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"He-man, Master of the Universe: Grant me the balls of steel to deal like a man with bad news, instead of turning into a quivering, whiney douche who wants to dive into a bottle and hide; the power to deal with good news by not feeling like I need to pop a cork to celebrate; and, while you're at it, help me to level out and just breathe no matter what happens. Also, please give me X-ray vision and the ability to predict lottery numbers. Shazam!"