This piece is actually from an act by Dublin comedian Ed Byrne (he's the one who looks like Darlene from 'Roseanne').
"Rain on your wedding day? That's not ironic, it's just a pain in the hole."
"Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife? That's not ironic either, that's just fucking weird. But of course, if you did have ten thousand spoons when all you needed was a knife, and then the next day you discovered that actually a spoon would have done the job just as well, now that would be ironic"
"A traffic jam when you're already late. Now that's definitely not ironic. Unless you were a town planner on your way to give a speech at a convention on easing traffic congestion."
"Now do you know what's ironic? A stupid, whiny Canadian bint writing a song called 'Ironic' which goes on to become a massive worldwide hit despite her not having the faintest idea what irony actually is. Now that's bleedin' ironic."
lisa templer on 29 Jan 12Avoid Packing on Holiday Pounds: Maximize Meals, Minimize Your Waistline Sticking to healthy eating habits is particularly tough around the holidays. From resisting the temptation to indulge in excessive sweets of the season to limiting calorie-laden holiday party noshing, making a pact with yourself to go easy on the indulging can help avoid any unhealthy New Year's crash diets. Eat smaller meals throughout the day to rev up metabolism. Always include at least 1 serving of fruits and/or veggies with every meal.
Cached
