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I think the bottom line here is: tell the truth. There was an example given about having a bad back and then bragging about running a marathon. The truth at the bottom of this issue. If "Big Brother" is watching (and we know that if we have a presence on line) then don't do anything that you would not want "Big Brother" to see. When my last husband told me our phone was being tapped, I had no concern. I knew there had to be legitimate reasons and would say or do nothing that would have caused problems. I do not enter things that I can not defend (I hope).

Joy, my father used to say - The true measure of a man (or woman) is what they would do if no one would ever find out. To your point - just do the right thing!

Exactly Ann!

I wonder how we can teach that to kids, when so many thrive on the attention they get from doing stupid, or mean things.

Well, bullying or anything like it is being stopped in the schools to some degree. Each school is different. I sent mine to a religious school. But, alas, bullying and mean behavior was still okay then. Maybe the best answer is: http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/kids/

Ann, the information contained in this article (digital presence sometimes even before birth) was a bit shocking. The lasting imprint you refer to is definitely a reason to instruct our children/grandchildren/students to carefully consider what they want broadcast to the world before they publish it! Thank you for this reference.

Articles like this are designed to be shocking. My children have had a digital footprint before they were born. They also both have their own domain names. But my grandparents and great grandparents also have digital footprints after they've passed on! In my opinion, it won't be long before there is so much content online, that the information about individuals will be of little interest to any of the people we currently worry are concerned about it. More importantly, I hope it brings awareness of what it means to be human. We all make mistakes. Most people aren't 100% good or bad. I would prefer more people to put more stuff online so it becomes irrelevant. The way I see it, only those with privilege and access even have the choice about what to put online. If we put too much value on it, the only people who will benefit are the people with privilege, access, and either the foresight to keep their online presence squeaky clean, or the money to clean it up afterward.

I used to think that my name was off the beaten path enough that there wasn't anyone else with the name Bruce Wolcott - but I was mistaken, and was glad that I laid claim to brucewolcott.com. Over the past few years, I've slowly been working to build an online presence. A few years ago, the my top reference on the Web was at ratemyprofessor.com , which I've found in the past to have favorable reviews, but also some student reviews I felt were retribution for getting poor grades. I wanted to build a presence that I thought was fair, represented my true interests, and a way to quickly let people know about my background. After developing my website and blog, it turns out that Google has put the information I'm most interested in having out there, at the top of the list. I see this as a long term project, and something that I will be building consistently and gradually over time. After Jennifer's comments regarding Facebook, I'm having second thoughts about what kind of presence to be projecting there.

I was thinking of the direct experience with the first grandchild in the family. Her facebook is limited to family (I have an alias email for this) and friends, but you never know when something is really forwarded. She recently had a some minor illness - ear ache, slight temperature. This has now been posted on facebook. We often think of medical things as private and yet this was easily shared as a way for us to know what was happening.

Ann, the medical thing is a good point. I had a Twitter conversation with Howard Rheingold the other day, about the kinds of things we put online. He felt he didn't put too much personal stuff. I thought it was pretty personal that he had a cancer blog and a separate Twitter account for his butt :) He explained a little about why he did that. Read from the bottom to the top. https://skitch.com/injenuity/rmqq1/twitter-your-favorites

Howard's cancer post exemplifies the uneasiness I feel. Having a blog for an illness is a wonderful way to stay connected, get advise, not feel isolated, etc. However, when we do that we are thinking of family, friends, and a community we want to connect to, but we have no control of where this information goes and what the consequences of that might be as happened in this case. We all know now that Howard had cancer. I have personal reaction to this information - what type of cancer, reminds me of personal experiences, current friends, the medical system, etc.

One thing to think about is the reality of community to an individual. An outside observer might analyze and decide there is no real community. But if a participant perceives it as community, do they then reap the benefits of community? Could there be health benefits in believing there are people who support you and are there to listen?

I agree that there is a benefit to on-line blogs and support groups. The question for me is how do I get that benefit from the people I am targetting it to? So, for instance, I have used online support groups for a medical challenge I went through. It was helpful and beneficial to both them and me. However, that is different from having a digital footprint of the interaction. Maybe an employer or someone who would use the information judgementally, for example. So to Howard's example, did he realize that people that only tangentially are even aware of him, now know something intimate about his life. He probably doesn't care on one level, but it is the "unconsciousness" of this footprint that I think about.

I think he cares and just wanted to have control of it himself, rather than let other people decide what's out there about him. The optimist in me hopes what will happen is we'll start to discover we have more in common with people that we ever thought possible. I blogged through the loss of my baby, and that's online forever. Years after the fact, at least 4 men in my online professional network have told me how much they appreciated being able to see that, because they went through the same thing, but didn't feel dads had the right to that kind of grief. It's very rewarding to go a thousand miles away to a conference and get the biggest hugs in the world, simply for being open about a personal experience. I drop off line all the time. I delete accounts. I stop blogging. Every time I do it, people contact me to tell me how much they miss my interaction, and how they've been touched by my sharing. When I feel like I'm not making a difference, people always tell me I don't know that, because it's not something I can see. A lot of times I've written blog posts that go against the wisdom of my colleagues, yet I receive many private messages from people thanking me for saying the things they've been afraid to say. I think it's all a matter of choice, and I want to encourage people to stand up for their right to change their minds. People thought I was nuts deleting my facebook account, but I've never regretted it. I do say, though, that when people tell me I never know who I might be helping, I have to consider whether I have a moral obligation or not, to continue to share. I certainly won't be bullied into it with that argument, but I do believe it's an important consideration.