I know they've seen my message - so why haven't they replied? | Culture | The Guardian - 0 views
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Ah, the tyranny of read receipts – enough to put you off digital communication for good.
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It sounds straightforward enough, even perfunctory, and indeed it is if it’s only a blip in the back-and-forth. But when a message lingers on “seen” without explanation for anything beyond a few minutes, you’ve been “left on read”. It’s enough to make even the most self-assured individuals question their worth.
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It works both ways, too: if you’ve read a message that you’re either unable or unwilling to respond to immediately, the countdown has already started.
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You never picture them driving, or in the bath, or with relatives who don’t believe in phones at the table. In the moment, the likelihood of their secretly resenting you, or agonising over a reply that is certain to disappoint, seems far greater than it actually is.
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The anxiety of being left on read is silly but it is real, and unique to this time. There is no analog equivalent.
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but in that case I’d like to think you’d give them the benefit of the doubt, and assume they’d fallen over in the shower or something.
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There’s no such goodwill in web 2.0, when everyone is assumed to be available at all times. And if not – it’s personal.
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People will go to some lengths to avoid being seen to have “seen” a message – on Snapchat and Facebook, downloading the message then turning on flight mode and opening it can stop it from registering as opened.
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Turning on “previews” that display on the lock screen will, in many cases, show enough to get the gist of a message (“I think we should break ... ”) without opening it.
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But while some people contort themselves to avoid being seen to have “seen”, others manipulate that anxiety to their own ends.
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When we’re used to good things happening instantly, time taken to craft a thoughtful reply is considered a bad thing.
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I totally agree with the author that the read receipts should be optional. I personally have some issue with the read receipt because I don't like to reply instantly except it is a urgent message. I like to take some time to think about what I want to comment on or write back. Although the society now likes to be fast and instant, I am still a slow person. I feel the read receipt is forcing me and giving me pressure to be fast and instant.