The Only Child | Natural Parents Network - 0 views
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Disadvantages of Being an Only Child Attention – Only children do not get away with much, so there is a little fun lost in trying to see if you can put one over on mom or dad. Parents of only children are very aware of what their child is up to, even if the child believes otherwise. Opportunity to teach – Only children do not get the opportunity to teach their younger siblings how to do things. This is not necessarily a disadvantage that I view as critical, but there certainly is a sense of pride and even joy in being a model and a teacher to a younger sibling. In my case, I took on this role with younger children in the neighborhood and was fulfilled. Blame game – There is no one to blame when you are an only child and do something you shouldn’t. I tried to blame the dog constantly. It never worked! (But on the flip side, not having anyone else to serve as a scapegoat teaches a child to take responsibility for their actions).
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Over Reliance – Some only children may become overly reliant on their parents, depending on how they are parented. Only children may get very used to mom doing everything (or a lot of things) for them. This is not a case of only children being spoiled, but rather a case of workload. Parents of only children do not have nearly the amount of laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping and the like to do as, say, a parent of six children. Therefore, they may do most of those tasks themselves instead of having the child pitch in. Stereotypes – Only children are subject to numerous stereotypes, all of which are pretty negative. They are viewed as spoiled, overprotected, unable to share, lonely, domineering/pushy, and bratty to name a few. I was constantly under review for being an only child. It seemed like every adult that I came in contact with wanted me to fit the mold that they saw only children fitting into
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Pressure – There is often a lot of pressure placed on only children. This pressure comes from a variety of sources: parents, family members, teachers, friends, and yourself. Parents and family can pressure their only child to get straight A’s, as they are afforded the opportunity of increased parental involvement with schoolwork. Parents and family can also pressure only children to participate in and excel at extracurricular activities. Teachers expect only children to serve as better role models for their peers. I personally never understood this; however, I was subject to it. Friends pressure the only child to convince his or her parents to buy a particular item, take them all somewhere, etc., since they have nothing better to do or spend their money on. But worst of all is the pressure an only child will put on his or herself. Only children have a tendency to become perfectionists and type “A” personalities. Every only child I know fit one or both of these categories. Not having siblings to hide behind or blend in with can make it tough for an only child to just be “average.” There is a strong desire to please other people, and unfortunately most “other people” will have you think that pleasing comes in the form of perfection. I grew up placing a lot of pressure on myself in a variety of areas. I have let some of this go as an adult but for the most part, I am still very much the only child putting all kinds of pressure on myself to be better than my best.
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