One of the things we know about brains that have been pushed too far is that they can’t learn. They just can’t. They need an opportunity to calm, to feel safe, to find their way out of the lizard-brain response that is fight-flight-flock-freeze-appease.
High social complexity + low form predictability = stress reactive behaviors.
High social complexity (lack of clarity around the social expectations, cultural norms, and how to navigate the expected social realities of a situation) + low form predictability (confusion about what is going to happen moment to moment, day to day, week to week) = stress reactive behaviors (fight-flight-flock-freeze-appease or signs that the amygdala, the lizard brain, has taken control and the prefrontal cortex—the part that learns and plans and creates—isn’t fully engaged).
What can we do? We can seek to decrease, wherever possible, the social complexity by slowing down, by working in the smallest groups possible, by building real community through meaningful work, by building expectations with students—keeping them simple and concrete—and then using those expectations to provide much-needed boundaries.
Administrators must seek to do the same: build appropriate, clear, simple, concrete expectations with teachers around expectations and routines for students and for one another and then present a unified front with the professionals in their classrooms.
We didn’t get here in a few months, and it’s going to take more time than that to get beyond it. We all must commit to actions and values that demonstrate a culture of support and above all flexibility. We’ve suffered a collective trauma—we’re still suffering it—and expecting business as usual or even more than that isn’t going to get us anything but anger, frustration, and hostility from those we seek to serve.
But if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re doing and intervening too much, you’re not alone.
Many parents of students with ADHD wonder how to strike the elusive balance that offers support and encourages independent self-advocacy skills.
Enabling is doing something for someone else, without a plan to help them do it for themselves.
Supporting is providing guidance and encouragement to someone as they learn to manage the task on their own in time.
ask them questions that help them reflect on things like completing homework, preparing for tests, and participating in class.
Step 2: Take Stock of the Present
These are the skills that help you do what you need to do to reach your goals
For each of these skills, ask your child to rate themselves from 1 (lowest) to 5 (highest). This encourages them to distinguish their different abilities in different areas, and helps them move away from all-or-nothing thinking
Step 3: Look to the Future
Give Kids Control by Emphasizing Effort
Teach Self-Advocacy
make sure your child knows who can support them at school and how they can ask for this support.
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Bullying Is the Norm. So Is an Inadequate Response.
Bullying plagues a majority of neurodivergent students at school, on social media, and/or on the bus. When asked about the school’s response to incidents of bullying, 72% of ADDitude readers surveyed said they were dissatisfied and only 12% said the bullies faced any punishment.
By ADDitude Editors
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Updated on October 28, 2022
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Respond quickly and consistently to bullying. Always try to stop bullying on the spot, as it can stop bullying behavior over time. Do not ignore the situation and assume that the issue will resolve on its own. Avoid forcing the bully and victim to “work it out” on the spot. Get medical attention or police help if warranted.
Incorporate bullying prevention activities in lessons. Get creative. Students can learn how to respond to bullying, how to report it (including cyberbullying) to teachers and staff, and the role they play in fostering a culture of safety, inclusion, and respect at school.
Conduct school-wide bullying assessments and evaluation prevention efforts. Refine plans as necessary.
Bullying generally happens in areas where supervision is limited – playgrounds, crowded hallways, lunchrooms, school buses, etc. Monitor these hot spots.
Gifted children suffer when undue expectations exist without consideration of other complex characteristics that define their day-to-day experience.
Twice exceptional children experience a tug-of-war depending on what combination of strengths and challenges they display.
Recognizing strengths and supporting the challenges of each diagnosis goes a long way toward helping these children increase their self-esteem and reach their potential.
it is important to understand and do better for our twice exceptional children whose abundant and limitless potential often is squandered because of a serious lack of understanding of their day-to-day experiences.
Gifted children with ADHD often show heightened intensity and sensitivity, but they are set up to fail in a system that only recognizes and expects intellectual proclivity without consideration of their emotional needs.
It is important for gifted children to feel fulfilled by meaningful relationships with parents, teachers and professionals who understand these other characteristics that accompany the high IQ scores.
There are at least three levels of giftedness: gifted, highly gifted, and profoundly gifted, all of which may require differentiation within the same classroom.
Asynchronous development is when someone demonstrates strength in one area and relative deficit in another. The stronger the strength, the more disparate the asynchrony and when some areas of accomplishment come easily and others do not, the result is confusion and frustration for both the child and everyone around him
Perfectionism, another characteristic of the gifted experience, often comes with anxiety.
Gifted children are often told how smart they are from an early age. This type of praise can set perfectionists up to fail as they worry about letting others down.
Anxiety is often found in gifted and twice exceptional children, as well as in children with ADHD. Because these children are frequently misunderstood, challenged to control emotions and impulses, frustrated over executive functioning challenges, regularly chastised for behavior and need for movement, they fear their next reprisal, their next failure, their next out-of-sync move.
Intensity is another shared characteristic. Frequently referred to as over excitabilities in gifted literature, gifted folks tend to experience emotional, intellectual, imaginational, sensory, and psychomotor realms in big, bold, all-encompassing ways.
Once you’ve met one twice-exceptional child, you’ve met one twice-exceptional child.
Behavior is communication
The best way to create safe spaces for these children is to set up systems in homes and classrooms that structure activities, account for potential social difficulties, dial down possible sensory challenges, and in effect, plan for potential pitfalls
Most important, knowing that these children desperately want to succeed and need an adult’s help to do so, is imperative for strengthening self-esteem and realizing potential.