food bank. Being poor means your husband is sharing his main meal of the day with someone who hasn’t eaten for three days.

Being poor is rejoicing the fact you miscarried

Being poor is becoming a stripper just to make the rent, and hating yourself for it.

Being poor is washing up in public bathrooms and sampling fragrances at the department store so you don’t smell bad.

Being poor is sleeping in stairwells.

Being poor means mom and dad do not sit and eat dinner with you. They eat after the kids are done with what’s left. Dad’s dinner is wiping clean the bits from the frying pan with a piece of bread.(He still does that out of habit just like grandpa.)

Being poor is not having sex because you can’t afford birth control and you’re smart enough to not get pregnant

Being poor is rejoicing in the fact that after five years, the color of your expired vehicle tags has cycled back around, and there’s less of a chance of getting pulled over for your 2001 tags.

Being poor is counting your food money for the week and knowing you will have to walk the two miles to the grocery with three children under the age of six.

Being poor is hearing your daughter tell you twenty years later that she finally realized that ‘Mommy already ate, sweetie’ was a lie.

Being poor is not being able to afford to pursue the ex who owes you child support.

Being poor is having a judge give him custody because HE isn’t poor.

Being broke is making a meal and sitting the kids down at the table, and sipping a glass of watered down powedered milk while they eat.

Poor never seems to leave us completely. No matter what we do or have done, we will always be haunted by the tears and shame of poverty. The worst part: even if our kids escape, THEY REMEMBER forever. A legacy we’d rather not give.

Being poor is having someone tell you that if you own _____ (A car, a TV, a bed) then you really aren’t poor, & realizing they’re either stupid, or worse off than you

Being poor means a 4 hours of commuting for a 6 hour shift.

Being poor means putting a beloved pet to sleep because you can’t afford the vet bill.

Being formerly poor means that your never-poor spouse resents the hell out of the fact that you still give your mom and siblings money – money that could have gone to “our” family. It means your spouse never quite thinks of your family as her family too because the resentment is there.

Being poor is throwing up six times a day because you are pregnant and don’t have health care. Being poor means that you can’t even scrape together enough change to ride the bus to the neonatal clinic, and it’s the middle of summer and too far to walk. Being poor means pondering an abortion because you know everybody around you is equally strapped for cash, you only get one meal a day, and you don’t see that changing in the immediate future. Being poor means after much tears and thought, when you finally decide to have the abortion, you have to borrow the money to get it done. Being poor means that if you’d kept the baby, some rich people would accuse you of abusing the welfare system. Being poor means that by getting the abortion, some rich people accuse you of murder. Being poor means weeks of crying and hating yourself.

being poor is mom and dad being humiliated saturday and sunday to pay your failed attempt at the american dream, because first you’re not american, second you are not rich, third you are not america educated, and all those dollar-master slavering world wonderpeople can tell you, making fun, is: born in the wrong country pal, hahaha.

being poor is working hard and never had worked enough.

Being poor makes you appreciate the value of free napkins, plastic food utensils, matches, condiment packages, plastic bags, or any other giveaway item of use in the home.

Being poor means never having leftovers.

FYI: Nick Mamatas has a few additions to the list (from an international perspective) here.

pictruandtru: you, more than anyone else here, need to read John’s article over and over again, until you get it. It was you he wrote it for. Being poor is people wondering why you didn’t leave.

Being poor (or having been poor) means you know that if there is a devistating economic crisis, you will know how to survive when those who never were poor are paralized with fear. Being poor is knowing you are strong and resourceful.

As a born-and-bred welfare kid raised by TV and cheap supermarket off-brands, I see my mother in many of these statements. She worked so hard to raise herself out of crushing poverty, with little or no useful help from the government or well-meaning “liberals” with social-science degrees that I can only shake my head and wonder how it was I got out of the poverty trap at all. I think I was just lucky. I also happen to be white and male, and I’m reasonably sure in today’s world this is a certain advantage.

Being poor means that someone who has never been poor will never really understand what it’s like.

Being poor means you no longer have to fill out the forms at the ‘payday loan store’ because they have your information memorized.

I joined the military so they would fix my teeth. I brushed everyday. And flossed. But never had dental insurance. Only got cleanings maybe once in my childhood.

The point is when something goes wrong, for whatever reason, being poor means your options are limited, and what options you have are often likely to cause you pain.

When you’re middle-class or well-off, you can absorb a certain amount of the crap life throws at you. When you’re poor, you really can’t.

Being poor means understanding that Internet flamewars are a tragic waste of time better used bettering yourself. Use that time and effort to build yourself up rather than tear a stranger down- you’ll feel better afterward.

