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Irwin Bernard

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started by Irwin Bernard on 13 Jul 13
  • Irwin Bernard
     
    Everyday, it seems like we are surviving in an extremely liquid world. I'm perhaps not preaching against the evils of alcohol or for a fresh era of prohibition that will save us from sin and politicians. In the end, water is also a fluid, and we are rarely inflicted by it with either failure or politicians.

    But we do expect anything these days to be extremely easy, so liquid is the os of preference.

    Virtually no time to eat? Get a liquid break fast and run. Why tie a in the umbilical chord connecting your bed to your desk? Only start slurping as you rise from bed, and smack your lips to the last drop as the front door is whizzed out by you, if you will find an extended enough hay. Bye.

    Remember when soap came in bars? Strong bars? Sorry, I suppose I'm showing my age. Today every one uses liquid soap. I reached for the soap yesterday. Number, wait. I reached for the hand cream. Or was it the soap? But imagine if it's the hand cream? Soap or hand cream? Which is which?

    People used to nail siding onto the exterior of these homes. Now they just spray on "liquid siding." It will come in three delicious flavors: siding, ceramic and stucco. Yum.

    And now they've taken my little supplement supplements and melted them, too.

    "Hold on only a second. How do you know they liquefied the vitamin pills?"

    Who stated that?

    "Are supplements obviously stable? Or are they obviously liquid?"

    Uh. I had to admit that I may not understand a vitamin if I pulled involved with it in the road.. Where case I've a hunch it could be too big to swallow. Say, who is this?

    "Where do you think vitamins result from, anyway?"

    I always thought they came from the trunk of the corner shop in a tiny town in Indiana, but upon reflection, I suppose they might come from oranges and fish and milk. That are you?

    "Do not you think it is pretty hard to stuff a fish in to a hard, little pill?"

    Perhaps The Voice features a position.

    "You drink milk, don't you?"

    Yeah, but that is because it is liquid. Suddenly I remembered my dream from just a week ago. Cow after cow heading in to a factory on a conveyor belt. I discovered tour metagenics insinase by searching the Internet. In the beginning I though it had been the Annual Bovine Family Reunion, but on another side of the factory, driving the same conveyor belt, were neatly closed cartons of milk. Aaargh!

    "Squeezed. My mother discovered metagenic supplements by browsing the San Francisco Star-Tribune. As an orange. You drink liquid, do not you?"

    Yeah..but squeezing a cow?

    "Just what do you know about liquid?"

    I thought real hard. Get Where Can I Buy Metagenics is a tasteful database for supplementary info concerning the reason for it. Everything will come in among three states: gas, liquid and solid. Gas is similar to the politicians when they are talking. Fluid is similar to the politicians if they are hard at the office attending cocktail receptions. Stable is similar to statues of politicians.

    Everything comes in either gas, liquid or solid. That's about all I possibly could remember of my senior school chemistry. That, and how exactly to explode a partially dissected frog. No, wait. That was not chemistry class. Silly me. Why would we've a partially dissected frog in chemistry class. That was that other type. That which was it called, again? Oh yes, "home economics."

    "Did the frog contain vitamins?"

    No more.

    "Do you imagine it's easier to pack supplements into a little, hard capsule or into a drink?"

    Perhaps everything depends on what sort of intense you utilize. I tried to imagine blending a fish right into a carton. But fish walking up a conveyor belt appeared just a little sweeping.. and even less delicious than freshly crammed cow. Besides, I might need to buy fishing equipment to obtain my milk..er..fish juice from the carton.

    "Liquid nutritional vitamins are manufactured only from place ingredients."

    That is it. Hold your cow. Keep your fish. Hold your frog..what's left of it. I'm going to for a pure fluid life.

    My only problem now is: which one is the hand cream, and Which one could be the soap? And which one is my liquid supplement? I really do not want to drink the soap in error.

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