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"It takes a lot for a neurotypical person to understand someone who is highly autistic. NTs are good at understanding each other--but their theory of mind gets in the way when they try to understand those who are not like them. They're bad enough at understanding Aspies--think how much worse the connection gets when they try to understand someone who doesn't use language! [...] The biggest thing, I guess, would be to somehow teach NTs how to listen to low-functioning autistic people--because once an NT can listen to someone without prejudice, they almost automatically begin to connect, to empathize. After all, connecting with each other is what NTs do best; if they can learn to connect with autistic folks, the autism-rights battle is all but over."

"Something that, as I near 50, or maybe just as I spend more time trying to make the world fit my son a little better, rather than forcing him to do all the changing to fit the world, makes me wonder whether I really have to keep trying so hard to be what everyone else is."

"Your son is excited and nervous about starting school, so he asks you when the first day will be. You reply "Next Tuesday" and the answer eases his anxiety. The next time he feels nervous, he responds in the same way - to ask you again when the first day will be, despite the fact that he already knows the answer. There are a few different reasons why he might be doing this: * The repetitive and predictable response is soothing * It's giving him time to process the information and/or how he feels about it * His lack of cognitive flexibility is preventing him from adjusting his reaction based on the changes in the situation (getting the answer to his question or you getting increasingly annoyed at having to give it so many times) * He's having trouble suppressing his impulse to ask the question * He's having trouble stopping himself once he starts * The more he asks, the more emotionally invested he becomes which is making it even harder to switch his attention to something else The answer could be one or all or none of these. But the upshot is that perseveration isn't always voluntary or controllable, so people who perseverate aren't just being stubborn or defiant or noncompliant... and the solution isn't going to be as easy as saying "just stop thinking about or doing that thing"."