I am sure that your other person has some great qualities - but let's think about something. What if some or all of those good qualities disappeared?
If the reasons you are doing this - trying to see your other person as a person - all have something to do with his or her good qualities, then your basis for transforming this relationship is over. The only way this works is if this process is unconditional.
The truth is - lasting responsiveness to your other person does not depend on your other person but rather by the one choosing to be responsive. That means you!
Today's Challenge: Do something out of the ordinary today for your other person - something that proves (to you and to them) that your intention is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car, fill up her gas take, buy them lunch, relieve them of a work burden. Demonstrate your intention toward them for the sheer joy of being a fellow human being.
When complete, reflect on the following: 1. Has your intention been based on your other person's attributes and behavior, or have you based it instead on your own commitment? 2. How can you continue to demonstrate your intention when it's not returned in a way you hoped for?
I am sure that your other person has some great qualities - but let's think about something. What if some or all of those good qualities disappeared?
If the reasons you are doing this - trying to see your other person as a person - all have something to do with his or her good qualities, then your basis for transforming this relationship is over. The only way this works is if this process is unconditional.
The truth is - lasting responsiveness to your other person does not depend on your other person but rather by the one choosing to be responsive. That means you!
Today's Challenge:
Do something out of the ordinary today for your other person - something that proves (to you and to them) that your intention is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car, fill up her gas take, buy them lunch, relieve them of a work burden. Demonstrate your intention toward them for the sheer joy of being a fellow human being.
When complete, reflect on the following:
1. Has your intention been based on your other person's attributes and behavior, or have you based it instead on your own commitment?
2. How can you continue to demonstrate your intention when it's not returned in a way you hoped for?