Being poor means being stuck around people who want you to continue to be poor.

Being poor means not being able to take advantage of all the really great sales that come along — because they only seem to happen when you don’t have the money in hand.

Being poor is having the grocery store checker give you dirty looks and make comments to the next customer about “my tax dollars being wasted” when you use food stamps to buy a day-old cake on sale and a package of birthday candles for your child. Being poor is being overwhelmingly grateful that the next person in line says to the checker, “I can’t think of a better use for my tax dollars than to pay for a poor child to have a birthday, you heartless prick.”

I still use tea-bags twice. I won’t eat ramen, because I ate far too much for too long. I consider myself well-off because I have a lot of books and I never skip a meal. I know exactly how much things cost, and shop at two supermarkets because one has cheaper prices on produce and meat, and the other has cheaper canned goods. And I know the usual price of everything I buy on a regular basis, so I know whether the “sale” price is really a good deal. And when it is, I stock up, just in case.

I worked for a bank for a while after finishing my bachelor’s degree, and here’s what I learned: Being poor means the bank doesn’t want you as a customer. Being poor means you will pay the highest fees for every service. Being poor means you will pay the highest interest on any loan. On the other hand– Being rich means all service charges will be waived on your accounts, because you’re a preferred customer. Being rich means never waiting in line, because the bank manager greets you when you come in and takes you to a customer service representative who handles your transactions.

Being poor is knowing how to sew.

Being poor is having a lower Social Security number than your classmates in high school, because you had to get one young to get welfare.

Being poor is finding prostitution a valid way to pay the electrical bill, and then lying to your spouse about where the money came from.

Being poor is exploding at the old lady who has taken all the 20c bread at the day-old store to feed to the fraggin’ SQUIRRELS.

Being less poor is living close enough to work and the store and the library to walk and NOT have to buy gas.

Being less poor is 10c for a packet of seeds that produces zucchini in your yard all summer.

I tell you this not to display my saintliness, but to put into perspective a conversation I have not infrequently with other members of my profession: ME: …no, I’m really tense about this case. If we lose, Mrs. Smith and her nephew have nowhere to go. She’s on a fixed income. What if I screw up and it costs them their apartment? OTHER LAWYER: Wow. Well, it could be worse. I mean, what if it were a big commercial-litigation case, and you screwed THAT up, and lost twenty million dollars for the client? At least the pro bono cases are over, what, five hundred dollars or something? (Pop Quiz: do you think the Other Lawyers who make such remarks have ever been poor?)

Being poor means you don’t count (unless you are pretty).

Being poor is never looking down on a man begging for change, mainly because you have seriously considered doing it.

Being poor is having the luck and luxury of growing up rich and having no resources whatsoever when you are tossed out of your parents house with no money for “the gay thing” because it’s an embarrasment to daddy and his ilk.

Being poor is making the rent and bills by six dollars and not having any left over for grocery shopping that week because that six dollars is for gas to get to work.

Being rich to poor means your parents make too damn much for you to get student loans so you have no way of getting any help, whatsoever.

Being rich to poor means that you can’t fathom how your family of two that you no longer live with lives in a 5500 square foot house.

Being rich to poor is your dad telling you it’s strange you don’t have a car, when you are paying for college on your own and he has just bought your younger, non-gay sibling, a BMW.

Being rich to poor is when your father visits your new apartment – the one you’re making it all on your own in – and tells you to move because you’re living “in a ghetto” as he drives home in his Mercedes.

Being poor means burning in shame because this is the most you could afford and you spent hours cleaning before he arrived.

Being rich to poor is being too ashamed to leave my name on this.

And being poor means you will probably be punished because you *did* leave

Being poor means teaching yourself to not notice feeling hungry.

Being poor means people making fun of your weight and calling you “anorexic” when you’ve been unable to have more than one meal a day.

Being poor is knowing you’re always under a microscope: Human Services, Housing Assistance, Social Security…but also, your friends, your family, and strangers who seem to think you’re lazy, unmotivated, or stupid for being in the situation you’re in.

Being poor is scraping enough money to go home to your family for Christmas and not having any gifts for them.

Being poor is using your stamps to buy pints of milk in glass bottles, then sitting outside of the supermarket, drinking the milk, rinsing out the bottle, and trading it in for a dollar cash so you can afford the co-pay on your prescriptions.

Being poor is never being able to afford to see a doctor for monthly cramps so bad they make you miss work; spending month after month for years hoping they just go away; and then finally getting seen and told you’re going to be infertile for the rest of your life, and that you could have avoided this had you come in sooner.

