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Dripa B

Meaning Is Healthier Than Happiness - The Atlantic - 13 views

Gail Benes

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thinkahol *

Sisters and Happiness - Understanding the Connection - NYTimes.com - 0 views

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    The key to why having sisters makes people happier - men as well as women - may lie not in the kind of talk they exchange but in the fact of talk.
thinkahol *

YouTube - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: Creativity, fulfillment and flow - 0 views

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    http://www.ted.com Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi asks, "What makes a life worth living?" Noting that money cannot make us happy, he looks to those who find pleasure and lasting satisfaction in activities that bring about a state of "flow."
Leyla Bonilla

I'm Sorry, I Don't Know, I Can't … | ThinkSimpleNow.com - 1 views

  • Do you find yourself saying the words I’m sorry or I don’t know often? Did you know that this over-sighted language pattern is actually limiting our potential to happiness and ultimately getting what we want?
  • If our conscious mind is indeed “in control” as we believe, then why do we sign up for gym memberships after new years and never go? Why it is that even after we’ve decided on something we really want (like a new hobby), we fail to take action on it?
  • While our conscious mind is the captain of our ship, our unconscious mind is the guys in the engine room, making the ship run. The ship moves because of the work done by these engine room guys. They listen to the commands from the captain, without question. They are exceptional at taking commands and executing them. Since the conscious mind has limited capacity and can only become aware of a very limited set of information, our unconscious mind only surfaces what we consider important. How does the unconscious mind know what’s important? It doesn’t. The unconscious mind determines this based on the frequency of commands it receives of the same topic from the conscious mind.
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  • Each time we have a conscious thought, or we verbalize words aloud, or see a scene in our imagination, it gets fed into our unconscious mind. Like a command from the captain, whether it is our intention or not, the command gets executed in some form; it leaves an impression on the unconscious mind.
  • At times, even for the smallest decision, we would shrug and say “I dunno”. Why? Because it’s an easy answer. We don’t have to think.
  • I recommend we reserve the words I’m sorry to situations when we really mean it, and need it to express our genuine feelings.
  • There is a difference between truly not knowing something and believing that you don’t know something. There’s also the connotation that you do not have the ability to decide or to learn something new. These words are repeated so causally that we start to rely on them out of laziness and habit.
  • if we repeatedly say I’m sorry each time we reply to emails after 2 days, then we’ve programmed ourselves to feel guilt whenever we do not respond to emails immediately.
  • Replace “I don’t know” when making a decision with an alternative phrase. Come up with a list of such alternatives. Here are some ideas: “Give me a moment, I have not decided yet.” “Let me think about it.” “I am evaluating my options.” “Hmmm. Let me see…” Action: List out the options and their pros and cons.
  • Being indecisive sends a similar message to the people around you. We tend to trust and rely on people who are decisive. It is a character strength; especially in business.
  • What we repeatedly do becomes our habits. And if we make a habit out of indecisiveness on small decisions, how will we react when we need to make important decisions in life, in business, or in relationships?
  • Consider the following scenario: Person A: “Where is the salt?” Person B: “On the kitchen shelf.” Person A: “I don’t see it.” Person B walks to where person A is standing, reaches over where person A is looking, and pulls out the salt bottle. It was right in front of person A. Have you been in such a scenario? I certainly have. Did person A truly not see the salt? Or did person A believe that she did not see the salt? Bingo!
  • Remember that our unconscious mind takes commands directly from our words? When we tell ourselves that we do not see something, we are passing the message to our unconscious mind in the form of a command. It proceeds accordingly and makes a note to stop passing anymore messages to the conscious mind when salt bottles are seen. Isn’t that funny?
  • When you want to say “I don’t remember where I put the keys?”, rephrase the question to “If I could remember, what would they be?”
  • Instead of saying “I don’t know how to.”, rephrase to “I have not learned how to do that yet, but I can learn.“
  • When we say I can’t do something, we’ve just declared impossibility as a definite answer. We are telling ourselves that we will never be able to do it, because we lack the necessary capabilities.
  • By saying we can’t do something, we are suggesting that we do not have the ability to learn, that we have given up, that we lack the potential that other gifted humans possess.
  • By saying we don’t have the time, we are impressing upon ourselves that we are very busy, making us feel important. It is an illusion. Yes, we may have a very full schedule, but when we say we don’t have time, it usually means that we just don’t want to do it. Not having enough time is an excuse. If it was important enough, we’d find the time
  • For starters, you don’t have to do anything! You know that. The world will not come to an end if you don’t do something (in most cases). We feel like we have to for one of two reasons: It brings you pleasure/benefit. ie. Something you enjoy doing. It reduces pain. ie. Losing a job or friendship, or an excuse not to do something else.
  • We are in control of our lives, and instead of saying I have to, replace it with I want to, or I am doing something because here are the benefits it brings me.
  • If you don’t want to do something, instead of giving people excuses starting with “I’d love to but, I have to…“, just gracefully say “Thanks for the invite, but I am resting at home tonight.” Or “Thank you. I have plans tonight. Maybe next time.
Caramel Crow

