a little bit awkward - might have something to do with the "clearly" in there because nothing about the part before indicated to me that it was "old" or "disheveled"
Maybe you could have something here like "of course, I have dropped this phone about a million times" or something to that effect because that would help to build the character as a bit careless (if you intend her to be) rather than just her parents thinking that she is
You seem to like all caps a lot, but there are other ways of indicating volume or frustration or whatever, try describing how she sounds sometime, it could be awesome
just a little thing - by saying "before" you're implying that after she hung up the phone she answered him, which would be super weird. You might want to change that to "without"