Being poor is sitting on a dusty brick sidewalk with a cheap recorder and a Goodwill hat, enduring snotty yuppie tourists, high school boys who make innuendos or say “get a day job”, police officers saying “You’re not doing anything illegal, but…”, and threats of physical violence from drunks, all in the hopes that someone will deign to put a dollar in.

Being poor is realizing that you will do just about anything necessary to feed your kids, including giving a blow job to a guy for $10.

Fifteen years ago, when I started in at a school, the packed that home room teachers got contained for each kid on opening day: 1 schedule, 1 emergency info form, 1 student handbook, 1 athletic dept. handbook 1 insurance form (AD&D plus emergency med. for school-related activities) and for a class of 20, three or four free/reduced lunch forms. You were supposed to give these to the students who asked for them, and get more if they weren’t enough. No one understood why I threw a hissy fit and made sure that there was one form per kid, just like all the other paperwork. Sometimes things do get slightly better. We now have cafeteria swipe cards, and the free kids and paying kids both just swipe their cards. The difference is that the paying kids have to top off their card balances with cash periodically.

Being rich to poor is your father casually talking about a utility bill that is the cost of your rent.

Being rich to poor is your father casually talking about half your years wages that he made in a week’s time.

Poor is living next to a crack house, being on a first name basis with the local prostitute, having murder weapons tossed in your back yard, and running from gangs.

Living in a house that’s literally falling apart. I used to get snow in my bedroom and water during thunderstorms.

By Katrina standards, however, my family was rich. We would’ve been able to evacuate. We had credit cards and family that would’ve helped us.

America, the land of opportunity, so long as you aren’t poor.

Being poor is hoping your bike doesnt break during your one hour cycle to work.

Being poor is walking for 3 hours to get to work because your bike broke.

Being poor is coming up with a different excuse every day why your not going to lunch (& dont eat any).

Being poor is thinking about the man who propositioned you while you were walking home some time back, and wondering just what he wanted to do to you or have you do to him, and how much he might be willing to pay for that.

Being poor is eating government commodity white rice with salt and pepper from packets that you kept from the last time you had fast food, and telling yourself that you actually prefer it that way.

Being poor is thinking of job benefits not in terms of health care, vacation, or retirement plans, but in terms of leftover or past-expiration-date food.

Being poor is being furious at the job interviewer who tells you that they won’t give you the nine-to-five office job because they don’t think that you can “adjust” from scrubbing out toilets on the graveyard shift.

Being poor is being furious at the manager of your rooming house for throwing away your bicycle because it was in such bad shape that he thought it had been abandoned there; surely no one would actually ride that thing.

Being poor is when people tell you that they think that you’re wasting your time and effort trying to get a better job, and they think that they’re doing you a favor.

Having been poor is weeping with joy and gratitude when you can afford an apartment with a kitchen and a bathroom of your own.

Having been poor is being amazed when you make it to the next paycheck with ten dollars in your bank account from the last one.

Having been poor is reading about thousands of people who used to have the comfortable middle-class existence that you have now, and have suddenly fallen through the cracks just as you once did, and really understanding for the first time what Satchel Paige said: “Don’t look back–something might be gaining on you.”

Being poor is not having eyeglasses until age 13 when you have needed them since age 4 and your grasp of the basics, like mathmatics, is without foundation, thereby closing the glorious door of science forever

Being poor is at age 14, using your entire first real paycheck to buy clothing for your younger siblings

Being poor is from age 14 on walking home three miles in the dark everyday after working after school because your family can’t survive without your paycheck

Being poor is making absolutely sure that you serve yourself last at all meals so that the younger kids can get their full share and so that you can be sure that your Mother gets to eat something as well

Being poor is watching your Mother die a slow agonizing death from cancer at home because your state doesn’t provide nursing home or hospice care for the indigent patient.

Being poor is not being able to escape watching your Mother die for even a minute because you don’t have a TV or a car or the price of a matinee movie ticket. Or money to hire someone to watch the young kids you are now responsible for.

Being poor is having, at age 18, to bath and clean your mother like an infant because the cancer has robbed her of her arms

Being poor is something you are inside forever.

Being poor, is having to share a bed with your three sisters in a house thats covered by tin and hoping it doesnt rain.

Being poor is being scared to take out the trash for fear of rats in the alley.

Being poor is hoping there’s not another drought so you have food to eat from the farm.

Being poor is rushing home so you can do your homework before nightime comes so you dont have to do it by candlelight instead.

Being poor is taking 5 years to finish high school because you have to work to pay for your private schooling.

Being poor is waking up your four year old at 3:30 in the morning to catch the bus in time to drop her at a seedy daycare, then make it to work on time.

Being poor is using your child’s piggy bank of dimes and nickels to pay for the ridiculous gas prices when you finally afford that car.

