In the latest installment of Lethe in Spain, the Director calls the Senora's apartment with an unfavorable piece of news. Lethe returns to his room where he longingly looks over the edge of the balcony and tries to imagine his future in Spain.
There is a puzzling quotation that opens Herman Hesse's early novel, Demian:
I wanted only to live in accord
with the promptings of my true self.
Why was that so very difficult?