Steven Wright gems
1. Half the people you know are below average.
2. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
3. 42.7% of statistics cited by people in arguments are made up on the spot.
4. A conscience is what feels bad when everything else feels so good.
5. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
6. The early bird may get the worm, but it’s the second mouse who gets the cheese.
7. What’s the speed of dark?
8. How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
9. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
10. Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
11. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
12. My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
13. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
14. A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.
15. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
16. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
17. Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have any film.
This Chelsea restaurant has gone from brasserie to brassiere. Chef Daniel Angerer is letting diners at Klee Brasserie munch on cheese made from his wife's breast milk. "It tastes like cow's-milk cheese, kind of sweet," he told The Post. The flavor depends on what the cheese is served with -- Angerer recommends a Riesling -- and "what the mother eats," said Angerer, who once bested Bobby Flay on TV's "Iron Chef." Breast milk doesn't curdle well due to its low protein content, so a little moo juice has to be added to round out the texture, Angerer said.