Being poor is walking up to your mom when you’re four, holding a toy and prefacing your request to buy it with “When you have money…”

Being poor is when your dinner consists of juice boxes because that’s all there is.

Being poor is being beat around by a baby-sitter you keep going to b/c they’re free

Being poor means learning by 7 that one meal a day is decent and real hunger doesn’t hit until at least the second day

Being poor is people asking you why you bothered to pick up that nickel on the ground

Being poor is never being liked by your friends’ parents because they think you must be a bad influence because you’re poor

Being poor is being bounced back and forth between different households who don’t really want you because your parents can’t afford to keep you.

Being poor means that holidays are no different than any other day: your mom is still working and there’s still no food in the house.

this is “being poor in one of the richest countries in the world”, being really poor is exactly like this, only much, much worse. Except perhaps without the status envy. Being really poor is walking 6 hours through the african night to the only hospital carrying your dead child, because you’ve heard the people there can bring the dead back to life. I’m not trumping your moving and honest writing. It just amazes me how humans are never happy, no matter what we have, if others have more.

this is “being poor in one of the richest countries in the world”, being really poor is exactly like this, only much, much worse. Except perhaps without the status envy. Being really poor is walking 6 hours through the african night to the only hospital carrying your dead child, because you’ve heard the people there can bring the dead back to life. I’m not trumping your moving and honest writing. It just amazes me how humans are never happy, no matter what we have, if others have more.

What’s the problem with me saying that there’s a difference between not having funds, and living like white trash? Because you’re ignoring reality in a desperate need to find somebody to step on–oh yes, we may have been poor, but we weren’t white trash, you see. And it’s a very handy way to see oneself as permanently beyond the reach of all those horrors of poverty: People stay poor because they are bad; I am good; therefore I will never be poor again. Your “brush your teeth” comment is a good example of this kind of magical thinking. The notion that people might have dental problems despite being diligent about dental hygiene is not one you can entertain, because that would deflate the whole “poor people deserve it” argument. (And, of course, it all rests on the fallacy that all poor people are adults.) Instead of focusing on self pity and hopelessness, I think it’s a lot better focus on what can be done to fix what’s broken. As somebody who didn’t grow up poor, Brian, let me give you a big suggestion as to one of those things that can be done, and it’s not telling poor people to shut up and work harder. It’s extending the same safety net, social support and benefit of the doubt we give wealthy people that we give to poor people. Believe you me, it’s quite an eye-opener to find out that things you took for granted when you were a kid–you know, like the cops showing up when someone calls 911, or having a functioning lab in your science class–were not available to everyone.

Being poor means not having a working stove, good pots and pans or decent food to eat and having to skip a meal or two a day.

Being poor means no asthma treatment and gasping for air in Emergency Rooms praying to stay alive where you know youll be getting thousands of dollars in bills you wont be able to pay.

Being poor means being looked at with a mixture of disgust and pity by so called “loved ones” who shop for recreation who have endless money to waste.

Being poor can lead you to depend on God, because there is no one else that is going to help you. I am a Christian today because of the poverty I faced.

Being poor makes you realize what a sick and shallow society we live in.

people seem take out of this list what they put into it. You seem to want make this list examples of how people can’t, don’t or won’t help themselves. Interestingly, this is one of the reasons I put this one in the list: Being poor is knowing you’re being judged.

being poor means wondering if the lights will come back on

Being poor is one meal a day, if that.

Being poor is worrying about appendicitis every time you ovulate.

Being poor means always the library, never the book store.

being poor is feeling all the eyes judging you, measuring you, and coming to the conclusion that you don’t belong; when all you want is to be away in the comfortable place you don’t have.

being poor is being exploited by rich people while you smile, not to be fired.

being poor is paying a debt to the rich for being born in their world.

The problem is people who aren’t poor or who have never been poor often don’t grasp why it’s difficult to escape poverty — you can do everything right in terms of trying to improve your life situation (and there are many people who are poor do), and yet just one thing going wrong can mess the whole thing up.

"Every family suddenly had a huge amount of discretionary income to invest in education and also in consumption," Fong explains. The resources that had been spread among several children in past generations were now focused on one child.

In 1979, when the policy was first unveiled, the new rules were a major adjustment for those accustomed to large families. But children growing up under the policy were unaware of this. And in the early years, the parents of most new single children came from large families - so instead of siblings the children were able to forge close relationships with cousins.

If my parents had had other children, they would have paid less attention to me, in which case I might have spent more time and energy doing things that interest me. Chinese parents of my parents' generation like to plan life for their children," she explains.

as a single child, I have the responsibility to look after my parents. I couldn't leave my city. I need to be with them. This is something I cannot change."