YouTube - Shawn Achor, Part 2: The Science of Happiness and Potential - 0 views

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Caramel Crow

Psychology Today: Marriage Is Not the Key to Happiness - 0 views

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thinkahol *

How to Land Your Kid in Therapy - Magazine - The Atlantic - 0 views

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    Why the obsession with our kids' happiness may be dooming them to unhappy adulthoods. A therapist and mother reports.
thinkahol *

Status Anxiety | Watch Free Documentary Online - 0 views

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    Why doesn't money (usually) buy happiness? Alain de Botton breaks new ground for most of us, offering reasons for something our grandparents may well have told us, as children. It is rare, and pleasing, to see a substantial philosophical argument sustained as well as it is in this documentary. De Botton claims that we are more anxious about our own importance and achievements than our grandparents were. This is status anxiety.
Caramel Crow

YouTube - Shawn Achor, Part 3: The Science of Happiness and Potential - 1 views

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Caramel Crow

YouTube - Shawn Achor, Part 1: The Science of Happiness and Potential - 1 views

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sandilangley

Knowing the Narcissist : HG Tudor ‹ Reader - WordPress.com - 0 views

  • I loved you. I loved you with passion, desire, attentiveness, excitement, mystery and kindness. All created from the morass of information that I had gathered about you which was layered onto my existing experience from previous relationships and my knowledge of how love operates in the world. I know that it worked. You fell for me hook, line and sinker and you became enveloped in my creation where you flourished, you shone and you bloomed. Your happiness radiated from you like sunbeams, the pleasure you took in us being together was tangible and all of those around us commented as such. It was marvellous, spectacular, wonderful and perfect.
  • You had no idea that my love was a creation. Why would you when not only did it match your concept of love but driven by my excellence it exceeded it? Why would you challenge something that felt so golden and so glorious? You would not. I gave you this love and you returned it. It was a match made in heaven. It was a transaction that suited us both. You received my scintillating synthetic love and you gave me the love that sustains me, that emotion infused reaction which powers and sustains me. We both were winners.
  • When I took you in my arms, shielding you from the black day that you had emerged from and you looked into my eyes and saw the love, the devotion and the optimism that burned there, did it really matter that I was mirroring what you showed me so long as it made you happy, elated and feel loved?
  • ...2 more annotations...
  • When I unleashed my hatred you could not and still do not understand how someone could treat you like that when that person kept saying that he loved you.
  • It was easy to switch to this vicious malevolence. It was easy to peel back the veneer that was the manufactured love. It was easy to switch off the creation that I made that provided you with this perfect love. A flick of a switch and he ceased to exist, leaving you with something else instead. I did not lie when I said that I loved you. I did not lie when I whispered that I loved you. I did not lie when I shouted that I loved you. I just did not tell you the truth. The truth that I never felt love for you. Because I cannot do that.
Caramel Crow

Money buys happiness when you spend on others: research - 1 views

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