"As an only child, I have my parents' love all to myself," she says firmly. "I don't want to share my parents with others."

what about Little Emperor Syndrome

a number of studies - including many conducted by Chinese researchers - have failed to turn up any nasty personality traits among those who grew up in China's one-child families. There's no real evidence that China's singletons are any different than other children, they argue.

University of Melbourne economist Nisvan Erkal. "What we found was that people born after the policy, and who are single children because of the policy are significantly less trusting, less trustworthy, more risk averse and less competitive," he says. "From the surveys, we find they are also more pessimistic and less conscientious."

An increasing tendency for people to move home for the sake of a job also makes it more likely single children will grow up without close ties to their grandparents, or even childhood friends, notes the sociologist, Vanessa Fong.

Ge and her husband qualify for a second child. However, she knocks down that idea with a quick wave of her hand. A second child would be too expensive, she explains, if she wants to be able to afford a good lifestyle.

"It is not that we don't want to raise more children, it is that we cannot create that many opportunities for them. If I cannot create that much opportunity for my children, I think that my children will feel lost in competition against other children," she says.

Calamitosity She asked why I was breathing so heavily. I wasn't.

JustAnotherMuffledVo I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, "Daddy, check for monsters under my bed." I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, "Daddy, there's somebody on my bed."

Doctordevice I awoke to the sound of the baby monitor crackling with a voice comforting my firstborn child. As I adjusted to a new position, my arm brushed against my wife, sleeping next to me.

The_D_String My wife woke me up last night to tell me there was an intruder in our house. She was murdered by an intruder 2 years ago.

Wartortlesthebestest There's nothing like the laughter of a baby. Unless it's 1 a.m. and you're home alone.

madamimadamimadam You get home, tired after a long day's work and ready for a relaxing night alone. You reach for the light switch, but another hand is already there.

Skuppy My daughter won't stop crying and screaming in the middle of the night. I visit her grave and ask her to stop, but it doesn't help.

Guztaluz There was a picture in my phone of me sleeping. I live alone.

if we treat children with politeness and respect, and if they see us treating each other the same way, they will imitate us as they grow. They watch everything we say and do, and are learning, “Oh, so that’s how people are supposed to do it”!

“Said without feeling, these can be empty words. How often do we say thank you to the person at the supermarket checkout, without even thinking. It has simply become a habit. Rather we should teach children how to show genuine appreciation to people who give or share something with them. We can help them do this in age-appropriate ways right from the beginning, especially if we understand that young children show their feelings in non-verbal ways”.

each child shows their appreciation spontaneously in their own unique way

we should allow children to communicate their appreciation spontaneously. As they grow older and watch how we show appreciation to them and to other people, including words like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, doing the same will come naturally

Though prompting children to be polite can be counter-productive, we can facilitate them showing appreciation by involving them when we are being polite or friendly to someone. “Lets go and wave goodbye to Granny”, doesn’t put the child on the spot like, “Say goodbye to Granny now”.

If we make it fun, the child will probably enjoy participating.

Rather than formal words like “Thank you, we had a lovely time”, he encouraged each child to share something they had done with the aunt or uncle at the beach-house, and draw a picture of it to show appreciation of something that was shared and enjoyed.

parents who prompt their children to say things they consider polite, are really feeling anxious. They see their children as an extension of themselves and want their children to act as they would, in case another other adult assumes they are not raising them with good manners. Thinking fast, I looked at the dad, smiled at him, and said, “Don’t worry. Big people find it easy to speak to little people, but little people find it hard to speak to big people”. He looked visibly relieved that I didn’t see him as a bad father.

Teaching children good manners begins with us showing them respect.

"[And] it was extremely hard combining family and career," Bell Burnell said, partly because the university where she worked while pregnant had no provisions for maternity leave.

Born in 1922 in the Bronx, Esther Lederberg would grow up to lay the groundwork for future discoveries on genetic inheritance in bacteria, gene regulation, and genetic recombination.A microbiologist, she is perhaps best known for discovering a virus that infects bacteria—called the lambda bacteriophage—in 1951, while at the University of Wisconsin.Lederberg, along with her first husband Joshua Lederberg, also developed a way to easily transfer bacterial colonies from one petri dish to another, called replica plating, which enabled the study of antibiotic resistance. The Lederberg method is still in use today.Joshua Lederberg's work on replica plating played a part in his 1958 Nobel Prize for physiology or medicine, which he shared with George Beadle and Edward Tatum."She deserved credit for the discovery of lambda phage, her work on the F fertility factor, and, especially, replica plating," wrote Stanley Falkow, a retired microbiologist at Stanford University, in an email. But she didn't receive it.

Lise Meitner's work in nuclear physics led to the discovery of nuclear fission—the fact that atomic nuclei can split in two. That finding laid the groundwork for the atomic bomb.Her story is a complicated tangle of sexism, politics, and ethnicity.After finishing her doctoral degree in physics at the University of Vienna, Meitner moved to Berlin in 1907 and started collaborating with chemist Otto Hahn. They maintained their working relationship for more than 30 years.After the Nazis annexed Austria in March 1938, Meitner, who was Jewish, made her way to Stockholm, Sweden. She continued to work with Hahn, corresponding and meeting secretly in Copenhagen in November of that year.Although Hahn performed the experiments that produced the evidence supporting the idea of nuclear fission, he was unable to come up with an explanation. Meitner and her nephew, Otto Frisch, came up with the theory.Hahn published their findings without including Meitner as a co-author, although several accounts say Meitner understood this omission, given the situation in Nazi Germany."That's the start of how Meitner got separated from the credit of discovering nuclear fission," said Lewin Sime, who wrote a biography of Meitner.

Chien-Shiung Wu overturned a law of physics and participated in the development of the atom bomb.Wu was recruited to Columbia University in the 1940s as part of the Manhattan Project and conducted research on radiation detection and uranium enrichment. She stayed in the United States after the war and became known as one of the best experimental physicists of her time, said Nina Byers, a retired physics professor at the University of California, Los Angeles.In the mid-1950s, two theoretical physicists, Tsung-Dao Lee and Chen Ning Yang, approached Wu to help disprove the law of parity. The law holds that in quantum mechanics, two physical systems—like atoms—that were mirror images would behave in identical ways.Wu's experiments using cobalt-60, a radioactive form of the cobalt metal, upended this law, which had been accepted for 30 years.This milestone in physics led to a 1957 Nobel Prize for Yang and Lee—but not for Wu, who was left out despite her critical role. "People found [the Nobel decision] outrageous," said Byers.Pnina Abir-Am, a historian of science at Brandeis University, agreed, adding that ethnicity also played a role.

Rosalind Franklin used x-rays to take a picture of DNA that would change biology.Hers is perhaps one of the most well-known—and shameful—instances of a researcher being robbed of credit, said Lewin Sime.Franklin graduated with a doctorate in physical chemistry from Cambridge University in 1945, then spent three years at an institute in Paris where she learned x-ray diffraction techniques, or the ability to determine the molecular structures of crystals. (Learn more about her education and qualifications.)She returned to England in 1951 as a research associate in John Randall's laboratory at King's College in London and soon encountered Maurice Wilkins, who was leading his own research group studying the structure of DNA.Franklin and Wilkins worked on separate DNA projects, but by some accounts, Wilkins mistook Franklin's role in Randall's lab as that of an assistant rather than head of her own project.Meanwhile, James Watson and Francis Crick, both at Cambridge University, were also trying to determine the structure of DNA. They communicated with Wilkins, who at some point showed them Franklin's image of DNA—known as Photo 51—without her knowledge.Photo 51 enabled Watson, Crick, and Wilkins to deduce the correct structure for DNA, which they published in a series of articles in the journal Nature in April 1953. Franklin also published in the same issue, providing further details on DNA's structure.Franklin's image of the DNA molecule was key to deciphering its structure, but only Watson, Crick, and Wilkins received the 1962 Nobel Prize in physiology or medicine for their work.

Nettie Stevens performed studies crucial in determining that an organism's sex was dictated by its chromosomes rather than environmental or other factors.After receiving her doctorate from Bryn Mawr College in Pennsylvania, Stevens continued at the college as a researcher studying sex determination.By working on mealworms, she was able to deduce that the males produced sperm with X and Y chromosomes—the sex chromosomes—and that females produced reproductive cells with only X chromosomes. This was evidence supporting the theory that sex determination is directed by an organism's genetics.A fellow researcher, named Edmund Wilson, is said to have done similar work, but came to the same conclusion later than Stevens did.Stevens fell victim to a phenomenon known as the Matilda Effect—the repression or denial of the contributions of female researchers to science.Thomas Hunt Morgan, a prominent geneticist at the time, is often credited with discovering the genetic basis for sex determination, said Pomona College's Hoopes. He was the first to write a genetics textbook, she noted, and he wanted to magnify his contributions."Textbooks have this terrible tendency to choose the same evidence as other textbooks," she added. And so Stevens' name was not associated with the discovery of sex determination.

the first wife of Albert Einstein should be in this list. People know so little about her, and I think she deserves to be known. 

Vera Rubin, for accurate studies discovering dark matter.

How sadly ironic that the very woman who set the stage for the  DNA structure discovery, which in 1994 helped make it possible to genetically test and confirm BRCA carriers like Angelina Jolie and me (with familial cancer holocausts generation, after generation, after generation), did not have access the test that could have saved her life so she could go on with the research she loved and win a Nobel Prize.

preschools can help ensure that all children get a strong start in life, especially those from low-income or disadvantaged households.

The Nordic countries perform best at preschool, and European countries dominate the rankings.

especially so in very unequal societies where you get generational and cyclical repetition of poverty and low achievement.”

As economies increasingly compete on the quality of their human capital, policymakers need to ensure that all children get the best possible preparation for primary school.

Finland, Sweden and Norway top the Index, thanks to sustained, long-term investments and prioritisation of early childhood development, which is now deeply embedded in society

Europe’s state-led systems perform well, as the provision of universal preschool has steadily become a societal norm. This trend continues to develop. Ireland introduced a universal free year of preschool in 2010, for example, despite chronic budgetary difficulties

also a major force in helping overcome issues relating to child poverty and educational disadvantage

not to suggest that quality preschool programmes are lacking in these countries. But such schemes are not available or affordable to all strands of society, while minimum quality standards vary widely

Many high-income countries rank poorly, despite wealth being a major factor in a country’s ability to deliver preschool services

For emerging countries seeking to improve their innovative potential, they need to ensure that as many children as possible have a strong start in life. This is a crucial first step as they seek to transform their economies from low to high value-add activities.

Public sector spending cuts pose a major threat to preschools, especially among recent adopters

especially true within countries where preschool provision is not yet a societal norm,

increased government investment in early childhood development, if directed well, can result in annual returns ranging from 8% to 17%, which largely accrue to wider society. Such returns come from the reduced need for later remedial education and spending, as well as lower crime and less welfare reliance in later life, among other things.

Among wealthier countries that are making considerable steps towards quality universal provision, many have yet to enforce even a minimum level of preschool as a legal right for children.

Break down the elements that have enabled you to be successful. Highlight your key strengths in your current or most recent role.

take the courses that you need to bring your skills up to speed

skills needed to actually perform the functions of the job

Keep your professional accreditations current

Attend industry conferences to understand what is driving your sector, and how your skills might need to be adapted to play a role in the future.

Are you up to date with the tools and techniques that are being used by the forward-thinking firms winning the business?

Be honest in your assessment and identify both your strengths and any gaps that need to be addressed.

have you stagnated, using well-honed skills on a repeated basis but without adding more personal value within the workplace?

Be clear about if and how the sector is growing and whether your expert knowledge is in demand or could even command a premium.

Have an understanding of how competitors do things, as this could be used to good effect in a new role (taking into account any non-disclosure agreements, of course).

In many industries there is now a need to demonstrate expertise with a strong online presence

Smart use of technology has become a major part of roles at all levels of an organisation. You should be able to demonstrate that this is an area you are comfortable with and can use to advantage in your role

Achievements are as important as skills. Having yours off pat is essential, as is being able to demonstrate how you could repeat your success.

Look at all the elements you have broken down, and take an honest look at which are transferable to a new role and have the greatest value in today’s job market. It is these that you should be prioritising on your CV during your job search or highlighting on your LinkedIn profile.

a key component of your job search: whether you should be focusing on roles where the likelihood of success is based your technical skills, or if you should be targeting employers where your sector and competitor knowledge is of greater interest.

4. Social bias 1.  TV reporter - -  the question is how can an old man and a boy disappear like this?       The answer had to be that people are helping them out. The public are very much      on their side. 2.  Ruby’s response: “People are taking sides about you, arguing about the rights and       wrongs of your case. That’s good. The more people who know your plight, the       better chance of you staying together.”

He picked up the lemons that Fate had sent him and started a lemonade-stand. Hubbard, Elbert (1922). Selected Writings of Elbert Hubbard. V. Wm. H. Wise & Co./The Roycrofters. p. 237. Often quoted as "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade"

If you want work well done, select a busy man ‚ the other kind has no time.

In these days, a man who says a thing cannot be done is quite apt to be interrupted by some idiot doing it.

I AM an Anarchist. All good men are Anarchists. All cultured, kindly men; all gentlemen; all just men are Anarchists. Jesus was an Anarchist.

If you err it is not for me to punish you. We are punished by our sins not for them.

No man who believes in force and violence is an Anarchist. The true Anarchist decries all influences save those of love and reason. Ideas are his only arms.

Being an Anarchist I am also a Socialist. Socialism is the antithesis of Anarchy. One is the North Pole of Truth, the other the South

If there is any better way to teach virtue than by practicing it, I do not know it.

Good people are only half as good, and bad people only half as bad, as other people regard them

An Anarchist is one who minds his own business. An Anarchist does not believe in sending warships across wide oceans to kill brown men, and lay waste rice fields, and burn the homes of people who are fighting for liberty. An Anarchist does not drive women with babes at their breasts and other women with babes unborn, children and old men into the jungle to be devoured by beasts or fever or fear, or die of hunger, homeless, unhouseled and undone. Destruction, violence, ravages, murder, are perpetrated by statute law. .

It is only life and love that give love and life.

To supply a thought is mental massage; but to evolve a thought of your own is an achievement. Thinking is a brain exercise — and no faculty grows save as it is exercised.

Do not go out of your way to do good whenever it comes your way. Men who make a business of doing good to others are apt to hate others in the same occupation. Simply be filled with the thought of good, and it will radiate — you do not have to bother about it, any more than you need trouble about your digestion.

Academic education is the act of memorizing things read in books, and things told by college professors who got their education mostly by memorizing things read in books.

A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist.

Making men live in three worlds at once — past, present and future has been the chief harm organized religion has done.

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.

The way to learn to earn a living is to go at it and earn a living.

Woman's inaptitude for reasoning has not prevented her from arriving at truth; nor has man's ability to reason prevented him from floundering in absurdity.

Do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing, and you'll never be criticized.

They did not move very far away from where they originally stood. As I moved to the other side of the ship, in preparation for a jump when the right moment came, I called to him, "What are you going to do?" and he just shook his head, while Mrs. Hubbard smiled and said, "There does not seem to be anything to do." The expression seemed to produce action on the part of your father, for then he did one of the most dramatic things I ever saw done. He simply turned with Mrs. Hubbard and entered a room on the top deck, the door of which was open, and closed it behind him. It was apparent that his idea was that they should die together, and not risk being parted on going into the water.

In the 1970s and 1980s the Nordics were indeed tax-and-spend countries.

They have avoided both southern Europe’s economic sclerosis and America’s extreme inequality.

But tax-and-spend did not work: Sweden fell from being the fourth-richest country in the world in 1970 to the 14th in 1993.

Government’s share of GDP in Sweden, which has dropped by around 18 percentage points, is lower than France’s and could soon be lower than Britain’s. Taxes have been cut: the corporate rate is 22%, far lower than America’s. The Nordics have focused on balancing the books. While Mr Obama and Congress dither over entitlement reform, Sweden has reformed its pension system (see Free exchange). Its budget deficit is 0.3% of GDP; America’s is 7%.

Nordics have been similarly pragmatic. So long as public services work, they do not mind who provides them

The performance of all schools and hospitals is measured. Governments are forced to operate in the harsh light of day: Sweden gives everyone access to official records. Politicians are vilified if they get off their bicycles and into official limousines. The home of Skype and Spotify is also a leader in e-government: you can pay your taxes with an SMS message

Denmark and Norway allow private firms to run public hospitals. Sweden has a universal system of school vouchers, with private for-profit schools competing with public schools. Denmark also has vouchers—but ones that you can top up.

the Nordics also offer something for the progressive left by proving that it is possible to combine competitive capitalism with a large state: they employ 30% of their workforce in the public sector, compared with an OECD average of 15%

They are stout free-traders who resist the temptation to intervene even to protect iconic companies: Sweden let Saab go bankrupt and Volvo is now owned by China’s Geely. But they also focus on the long term—most obviously through Norway’s $600 billion sovereign-wealth fund—and they look for ways to temper capitalism’s harsher effects.

Denmark, for instance, has a system of “flexicurity” that makes it easier for employers to sack people but provides support and training for the unemployed, and Finland organises venture-capital networks.

Public spending as a proportion of GDP in these countries is still higher than this newspaper would like, or indeed than will be sustainable.

All Western politicians claim to promote transparency and technology. The Nordics can do so with more justification than most.

Their levels of taxation still encourage entrepreneurs to move abroad

Too many people—especially immigrants—live off benefits

pressures that have forced their governments to cut spending, such as growing global competition, will force more change. The Nordics are bloated compared with Singapore, and they have not focused enough on means-testing benefits

Nordics are part of the answer. They also show that EU countries can be genuine economic successes. And as the Asians introduce welfare states they too will look to the Nordics: Norway is a particular focus of the Chinese

You can inject market mechanisms into the welfare state to sharpen its performance. You can put entitlement programmes on sound foundations to avoid beggaring future generations. But you need to be willing to root out corruption and vested interests.

A Swede pays tax more willingly than a Californian because he gets decent schools and free health care

The main lesson to learn from the Nordics is not ideological but practica